Where Love Leads Us
by itwasadream
Summary: The sequel to Beautiful When You Don't Try as you requested. Rated M for later chapters. Lots of the same Faberry goodness.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's back. You asked for it and here it is. The sequel to Beautiful When You Don't Try. I have to be honest and say that I have been feeling the pressure. Not only to get this out there but in ever aspect of writing it. The first one got such a huge response and sits on a pedestal for most of you so it has been daunting trying to live up to it. **

**I have to send huge thank yous out to everyone who continued to read the story and send me emails and messages. Thank you to those of you who I bugged the hell out of, picking your brain for thoughts and ideas. And a special thanks to Amy for taking on the task of editing my endless misspellings and for helping me finally pick a title. THANK YOU.**

**But alright... chapter one.**

**~/~/~/~**

"It's too small." Rachel stated, turning in circles with Madeline on her hip.

"Too small? It has five bedrooms." Quinn reminded her, walking around the living room.

"Five_ small_ bedrooms and a narrow living area. We have two energetic four year olds and a one year old who is starting to think that she can keep up. Not to mention a seventeen year old who is going to want a room that will fit more than just her bed in it. We need more space."

The blonde took in a deep breath. "More space means more money. And in Manhattan, that more money can mean hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions."

"You're exaggerating." Quinn arched an eyebrow, challenging her wife but Rachel ignored it. "I'm going back to work. We can manage mortgage payments for a slightly larger house. And you were asked to show some of your work in a gallery and do some lectures in London. That will help... I know that look. What are you thinking?"

Quinn's show of conviction faded and she shyly ran her fingers along the kitchen counter top she had come to rest by at the end of their tour of the potential new place. "I'm not sure if I want to go to London."

Rachel dropped her brow. "You were thrilled about it just last week."

"That's because it was cool. But now that the thought of it has really sunk in... I don't think I can leave this cutie for two whole weeks." She cooed as she approached her daughter in her wife's arms and lightly tickled her sides. Quinn's heart melted at the sound of her laughter. It was so much like Rachel's with it's musical quality. Quinn's heart melted more when Madeline stopped and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder, looking up at the with a full smile. "I can't go."

"You can and you will." Rachel wasn't having any of it. She didn't want Quinn to go, but she knew this was something that her wife was really wanting to do.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I thought that was obvious. I mean, how often do I get the opportunity to invite my girlfriend over for a quick fling? I have to sneak it in there before Beth comes too."

"Ah! But Bethis coming _before_ I would leave, so your affair is once again ruined."

"Damn. Maybe one day I'll actually get to cheat on you."

"So..."

"You're going. Either that, or I'm kicking you out of the house for two weeks. Therefore, you wouldn't see the children or myself for the same amount of time and accomplishing nothing in the process. So, pick your poison. Also, we still need more space."

Rachel quickly pecked the blonde's lips and vanished from the room. Quinn turned to look at the confused relator with as much of a belated smile as she could manage while her lips were mashed between her teeth. "The boss has spoken. We need more space."

"Near a park!"

The blonde turned to face the direction her wife exited from and then back to the realtor who stood silently with an arched eyebrow. "Near a park would be preferable." Quinn gave the woman one more nervous smile before walking out of the kitchen with as much dignity as she could, catching up to Rachel as she walked out of the front door. "So we need a park now?"

"It's summer time. I don't want the kids cooped up in the house and studio anymore."

The blonde dropped her brow as she accepted her daughter who was calling for a change of arms as they stood next to the car. "Since when are they ever cooped up?"  
>"They aren't because we have the terrace. But the backyards on all the houses we've looked at are tiny."<p>

"No smaller than the terrace." Quinn argued, getting a diva pout in response. "What is this about, Rachel? And don't tell me nothing, because I know you better than that."

The brunette leaned against the passenger side of the car and played with the hem of Quinn's shirt, dropping her eyes bashfully as she slowly pulled her closer. "We're buying a house. Our first house. Maybe even the only house we will ever buy. I just don't want to settle for anything less than perfect for it."

Quinn smiled broadly and shifted Madeline on her hip, looking at the one year old. "You know what that was, Maddy? That was your Mama doing what she does best, getting her way because of an irresistible pout. I just hope you didn't inherit it too, because I might be in some serious trouble then."

"Push over." Rachel teased as she pushed off of the car and into a hug with Quinn's free arm.

"You say push over, I say in love."

"I'm in love and I'm not that much of a push over."

"Well, you're just special then."

"Don't you know it." The diva remarked, lifting up on her toes and into a tender kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

~/~/~/~

"We need more space." Kim stated as she leaned slightly into the kitchen counter, her palms pressed against the tile top, holding her weight as she scanned over the living area of their loft. Their dinning table had been pushed flat against the wall to make way for Aubrey's mountain of toys that overflowed from her bedroom. Adrianne was sitting on the floor with her back pressed against the wall between the windows, passively playing with her daughter while looking around the tiny apartment as well. They had lived there for five years and it only seemed to be getting smaller and smaller.

"We do, don't we?"

Kim slowly nodded her head and brushed her hair out of her face before leaning down further and resting her elbows on the counter top. "Perhaps we can find a realtor of our own while Rachel and Quinn are looking for their place as well? I don't know if this place can hold another child."

Adrianne head shot back to her wife in hesitant eagerness but the shorter brunette mashed her lips between her teeth and shook her head before dropping her eyes. The photographer stood up and made her way to the kitchen, being met in a hug before she could even ask for one. "It will happen. When the time is right, it will happen. Until then, we will schedule another session when you're ready." She tried to calm Kim's fears, slowly running a hand up and down the smaller woman's back and kissing the top of her head. They had been trying for six months to get Kim pregnant. It wasn't taking. It took once but she miscarried shortly after.

"Until it does though, I need something to occupy my time. Beth will be up here soon and she'll start helping out in the studio, freeing up more of my time. I would like to have something to occupy it with."

"Anything you want, Babe. Anything you want."

That earned a smile from the shorter woman who wrapped her arms tighter around her wife's waist as she looked across the room to their daughter. "We got lucky with her."

"We did." Adrianne agreed, resting her chin on the top of Kim's head and watching as Aubrey played with her toys by herself, content. "And we _will_ get her a playmate. When the time is right."

"Right." Kim agreed standing up from their embrace and letting out a quick breath of air, blowing away all the negativity. "So!" She started with a renewed energy. "When you go tomorrow to find a relator, you'll know to tell them we need at least three bedrooms."

"Oh, I'm going?" Adrianne asked teasingly as she moved to the other counter and let Kim continue preparing their dinner.

"Yes, you are. I work and you don't have anything scheduled. You can take Aubrey with you too. It would be nice for her to get away from the studio too."

"I can do that. But you know, there is a drawback to you being the one to set up my schedule. It gives you the upper hand in being able to boss me around."

Kim looked over her shoulder as she washed the lettuce in the sink and smirked. "Adrianne, we're married, I already have the ability to do that."

~/~/~/~

"Are they all asleep?" Rachel asked as she pulled her tank top down over her head, readying herself for bed. Quinn paused, resting against the bedroom door frame and nodded her head while she looked at her wife lovingly. They stood there for a moment in silence, never needing to speak a word as their eyes locked together and said everything for them. Five years of marriage and their connection was stronger than ever. The papers told their lies, each one more ridiculous than the last. Anywhere from affairs with models, to cheating with men, to divorce papers being filed months ago. The latest one started after Quinn visited a relator when they decided it was time to start looking for a bigger house now that Madeline was starting to walk and Beth would be arriving soon. The next week the papers read that Rachel had kicked her out and refused her rights to visit the children. But they didn't let any of it bother them anymore.

Quinn smiled and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around the smaller woman's waist and nuzzling into her neck, taking in the smell of her wife. Rachel gave her her time, knowing that this, them being this close, calmed everything that went wrong through the day and what promised to go wrong tomorrow. That had never changed from their first day together.

A smile spread across the brunette's face as she felt more and more of Quinn's weight being pressed against her, slowly leaning her back against the bed until she lost her balance and they both collapsed onto the mattress. Rachel's boisterous laughter rang out until she slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the noise, not wanting to wake up their children, but Quinn pushed up to hover over her and gently removed her hand.

"I love your laugh. I want to hear it."

"I just don't want to wake the kids up, Baby." She explained as their eyes met again and she ran her hands down Quinn's neck to her collarbone and back up again. "Do you ever wonder-"

"How we got so lucky?"

Rachel blushed slightly and diverted her eyes before playfully arching one eyebrow. "I was actually going to ask if you ever wondered how many nights we've done this and asked each other how we got to be so lucky."

"You always have to make things difficult, don't you?" Quinn teased with a beaming smile. "Once I get you to be predictable, you have to go and change things around, making me look bad."

"It is an outlet for my creativity. I mean, I haven't worked in over a year now and I need some sort of release before I-"

"Shut up and kiss me already." The blonde smiled a little softer as she leaned down and captured her true love's lips in a lingering kiss. There was nothing rushed about it. It wasn't leading to anything else. But that wasn't what either of them were looking for. What they wanted was that feeling where the other's presence shut out the rest of the word, isolating them and allowing their shielding walls to be let down for what seemed like the first time in their lives. There with each other, they were safe, trusting and knowing completely that the other would never do anything to hurt them and would be there without fail if needed.

It was the most surreal feeling to know that there was that one person in the world that they could trust unconditionally but it was also the most real feeling either of them had ever experienced. It was as if the fog of life lifted when they were together and what the world was suppose to be seeped through. Senses were stronger. Each touch was felt purer. Even now as Quinn ghosted her lips along Rachel's jaw line and down to the curve of her neck, never kissing but only feeling, all of her senses focused on the minute connection between her skin and Rachel's.

The action wasn't sexual in nature, but rather sensual. Taking in every touch and feel because that was what she wanted, not anything that would come after. It was about the presence of the woman there with her, everything about her. How Rachel's fingers lightly grazed the back of her arms, taking in Quinn's feel as she moved her lips over the exposed skin of the brunette's shoulder. It was about that pounding of the woman's heart beneath her, resonating into her own chest, bonding them even further. The smell of her skin, every inch as appealing as the last, pulling her senses away from herself and to the woman who held a part of her heart that she never wanted back.

"Can we stay here forever?" Rachel asked in the lightest whisper that she knew Quinn would still be able hear, not wanting to ruin the moment between them now. This was a healing process, taking away the burdens of the day.

"If it wasn't for the three beautiful children down stairs, I would say yes, and I would die contently in your arms."

The diva smiled and raised her hips slightly, rolling them over to lay facing each other on their sides. She brushed the blonde tresses away from Quinn's hazel eyes and studied them with her own, each movement met by the blonde's as she studied her wife's eyes as well. They were the key to everything. They told her so much that words never could. "I love you, Quinn Fabray."

"I love you too, Rachel Fabray."

Rachel smiled a little deeper and leaned forward, pushing Quinn to lay down so she could snuggle into her side. "Good, then you'll be sure to call me every day that you're in London."

"Rachel-"

"Don't Rachel me. You were so excited to get that offer. You can't tell me that you don't want to go anymore."

"I want to go." Quinn assured her running the tips of her fingers up and down the back of Rachel's arm while placing her other hand on top of the smaller one resting on her chest. "I just don't want to go if that means I'm going to be away from you and the kids for two weeks."

"We've done the separation thing before." Rachel argued, not wanting Quinn to give up more opportunities that she already had. That quality of the photographer's personality was unchanged by time. Every sacrifice had to be hers or she was compelled to preform grand romantic gestures to make up for whatever Rachel had given needlessly in her eyes.

"And we promised never to do it again unless we could both go or at least visit easily. London is a whole ocean away."

Rachel took a deep breath and let it out slowly through her nose as she studied the hand on top of hers and the rings decorating her wife's finger. "Quinn."

There was a change in her tone of voice and the blonde's eyes shifted over the ceiling above her. Rachel was being serious now. There was no more playing. "Yes?"

The brunette wiggled closer and repositioned her temple on her wife's shoulder, showing her love and support in the move. Telling her silently that she loved her and didn't want to spend any amount of time away from her, but she still needed to say something. "I want you to go. I want you to have your moment and experience something new. I know it will be hard on both of us but I don't think I could live with myself seeing the regret on your face everyday."

"I wont regret-"

"You will." Rachel cut her off and waited until the blonde let out a long breath of frustration through her nose. It wasn't frustration with Rachel, just the fact that Rachel was right. The whole what-if game would kick in and the constant reminder that a once in a lifetime opportunity slipped by because she was being a lovesick baby instead of an adult who should be able to handle a two week business trip. "Please?"

"...okay."

~/~/~/~

"How about this one?" Quinn asked as she placed a printed paper on the counter next to Rachel before grabbing the breakfast plates the brunette had just finished making.

Rachel's eyes scanned over it as she called out blindly. "Boys, breakfast is ready."

The blonde quickly deposited the morning meal on the table before rushing back to the kitchen for a warm towel to clean up the mess Madeline had made with hers. They had a system in place. It was rushed and a little sloppy, but it worked for them. Quinn got dressed while Rachel cooked, then served the boys and cleaned up Madeline. Rachel was then waiting with a cup of fresh coffee as soon as her wife finished rinsing out the rag and they all sat down for twenty minutes together in the morning before Quinn was normally scheduled to be in the studio.

"I like it. It has the space we need." Rachel observed as she took a seat at the table that the boys had just bounced to. Quinn sat down then stood right back up, quickly swapping the boys' plates before the complaints could be heard that she forgot again. Gabe had started an apparent 'Berry habit' of demanding the crust of his toast be cut off before he would eat it. That habit was Rachel's job to break as were all of his other expanding diva traits.

"It only has four bedrooms so the boys will still have to share." The blonde explained before sipping her coffee. "But the basement is huge. We could make that the play area as well as a section of it for my office because that house is further away from the studio than this apartment."

"Boys, knock it off." Rachel called out without even removing her eyes from the paper. Both boys slowly lowered their hands back to their plates and deposited the pieces of scrambled egg they were about to throw at each other. "Where would we put Beth?"

"I was thinking on the same floor with the boys. There are two bedrooms on the second floor and the master suite and a smaller bedroom on the third floor. The smaller one could be Maddy's room. Either that..." Quinn trailed off as she quickly grabbed the sippy cup from her daughter and tightened the lid to prevent them from having another outfit change this morning. "Or the small room could be my office and we could make part of the basement Beth's room. She would have her own space and bathroom that way."

"So why didn't you present that option first?" The diva asked setting the paper down and looking into her wife's eyes, knowing very well by now how the beauty of the blonde's mind worked. There was a reason for everything and she loved it.

"I don't want her to feel like we are shoving her to a corner. This is the first time she will be with us for more than a week or two. She's living with us, like family."

"She _is_ family."

"I know." Quinn agreed. "That's why I'm hesitant to give her the basement instead of a room with the rest of us."

Rachel thought about it some more, returning her eyes to the print out. "Well, she wont be here for a few more weeks. So why don't we just set up an appointment to look at this place and get a better idea of what we would be working with." They both leaned across the table and shared a tender kiss in agreement.

"Ewww..."

Slowly the women pulled apart and turned their heads to look at the boys who both had their hands over there eyes but were clearly peeking through their fingers. Quinn sighed and hung her head in defeat as she slid back into her chair. "You know this is only going to get worse now that Santana is here." She informed her wife, jerking her head to the twins.

"No." The diva stated as she shook her head adamantly. "I refuse to stand by helplessly as our sweet little boys become corrupted by her."

"And what exactly do you plan on doing to prevent it?" The blonde asked with an amused raised eyebrow.

Rachel looked down at her food, undaunted by the challenge placed in front of her. "I haven't decided the best and most appropriate course of action as of yet. Perhaps I will strike a deal with her."

"Like what? We start paying her bad words fund? That could bankrupt us, Baby. But maybe you could stop trying to set her up on dates with your friends from the theater."

The diva gasped and set her fork down as if she was truly offended. "I have not been trying to-"

"Right. They just always happen to be at functions we are attending or at the same restaurants we eat at, but only on the nights when Santana is with us. It's really just all coincidence."

Rachel shrugged, diverting her eyes back to her meal. "Some might say fate, destiny, meant to be."

"You're relentless."

"I just want her to be happy."

"And she'll get there." Quinn assured her, lightening her voice in sincerity. "She just has to do it in her own time and not feel pushed. If she's pushed, she'll close off."

"Well, then... maybe I could use that as a bargaining chip anyway." Rachel finally relented, dropping her shoulders in defeat. "Am I really that pushy about it?"

"No." Quinn answered, leaning across the table again to peck her wife's lips and dismiss any doubt she may have had. "That is just your big heart trying to help a friend in need. Unfortunately, Santana isn't the kind that you can offer help to. She has to ask for it before it will do her any good. Okay?" Rachel nodded slowly, still not liking that she would have to settle for watching her friend suffer. "So, about the house?"

"I'll go. I'll take the kids and give the papers something new to write about. But prepare for the hate mail when word gets around that you kicked me and the kids out so you could have your girlfriends move in here."

"Great. I'll add it to the stack I still have from last time."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Firstly, holy crap. You guys... the response has been insane and I can not tell you how much it has made me smile over the last few days. Thank you for all of your reassuring words, I hope to meet all of your hopes and expectations.**

**As for the story, I'm trying to set up a schedule to post on so you know just about when the next update. I've decided that Monday and Thursday will be my posting days. In regards to how long this one will be, I honestly have no idea. It could be 20 chapters, it could end up being the requested 50 chapters. I don't actually have a planned ending for this so I'm just sort of writing what comes to me.**

**Onto characters... this verse will always have that underlying theme of love, true love, and understanding of oneself and others, but this particular story is getting into the nitty gritty aspect of family and how it affects people, how each character has to work to hold on to what they have. But I'm not going all angsty on you, I promise. There will be more Santana in this story and a huge story line for Beth as well, each just has it's own time. So as the story progresses, you will get more of everyone.**

**I think that was most of the questions asked so I'll shut up now and let you get to the long second chapter and I'll see you again on Monday. Thank you all for reading and reviewing (so many). I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"Hi." Quinn called out lightly to Adrianne who was on the phone as she entered their joint office. The brunette waved in greeting and continued on with her call, leaving Quinn to settle down for the morning. She dropped her bag and grabbed the note of reminders that Kim placed on her desk every evening before heading home herself. The assistant was the first one in and the last one out every day, catering to each of the photographer's needs. With Adrianne, that meant leaving home at home and work at work. With Quinn, that meant reminders for both.

With one more quick glance to Adrianne who was going over her calendar with the person on the phone still, the blonde snuck out and towards Kim's central office which doubled as the groups daycare area. She tapped on the window and waited until she was motioned to enter. Kim was sitting on the floor leaning against the back wall with her legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles, while Aubrey was showing her something he had drawn. When they remodeled the studio, they had installed continuous windows starting at waist level on every wall of the assistant's office, including the shared wall with the photographer's office so Kim could easily get their attention when needed and give her a 360 degree view of the studio so she knew what was going on at a single glance.

"I think she has the creative touch." The photographer remarked as she took a seat leaning against the desk as the assistant praised her daughter's work.

"I think you are right."

An awkward silence suddenly filled the air between them. Kim knew that Adrianne had been turning to Quinn for support after each failed in vitro session and this last one was no exception. But she didn't want the attention it was going to bring her. She didn't want any more 'I'm sorries' or 'it will happen'. She just wanted to move on with her life. Thankfully Quinn understood this. She had dealt with the same emotions when Rachel had struggled getting pregnant. "I thought that Adrianne was suppose to be off today." She added, breaking the silence. Kim lifted her eyes to her boss with a dropped brow. The blonde pointed through the window behind the seated brunette towards the office again. "She's in there on the phone."

"Oh, right. Sorry. We are looking for a bigger place." She trailed off gently, looking back to her daughter who called out to her to look at another drawing. "The loft is getting a little cramped and another room would be nice to have when everything finally does work out, you know?"

"Of course." She nodded and the strangling silence set back in. "Oh, um. Rachel has the kids today. Or for at least this morning. She might stop by for lunch but she did say something about meeting up with Mom."

"Well, then it will be just the two of us by our lonesome then. Adrianne is taking Aubrey with her when she heads out."

The blonde's head perked up playfully. "And what will we do with a studio that is nearly empty?"

Kim lifted her palms into the air, asking the same question. "Something that pays the bills? But it's a light day anyway. You have the one shoot in a little bit that is only scheduled to last two hours. Then you have the phone interview after lunch. Beyond that, your day is free."

Quinn nodded slowly, smiling as Aubrey abandoned the little coloring table and sat down right next to Kim to finish her work. She was a lot like Adrianne, loving to be close to people and Kim was her favorite person. Before she instinctively said something that she would regret like 'she'll have someone to play with soon', Quinn noticed Adrianne stand up from her desk."Let me go talk to your wife real quick before she leaves then." She excused herself and made her way back into her office, shutting the door behind her. "Hey."

Adrianne looked at the shut door for a minute before turning her attention to her friend. "Hey. Am I in trouble or something? You normally only shut the door when you're going to yell at me for breaking a piece of equipment you needed or when I accidentally misordered that one camera."

"It was a seven thousand dollar camera. I have three kids to feed and a diva to keep happy."

Adrianne rolled her eyes and dropped her hands to her side, having heard of this time and time again. "It's done. Get over it. You've misordered things too. Anyway!" She added, cutting Quinn off. "What did you want to say?"

Quinn paused and looked her best friend over. She looked exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." She replied flatly, dropping her eyes from Quinn's and busying herself with papers on her desk. "Just need to meet up with a relator today and find a new place. Some place fresh, you know? Something that says we're moving forward." The blonde listened as Adrianne rambled, knowing that it was only to keep the older woman from crying. Adrianne was struggling. Not only in dealing with the disappointment with each failed attempt, but with seeing Kim in pain as well. The other photographer had never handled people she cared about being in pain well, but especially not her wife. It was slowly killing her to not be able to do anything to make it better besides hugs and kisses. It just wasn't enough in her eyes anymore. While Kim felt like she was letting Adrianne down, Adrianne felt like she was letting Kim down in this endless cycle.

Nothing was said as the brunette stopped shuffling her paperwork and waited as Quinn stepped closer, closing the distance between them before she wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck and pulled her in a tight embrace. "I know what you're feeling." She whispered softly as Adrianne held her back, keeping the sobs in but letting a few stray tears fall to her best friend's shoulder. "I've been there with Rachel but getting through it made it just that much better when it did happen. Whether it's next month or years down the road, I know it's going to happen for you two."

"So do I." Adrianne assured her slowly pulling away and wiping the tears from her cheeks. "So do I. I just wish she didn't hurt so much. She's so worried and so stressed, still blaming herself for the miscarriage..." She trailed off and looked to the ceiling to prevent herself from starting to cry all over again.

"I wanted to talk to you about something. Get your opinion really." Quinn started, leaning back against the desk as her friend continued to compose herself. "I know Beth will be here soon to take on some of the stress that the studio causes Kim. Rachel was thinking that maybe we could look into sending the boys to a daycare and start getting them to socialize a little bit more. That would alleviate more stress from Kim's life and-"

"No." Adrianne stated flatly, suddenly very in control of her emotions. "Kim loves having the kids around. They aren't stress for her. They remind her of why she's going through all of this. Don't take that away. It would crush her on so many levels, feeling like her inability to get pregnant is now effecting everyone's lives. You can't do that."

"Okay. Okay." She replied quickly, raising her hands to try and calm Adrianne's rising emotions. "It was just a thought and this is why we wanted to ask you first. No one knows Kim better than you."

Adrianne ran her hand over her now aching head and sighed. "I know. Just... don't. And let me get out of here and find her a project to distract her from everything."

Quinn nodded and gave a weak smile. "Go find a new place. Maybe you'll run into Rachel while you're looking. Or better yet, maybe you can find a place closer to us."

"Why? Don't I see enough of you at work?" The joke caught the blonde off guard but earned a genuine smile from both women. "We'll buy the house right next door to you and knock down a wall so we have direct access. How about that?"

"That may be a bit extreme?"  
>"You think?"<p>

"Yes. Because I know how loud you two are when you have sex. Knocking down the wall will just make it that much louder."

Adrianne feigned being hurt as she started to follow the blonde out of the office. "Like you two are any quieter. Need I remind you of the Christmas party last year and the show you two decided to put on for everyone in attendance to hear? I'm just glad your parents weren't there. You would have sent Russell to an early grave... and I'm actually getting to the point where I can tolerate him now."

~/~/~/~

"So, how is the house hunt going?" Judy asked as she cut the boy's sandwiches in half. That was something that Rachel had adjusted to well. While Quinn allowed her to raise the kids in the Jewish faith until they were old enough to decide for themselves what they believed in, it was also agreed that Rachel wouldn't impose her vegan lifestyle on them either as they grew up. Rachel had been resistant saying that as long as the vegan diet was thoroughly planned out, the boys and eventually Maddy would be getting all the nutrients they would need. But Quinn wouldn't budge on it. In the end Rachel was secretly thankful. It kept her from worrying about what Judy or anyone else was feeding them while babysitting.

That didn't mean that the family had meat every night for lunch and dinner. It was still very much like how she lived with Quinn. Everything was organic if it was in their house. Everything was done with as much respect to Rachel's personal choice as possible while respecting Quinn's request as well. They learned quickly that the old saying was very true. Marriage was a constant rotation of compromises. Rachel got the religion, Quinn got the diet... as long as it was Kosher.

"Wonderful actually." Rachel beamed, before sipping her water. "Quinn found this really nice house that has just about everything we need."

"That's the one you went to see today, right?"

"Right. But!" She exclaimed dramatically, raising her index finger in the air. "It wasn't next to a park. There was one, however, a few blocks away with the same layout that was. It costs a little bit more but I still want to run it by Quinn."

"Like she would ever turn you down for something you really wanted." Judy mocked, rolling her eyes and turning to her own meal.

The diva shrugged and smiled in the thought of how much Quinn did love her to be able to just relinquish complete control. It was widely known in the extended family that Rachel asking Quinn for anything was really just her playing a part most of the time. Granted there were some topics that were thoroughly discussed between them, but if it wasn't a life altering decision, Rachel almost always got her way.

Raising an eyebrow and smiling devilishly, Rachel met Judy's eyes across the table. "Did she tell you about our discussion last night?"

Judy stopped chewing in interest. "Is she going?" Rachel's smirk grew as she slowly nodded her head. "Oh thank goodness. I was so afraid she would miss out on such an amazing opportunity."

"Not on my watch."

"See, this is why I always said you were good for her. Quinn likes to walk a narrow line of things she is comfortable with. You pull her out of that with a snap of your fingers." The older woman said, snapping her fingers and causing all the children to look at her. "How long will she be gone again?"

"Two weeks."

"Who's weavin'?" Gabe asked looking over the restaurant table to his mother who suddenly lost the smile from her face. They hadn't discussed how best to handle telling the kids. This had never happened before. Neither Quinn nor Rachel had ever been away from the children for more than a night they spent with their grandparents when the couple needed an evening to themselves. It was going to be hard on everyone involved.

Judy and Rachel exchanged quick glances as both women's chins bobbed in the air. "Uh, I..."

"Are you weavin', Mama?" He asked with a dropped brow of confusion quickly matched by one from Julian as well.

"No, Baby. Mama's not leaving." She finally managed to spit out, seeing no way around the topic anymore. "But your Mom has some work that she has been asked to do but it's in a place far away." Neither of the twin's expressions softened and Rachel stumbled further. Quinn was always better at explaining these type of things to the boys. "How about we finish talking about this tonight when Mom is with us, okay?"

"Right." Judy agreed with a nodded before distracting the boys by asking them questions about what they wanted their new room to look like.

~/~/~/~

"Oh my God, you are such a push over." Kim laughed out loud as she and Quinn sat in the assistant's office, reclined in their chairs and feet kicked up on the desk as they ate their lunch and killed time until Quinn's phone interview. "How many words of protest did you even get in before you caved?"

"That's not the point." The blonde called out in her defense, trying to hide her smile. She and Kim's sisterly bond had only grown over time. Their relationship was unique in the photographer's world. She still didn't open herself up to too many people and each one tended to come with that extra baggage. Adrianne was the ex and always would be the ex, knowing her better than almost anyone from a time in her life that others had missed. Rachel was her wife and held the power that came with it. Santana was Santana, normally showing her interest in a topic by ridiculing or making fun of her. But with Kim, it was different. They were able to form a sort of untainted bond.

"And what is the point then? Hmm?"

"The point is," She trailed off and ate another bit of her salad. "The point is..."

"You don't have one, do you?" The assistant asked bursting into laughter as Quinn continued to think on an excuse while fighting the deepening blush on her face. "You're a push over. You've admitted it before, why can't you just do it now?"

"Maybe I don't want to. Maybe, I want to-"

"To have a backbone now that your wife's not here to take it from you?"

Quinn dropped the defiant act and hung her head as she smiled in her embarrassment. She loved Rachel and would give her anything she wanted and she also loved her enough to take the harassment that came with it. "Something like that." She confessed before returning to her lunch. "But what about you? Are you saying that Adrianne doesn't give you everything you want?"

Kim tilted her head and looked at the ceiling in playful deliberation. "I don't recall ever saying anything like that."

"Exactly. She spoils you just as much as I spoil Rachel. So why are you picking on me for it?"

"Because I can. You make it easy."

"Only because I like you." The blonde informed her, pointing her fork at the brunette and narrowing her eyes, silently warning her not to push it. "So, the question of the hour is... are you going to be able to handle Adrianne while I'm gone for two weeks? I mean, we know that in a personal sense she gives you everything. But we also know that in a professional setting, you two tend to butt heads a lot. Without me here to separate you..."

Kim smiled lightly and nodded her head. She and Adrianne had a very different way of approaching things in the office. Kim was all about detail and control while Adrianne tended to get an idea and run with it, completely abandoning the process her wife had set in place. Quinn did the same thing because lets face it, you can't schedule out creativity. The difference was that the blonde pulled Kim into the process, telling her what was changing and letting the assistant adapt. Adrianne developed tunnel vision that wouldn't dissipate until the mission was complete.

"I know we do. But we will manage and not tear the studio down or end up getting divorced because of two weeks. I promise you. I will handle Adrianne and your studio, but you have to get Rachel to handle Santana and Russell."

The blonde groaned and dropped her head backwards. "What is he doing to her now?" Adrianne wasn't the only silent partner in Santana's New York restaurant endeavor. Russell had opted to invest as well and expected to retire as soon as it took off. However, Santana had hit a few snags. Between the renovation of the building which became more and more complicated and more and more costly as time went, delaying the grand opening, and issues with the restaurant management in Ohio, things had become strained. Adrianne had given her blessing and money and then took her role as a friend but Russell... well, Russell didn't quiet understand the 'silent' aspect of the partnership.

"He's bugging the hell out of her, giving her business tips and being all... fatherly about guiding her through the business world."

Quinn sighed and began eating her salad. "We need to get that man a hobby before she does kill him. But I'll put Mom and Rachel on Russell watch so you wont have to worry about homicide charges or any more 2 am rants from an irate Santana who can't sleep until she vents."

"Much appreciated."

"But Rachel is already pushing her luck with her." The blonde continued, deflating her assistant's hopes of an easy fix. "These surprises of potential dates are getting to San but I've already talked to her about it. That doesn't mean that Santana is going to believe it will ever stop though, so she's going to be on edge around everyone it seems."

"And now you're abandoning her too." Kim teased and received a guilty groan of torture from her boss who set her plate down and began pacing nervously around the office. "Hey... Hey." The brunette called out, finally pulling Quinn's eyes to hers. "It's two weeks, not a life time. You can handle it. Maybe you'll all be able to go next time. Okay? So, how are you going to tell the boys?"

~/~/~/~

"Oh, good. You're home. Come here." Rachel called out quietly as soon as Quinn stepped out of the elevator. The brunette rushed from her sitting area by the kitchen to her confused wife, pulling the blonde to the far corner of the living room and glancing towards the boy's bedroom. "I messed up."

"You messed up?" She echoed back before putting on a light smile. "I'm not sure whether or not to be scared because you messed up or shocked because you actually admitted it." Rachel straightened her posture and pulled her bottom lip taunt, unimpressed by her wife's chosen time to tease her. "I'm sorry. What is wrong?"

The diva's strong exterior crumbled instantly and she dropped her eyes to the floor. "I was talking with Mom at lunch today and we were discussing you going to London. I didn't think anything of it until Gabe asked who was leaving."

Quinn groaned and leaned back against the wall as Rachel burst into a chant of 'I'm sorry', crushing herself against the blonde in an airtight hug. "Baby, we weren't suppose to mention it around them until we found a way to tell them without them thinking I was walking away from all of you. You know how hard this is on me already."

"It's not all that easy on me either, you know." Rachel argued back, releasing Quinn and standing up in a defiant stance. "You are going off to have an experience you've always been wanting, and while I want you to have it, I hate the idea of you doing it without me. I'm also having to take care of the kids on my own while you're gone to see a new part of the world. It's not all fun for me."

"Then I wont go."

"Quinn, you're going. I just..." Rachel lifted her hands to her head and attempted to control her emotions. There was a lot more to this on both sides. It wasn't simply spending two weeks out of each other's arms. Three kids was a handful for the two of them and now Rachel was going to be doing it all on her own while also dealing with the children's response to Quinn's absence. The media would have a field day with it for sure and would be following her around if she wasn't barricaded in the house. On top of that, she had a teenager that would still be adjusting to living in a huge city that she would have to worry about. Beth very much had that indestructible Corcoran attitude still. There was a lot there making her want to hold Quinn back, needing her rock to stay with her, but she knew that was all selfish. This was Quinn's time. "I want you to go because you need to go and because deep down inside you want to go as well."

To a point that was correct. Quinn was simply still debating if the experience was really worth it all. Rachel knew it was going to be hard on her wife to leave everyone, but she didn't understand how hard it was going to be to stay gone after she did. She had grown accustom to not only having Rachel at her side everyday since she got pregnant with Maddy nearly two years ago, but the boys were always there, Adrianne, Kim, Santana, her parents. She was leaving everyone and would be on her own for the first time in a long time. The last time she was completely alone with out any friends or family was accompanied by a string of one night stands to kill the loneliness that reminder her so much of when she left Lima behind. She didn't want to feel that way again. Empty and isolated.

"What did you tell him when he asked?" She questioned, not wanting to continue the seemingly always escalating arguments about whether or not she was going. She hated fighting with Rachel and would give in for no other reason than to avoid it.

"I told him we would discuss it when you got home. That's why I grabbed you before he could see you. I'm sorry. Normally it's only Julian that actually listens and he never says anything."

"It's not exactly something I would have liked him to be silently dwelling on though." Quinn noted, looking over the smaller woman's shoulder to the boys room, trying to figure out how to put it so they would understand. She couldn't help but think that maybe they were making a much bigger deal out of this than they needed to and the boys would be fine with it. Quinn let out on more quick breath and decided she might as well get it over with. "Boys, can you come here, please?"

Rachel stepped back and moved to the couch as the twins raced out to the living room and tackled Quinn in their normal daily hug, each getting a leg as she ran her hands through their brown hair.

"We have some talking to do." She told them and nodded her head to the couch for them to sit down, surprised already that Gabe hadn't bombarded her with a million questions. "So, Mama said that you know I'm having to leave for work, right?" She asked, kneeling on the ground between the boys while Rachel sat next to Julian, expecting him to be the most effected, and watched Quinn's face. She could see the reluctance in her eyes.

"Right." Gabe answered back with an quick nod of his head. "You're goin' far away."

Hearing it from her son's mouth only made Quinn hate the thought of it even more. "I am. But only for a little while."

"When will you be back?" Julian asked softly, leaning back into Rachel but looking deep into Quinn's matching hazel eyes.

The blonde tried to force a smile but it wasn't sticking. "Two weeks. You remember how long Grandma and Grandpa Russell were gone on their trip?" Julian nodded his head and dropped his eyes, playing with Rachel's hand in his. "That's how long I'll be gone. But then I'm coming right back, okay?"

Gabe nodded his head with the same energy as before, either unaffected or not understanding completely. But Julian wouldn't look up at her anymore.

"Hey." She called out lightly, wiggling his foot to get his attention but he still wouldn't look at her. "Julian, look at me. It's only for a little while and then I'm coming right back, okay?" This time he nodded his head but kept his eyes fixed on Rachel's hand.

The diva was on the verge of tears when she saw the pain in her wife's eyes and knew Julian was feeling the same. The pair really were so much alike and Rachel had started to fear that Julian would end up more like the younger version of Quinn she knew instead of the older one, holding in all of his emotions instead of dealing with them. "Why don't you two go clean up your toys and then we can go to the park. And by cleaning up your toys, I mean putting them away where they belong, not pushing them under your bed, Gabriel James."

The boys got down off the sofa and left to do as they were told, sulking on their way, but left the two women alone together. As soon as Quinn heard the clanking of plastic on the other end of the apartment, she rested her head on Rachel's lap and let the brunette run her fingers through her hair, taking away the pain. She knew that this first separation would have to happen eventually. She just still hated being seen as the bad guy. Things were going to be just as interesting when Rachel went back to the theater soon. The twins didn't have any memories from when she had worked before getting pregnant with Maddy, so not having her around every night to tuck them in would be an adjustment as well.

"He understands." Rachel assured her, pulling the blonde tresses away from her face. "He just isn't use to it. They have been lucky with one of us always being around. Either me at home or them with you in the studio." She trailed off as Quinn took in a deep breath and lifted her head. Rachel brought her hands from the photographer's hair to cup her face on each side, holding her there as she leaned forward and gently kissed her lips. "It's hard on everyone but it only has to be dealt with once."

"Just wait until it's your turn." Quinn whined, standing up and pulling Rachel with her. "How do you think it's going to feel when you aren't there to kiss them goodnight anymore?"

Rachel wrapped her arms around her wife's torso pressed her temple to her shoulder, taking in that calm safeness again. "I don't want to think about it to be honest. It's making me want to reconsider going back to the stage."

"And it's making me reconsider the offer to fly to London."

The pair stood there in silence, holding each other closer. It was amazing how little things like tucking their children in at night would cause them to abandon dreams they had held their whole lives without much debate. It was a touching and sentimental thought, but perhaps a little over done. Rachel needed to start working again and Quinn needed to take the opportunity if they were going to be able to afford the larger house they needed and give the boys and Maddy everything they needed. "You know," Rachel started, turning her head to face into Quinn, resting her forehead in the crook of her wife's neck. "Someone should have told us this parenting thing was this hard."

Quinn smiled, wrapping her arms a little tighter around the brunette's shoulders and rocking side to side. "I think someone might have tried, we just didn't feel like listening to them that day."

"I always listen. I don't know what you are talking about."

"Of course. How could I forget. Let me rephrase that. Perhaps that was one of the days that I was distracting you and the warning went unheard. Is that better?"

"That sounds much better, though it does bring up a very important fact. You are very distracting. So when you're in London and free to do what you please, please don't distract any attractive women who don't understand what a wedding band really means, okay?"

The blonde rolled her eyes but smiled before kissing the shorter woman on the top of the head. "I wont have the time. I'm going to be on the phone with you the whole time. If they get pushy, I'll just hand them my cell for you to explain it to them."

"Oh, I like that."

"Oh, I thought you might. And you know what?"

"Hmm?" The diva asked softly, nearly falling asleep standing there in her lover's arms from the comfort they brought.

"I think I like that thought too. You're sexy as hell when you're jealous. And I bet you're pretty good at phone sex."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Alright. I know it's a day late but it is here. I don't know if the next chapter will be posted on Thursday or not but I can at least promise you two chapters a week posted around the same days. But anyway... wow. You all are still pouring in with the reviews and the messages. I love it and it's keeping me going. I don't feel like I have lost my knack anymore. But on to the story.**

**This chapter is setting the mood for a few things that have happened since the end of BWYDT and is dragging Santana into the story as well. But it is mostly all Faberry. Next chapter will be after a little time jump to around the time Beth comes. We are jumping into the action with that one. I have lots of fluff and funny things planned as well as those deep moments and some more emotional moments. It's all going to be there.**

**Anyway, thank you all for reading and reviewing. And I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"We had a budget planned, Rachel." Quinn said from her spot seated Indian style in the middle of their bed. Her elbows were braced on her knees with her chin resting comfortably on one hand as she squinted her eyes behind her glasses and studied the new house Rachel had wanted to buy. "It's out of our price range."

"Not by much." The diva explained as she appeared from the bathroom wrapped in her towel and wringing her wet hair dry with another. "It's a little bit more than what we want to spend but it has the park that we hadn't thought about when we set our limit."

"And a park is worth another fifty-thousand to you?"

"Yes." Quinn raised her eyes to study her wife's face over the rim of her glasses. Rachel was serious. "This could be the house we live in when our grandchildren come to visit. That park has a multi-generational purpose."

The blonde paused for a second before suddenly changing positions and leaning her weight back slightly, pressing her palms to the mattress behind her. "I'm not sure how to respond to that. On one hand I am left wanting to smile because I had never once thought of us as grandparents seeing as the boys are only four. But on the other hand, I'm not ready to hear it because I'm only thirty-three for crying out loud."

Rachel stopped drying her hair and scrunched her face up as she looked at the other woman seriously. "Are you really that old?" Quinn's jaw dropped and she scoffed while Rachel burst into a smile and a giggle before abandoning her hair drying and leaning into the bed to give a kiss of apology.

Quinn wasn't having it and leaned away. "No. I don't want your kisses. Not after that."

"Quinn Fabray!"

"You called me old! And I'm only a few months older than you."

"I know that." The diva confessed, still smiling and still leaning into the bed on her hands, waiting for her kiss. "But that just means you will always be older than me." The blonde turned back with an arched eyebrow in shock that her wife had called her old yet again and Rachel planted a kiss on her lips.

"No." She playfully refused, pulling away again, but Rachel followed, giggling as she tried to pull Quinn back to her. "I don't want your kisses. I may suck away your youth and leave you old and wrinkly just like me."

"Shut up and kiss me already." Rachel demanded through her laughter as she straddled the blonde's waist and fought with her to remove her hands that were plastered over her face. "Fine!" The brunette called out in defeat, releasing her hands. Quinn peeked through her fingers to read the expression on the diva's face. She was still playing. "I know how to get your kisses."

"Yeah? And how is that?" Rachel arched an eye brow and undid the towel wrapped around her chest and threw it across the room, leaving her naked for Quinn's enjoyment. The blonde's hands instantly fell from her face as she took in the sight of still slightly damp tan skin in front of her. "That works."

Rachel smirked in victory as Quinn ran her hands up her thighs while the brunette placed hers on each side of the photographer's head, inching closer and closer. The stare between them set the room on fire. Quinn's hands came to a rest on the smaller woman's hips when their lips first touched, sending electricity throughout her body. She never felt as much as she did with Rachel. Every sensation was new or more intense. Each caress of her lips pulled the breath from her lungs and made her heart try to beat out of her chest and into her wife's.

She also never felt as willing to completely give in to someone as she did Rachel, allowing her to remove the blonde's hands from her hips and pin them to the mattress by her head as she moved her slow kisses over Quinn's jaw line, teasing each inch. The submissive woman's eyes were lightly closed as she took in the feeling of each soft connection of her lover's perfect lips gently trailing down, down to her neck which she turned willingly, granting the diva more access.

Rachel wanted to say that she was thankful that Judy had the kids today and had come to pick them up early but she couldn't bring herself to stop what she was doing, being hypnotized by each jerking breath from the woman beneath her. Each vocalized inhalation of air. Each arch of her back, lifting her body into the brunette's and begging for more of her touch. It was intoxicating. Then the front door buzzed, ringing through the apartment.

"Ignore it." Quinn pleaded and Rachel obeyed, moving her open mouthed kisses further down the column of her neck, lightly sucking on the sensitive skin with each one. The bell buzzed again but still neither of them halted what they were doing. The only sign that they even heard it was Quinn's furrowed brow, trying to focus her mind on what her wife was doing, not at who could be at their door.

After a few seconds of silence Quinn relaxed back down and settled in to a slow rhythm of rocking her hips upward into the diva until the brunette sat back up and growled as the door bell buzzed in an annoying and continuous rhythm. "I'm going to kill her."

"Not if I get to her first." Quinn warned as Rachel rolled off of her and pouted her way back to the bathroom to finish getting ready while the blonde fumed on her way to the still buzzing door. She was so worked up that she didn't even bother with the elevator and stomped her way down the three flights of stairs. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to have sex when you have children?" She asked as she opened the door and a slightly amused Santana walked into the building and the followed the still ranting photographer into the elevator. "It's nearly impossible. I'm not talking about those quickies while everyone is napping or when you're having to keep everything restrained. I'm talking about how hard it is to have full out whatever the fuck you feel like sex?"

Santana's smirk only grew larger and a small vibration of her shoulders finally gave way to a little chuckle as the frustrated blonde let out a huff of breath and ran her hands through her hair. "Did you get it out of your system there, Q?"

"Shut up."

"I can walk around the block a few times if you need it? Give you a bit more time."

"Shut up, Santana."

The grinning Latina raised her hand in innocence. "I'm just trying to help you out here. How was I suppose to know you and Rachel were getting it on? I mean, someone might as well because Lord knows I'm not. Between the restaurant and your father, I have no energy left." She confessed dropping her smile as she followed Quinn out of the elevator and over to the couch where she collapsed exhaustively. "And that's just damn sad."

"Well I do have the energy. And I _had _the opportunity."

"Then why did you answer the damn door?" Santana asked plainly, not seeing how she had done anything wrong. And judging by the pout Quinn had on her face as she slouched back into the chair across from her friend, she didn't have an argument in rebuttal.

"Just wait until you have a kid, or adopt, or whatever it is you are doing. Then I will be banging on your apartment door all the time."

"Do it. It's so much hotter when you know someone is watching or can hear."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "You're gross."

"This better be good, Santana." Rachel warned as she also stomped her way down the stairs. The Latina took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. The action caught the couple off guard. It meant stress, and the kind of stress that Santana couldn't yell at someone else to take care of for her. Rachel stopped just behind Quinn's chair, resting her hands on her hips as she studied their friend. "What's wrong?"

Santana leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and rubbing her hands together as she fought to find the right words. "I need... some help."

"What do you need?" The blonde asked with a dropped brow, caught off guard again by the unusual statement falling from her old friend's lips.

"Oh, I don't know... about five thousand dollars."

"What's going on? Did you run out of money for the restaurant? What about Adrianne and Russell?"

"Will you breathe, woman?" Santana asked, cutting off Rachel's rushed list of questions before dropping her head again. "I just... I'm a little short for a few loose bills and rent until the restaurant opens in two weeks. I can pay you back right after. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't have any other options. I mean, it wasn't this difficult to start up in Ohio. But now it's one thing after another, after another between both restaurants. I've finally got everything in place and on schedule but I've had to clean myself out to do it."

Rachel mashed her lips between her teeth and lowered the volume of her voice. "Have you talked to Adrianne or-"

The Latina sat up straight, shaking her head. "No. Absolutely not. I'm not dealing with Russell and Adrianne and Kim have enough going on and additional expenses trying to have another kid. I'm not even wanting them to know about this."

"San? San," Quinn called out, sitting up in her chair as Rachel took a step forward as well but stopped, not wanting to make Santana feel the intensity of their concern, knowing it would only make her feel worse for asking. "It wont be a problem."

"Are you sure? I mean, I will pay it back as soon as I can. I know you two are trying to buy a new house and everything, but-"

"Santana. It's okay. We can do that. It's not a problem. I have some people interested in buying some prints and it wont be an issue. I can write you a check now." Quinn explained standing up and leaving the room to find her purse. Rachel watched as her wife walked up the stairs, wondering why the blonde was giving her such a hard time about the additional costs of the house she wanted if it was just that simple to come up with thousands of dollars.

Once Quinn returned, the Latina had given each a quick hug and brief eye contact before nodding her head in appreciation and leaving the apartment with a sigh of relief. The couple left standing inside stayed in an awkward silence. Quinn could tell Rachel was tense about something and was simply waiting for her to tell her what it was. The diva walked over to her with her arms crossed over her chest.

"It's that easy to come up with an extra five thousand dollars?"

The blonde looked at her funny. "No. But were you going to turn her down?"

The angered facade instantly crumbled and the brunette slouched forward into her wife's arms. In the grand picture, the park wasn't as big of a deal as helping a friend in need. "Of course not. I was just a little thrown after you said no to the park because of money yet wrote a check without even trying to find out if we had the money to give."

Quinn huffed a little laugh, causing the brunette to lift her head and look at her in confusion. "Do you really think that I would refuse you something that you want without exhausting every single possibility of securing it for you first?" Rachel dropped her brow, trying to figure out what Quinn was talking about exactly. "I never told you that we couldn't have the house by the park. I said that we had a budget and asked if the park was worth the extra money. You're doing the reading thing again."

"I-" Rachel nearly began to protest but the growing grin on the blonde's face made her stop and try to hide her own. This was part of their marriage that brought some stress with it. They had now known each other for so long, with each other day and night, that they began to assume things without even thinking to get it clarified. Most of the time they were right but sometimes, almost all on Rachel's behalf, things didn't work out as smoothly. "I just thought that since you were worried about money and this house would cost more..."

"You know what they say about people who assume, don't you?"

"Don't push it, Fabray." Rachel warned as she playfully pushed away from her wife and moved to the stairs, knowing Quinn was watching her ass as she climbed them. "Or else I wont finish what I started before Santana got here."

"Your threats are empty. I know that for a fact. No assuming about it."

~/~/~/~

"Let me in." Rachel stated, laying on her side with the thin white sheet pulled up to cover her bare chest as her eyes ran over the profile of her wife's face. The blonde's hazel eyes were tracing patterns on their ceiling as her mind raced away like it always seemed to. "What are you thinking about?"

"Beth... Santana... Kim. Everything."

The brunette scooted closer, kissing Quinn's shoulder before pressing temple to it. "I know there is a lot going on." More that they hadn't even begun discussing seriously. Like what about when Rachel really was going to go back to the stage or when the soon to be retiring Berry men would make their journey up to New York as well. It was life. One thing after another after another. But right now as they laid together in bed and the diva lightly traced the edge where the sheet stopped under her wife's collar bone, nothing felt overwhelming. It was all there, but it was halted for a brief second in time. "What are you thinking about exactly?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes at the ceiling and took in a deep breath, letting it out between pursed lips before she began. "With Kim, it's the obvious. It's one of those things of wanting someone to have what they want as soon as possible and with as little complication as necessary." Rachel silently nodded her head in response, feeling the same. "And Adrianne nearly had a heart attack when I asked her about your suggestion of putting the boys in daycare. She said it would crush Kim."

"Okay, then we wont do that. I just thought the limiting of stress would help prevent any future miscarriages."

The blonde placed a hand on top her wife's and lifted it up to her lips, kissing it gently before returning it to her chest. It was all bringing up memories of the pain they had experienced with Rachel's complications and while Quinn felt horrible, absolutely horrible, that Kim and Adrianne were having to go through this. She was forever grateful it wasn't Rachel again. "I know. But you have to remember something I had forgotten myself. Kim loves stress. She feeds off of it and is comfortable in it. It is her home away from home." She concluded with a more playful tone, attempting to lighten the mood. It worked as Rachel found herself with a light smile on her lips. She was so easily influenced by her lover's moods that she didn't even question it anymore.

"And Santana?"  
>"Santana will be fine." The photographer stated with certainty as she shifted, raising her arm and causing Rachel to sit up briefly so she could hold the diva as they laid there. Once they were settled and Quinn was getting that extra skin connection from her fingers running up and down Rachel's side, she continued. "I know that nothing is going the way it was suppose to with the restaurant and she's a bit overwhelmed right now, but I know that it is all going to fall into place shortly. I'm just not use to seeing her look so..."<p>

"...defeated?"

"No." She replied with a light shake of her head. "She's not at all defeated. Santana Lopez knows no such word when directed at her. She's just more... tired. She's not running full speed and pushing people out of the way, you know?"

It was true. Santana had never been one to simply deal with what had been given to her but was more of the type to shove it to the side until she got what she wanted. Now it was as if she was playing cautiously, inching forward with everything. "Why do you think that is?"

Quinn raised her brow as she took in a long, deep breath. "I don't know. I really don't. I was going to talk to her this weekend but Adrianne wanted to go over some contracts with me and-"

"I'll talk to her." Rachel cut her off, raising up on her elbow so she could look into the blonde's eyes. "I am more than capable to providing a comforting environment and coaxing her enough to talk to me." Quinn arched an eyebrow and smirked. "And I wont mention dating. I promise."

"That's what I was more worried about."

"I wont. There is a time and a place for everything, you know." Rachel mumbled as she returned her head to her wife's shoulder and Quinn smiled lovingly. Rachel had always been and will always be absolutely adorable to her. Especially when she doesn't get her way. "What are you thinking about with Beth?"

The smile on Quinn's lips slowly faded. "I'm scared."

Every time Rachel heard that confession from the photographer's lips, she was hit with two emotions. Fear herself because Quinn was hardly ever scared of anything, always pushing through to the other side without issue. But she also felt oddly special. Because this was Quinn Fabray openly confessing something she used to hide at all costs. And it was only being told to her. "What are you scared of?"

Rachel's question had been low and soft, allowing Quinn's mind to wander and piece together her thoughts. "I just... I'm not sure what to expect. We've never had her around for an extended period of time and never without Shelby having immediate control over her. I'm just not sure where that is going to lead us. Like, what she's going to call me. She doesn't actually call me anything. She just gets my attention. She doesn't call me Mom or Quinn. Just 'hey'. And what authority would I actually have over her. I mean, she's going to be only seventeen and living in our house so there is something there, but I'm not her mom." The brunette's brow dropped at the comment. "I'm her mother. There is a difference."

"Trust me when I say I know that." And Rachel really did. As the years went by Shelby had stayed simply the 'mother' in her life while Judy had completely engulfed the 'mom' role. It worked and Rachel loved it, but there was still those few hurt feelings lingering in the background. Nothing that was constantly present, but could be struck every now and then.

"I know you do and I'm oddly thankful for that because I have a feeling you are going to be called on for your experience in that one. But, I don't know. I guess I'm just nervous as to how this is all going to work out. Is she going to love it or is she going to hate it? Is she going to be Puck in personality or is that just the occasional flare up like it seems..." She paused and scrunched her brow in silent deliberation. "...are we ready to deal with a teenager?"

Rachel shifted slightly as she actually thought about that question for the first time. Her mind raced back to when she and Quinn were seventeen. She instantly started shaking her head at the memories. "She wont be that bad. I mean, we were a bit dramatic at seventeen but we fed off of each other."

"And you don't think there is drama in an environment of five lesbians, two of which have previously dated, three of which have known each other for over twenty years, one of which is her sister that doubles as her step-mother type thing."

"This isn't completely new to her, Quinn."

"I know that." She stated, relaxing her now tense shoulders. Rachel was right. Beth knew how they worked. "I know that. But, those were just visits. I guess... I guess I'm just realizing that while I know her, I don't really know her."

Rachel was confused and scrunched her face up tightly, more lost now than before. She was use to her wife having flowing, eloquent sentences to express her thoughts. Not this jumbled collection of contradictions. "What do you mean you don't really know her?"

"I mean, I know what she likes to do. Her hobbies and stuff because we take her out and incorporate that into her visits here." Quinn explained. "But I'm talking about things like, what time does she normally wake up. How does she like her eggs cooked. What makes her feel better when she's sick. I don't know these things and I just feel like I've missed out on too much..." The blonde trailed off and froze as Rachel raised up on her elbow again and glared down coldly at her wife. Quinn wanted to ask what was wrong but she was honestly too afraid to so she waited.

"Don't you dare become my mother."

"Whoa, what? How am I-"

"She realized she didn't know those things and that's when she pushed away, never trying for the close relationship with me because she had missed out on everything."

Quinn shook her head in a panic as she saw the emotion rising in Rachel's eyes. "No. No, Baby. I'm not going to push away from her. I would never. I'm just feeling like I missed out on picking these things up in the time she has been in our lives. That's all."

Rachel's expression didn't change. The seriousness was apparent on her face. "Just promise me that no matter how awkward you may feel, you wont pull away from her."

Quinn looked deeply into the brunette's eyes, once again being reminded of just how deeply Shelby had hurt her. It killed Quinn. It killed her more now that Rachel feared she would do the same. "I promise you. I'm not pulling away from her. Ever. I'm just nervous and unsure."

The diva's eyes softened and she gently mashed her lips between her teeth in shame, knowing better than to think Quinn would ever walk away from Beth. It wasn't in the blonde's nature to be cruel. "I know. I'm sorry." She apologized before leaning down and kissing her wife gently and snuggling back up to her, pressing her forehead into the crook of her neck and holding her closer than before. "I guess I've just gotten to be really protective."

The blonde smiled and returned her fingers to their slow strokes up and down Rachel's side. "You've always been protective. It just comes out more because you're a mother now."

The diva smiled broadly at the reminder of their children. "It's the mommy in me."

"That it is... that it is." Quinn replied absently, tilting her head and kissing the top of Rachel's. "So... we're going to be grandparents one day."

"Shh... Don't talk about that yet. I'm not that old."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, so again, a day late and even posted late in the day. But it is the second one this week so I am technically on schedule. But we are jumping into the Beth addition to the family. Nothing overly deep yet. Just something to highlight their situation in a more realistic manner. That is what I am changing about the verse with the sequel. I am wanting it to be a bit more realistic. There will be plenty of fluff though. Don't you worry. I will still keep it a good balance of everything.**

**But keep the suggestions coming. Things you would like to see happen, people you would like to see interact. Also, topics you would like to have discussed. I will gladly see what I can work in there for you. And Again, I love it when you start suggesting things you really want to see and they match up perfectly with things I already have planned. It's a wonderful feeling.**

**Okay, so I'm going to stop rambling now and let you get to the chapter. But thank you everyone for reading and especially those of you who review. It is motivation like no other. Thank you and enjoy.**

**Oh, not edited. Sorry.**

**~/~/~/~**

"Quinn! She's here." Rachel called out as she stood on her tip toes to lean over the stack of boxed in their new living room, trying to peer out of the front window as she saw Beth pull up in her car. She waited and waited as the sound of her wife's descending footsteps grew louder. The blonde had just taken another box up to their bedroom on the third floor and now seemed to be taking forever to get back down. If nothing else, this new house was going to keep them in shape.

Finally, Quinn stepped off the last stair and gave an exhausted sigh to her smiling wife before starting once again out the front door and down their five steps.

"Holy crap. It's huge." Beth stated as she stepped out of her packed car in front of Rachel and Quinn's new home and took off her sunglasses to look up at the towering building. Not only had Beth arrived after the long car ride from Lima to move in with the family, but the family was also moving out of their apartment as well. It was best that way, or so Quinn had thought. That way it was their house as a whole. Not hers and Rachel's and Beth was just coming to live in it for a while. They would all be there from day one, as a family.

"It's what we needed... or so Rachel says." Quinn explained, looking up to the three story, brick faced town home as she came to a stop next to her awestruck daughter.

"How many bedrooms?"

"Four."

"Bathrooms?"

"Five."

Beth dropped her brow and looked at her mother. "Why are there more bathrooms than bedrooms?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "Beats the hell out of me."

"Alright... next question. Which room is mine?"

"How about I get a hug first?"

Beth looked at her funny, momentarily stunned. "Did I not do that already?" Quinn shook her head. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry." She embraced her mother warmly, pulling her closer by the arms around her neck. "I was so overwhelmed by the mansion you bought. I'm such a horrible daughter."

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far." The blonde said lightly with a smile, just loving the feeling of her eldest child being in her arms again. They hadn't seen each other for almost a year now since Beth had been so focused on school and preparing for the move. Quinn was hoping this time they could really let their relationship bloom.

"That's because you're nice."

Quinn smiled as they separated, running her hand over her daughter's hair, never getting enough of her. "No, that's because I'm your mother."

"And there's no denying that." Rachel stated, pulling both blonde's attention to her as she walked out of the house and down the stairs with open arms, demanding her hug. "You two look identical. You always have, but so much more now that you're getting older." She said, wrapping her arms around Beth's neck. She couldn't help but think of how strange it was to be hugged by Quinn at the age of seventeen while she looked at the thirty-three year old version of her as she did it. The only difference was the hair, with Beth's being slightly darker. "If I call you Quinn, I apologize ahead of time."

"I wont take_ much _offense to it."

"Smart ass." Quinn chimed behind her, earning the smirk Beth inherited from Puck over her shoulder. "So, how about we show you your room and then we will work on getting some of your stuff into the house. It's already filled with boxes so you wont get the full picture of it yet."

"That's okay. All I care about right now is finding my room and setting up my bed. It was a long, _long_ drive and I need my beauty sleep. Otherwise I get cranky."

"Dear God, save us all. We have another Fabray." Rachel remarked as she followed the blonde duo into the house.

"Okay, this is just surreal." Beth chimed as she walked into the foyer and looked up the stairwell in front of her. A long hallway ran parallel to the stairs, meeting each of the three conjoined rooms on the left. The living room was the front room, still bare with boxes piled high along the walls and by the white stone mantle fireplace. Behind that was the large kitchen, more than big enough to now house their bustling family of six in the morning. Even with the large island in the middle of the kitchen, there was still plenty of space for breakfast table without the area being crowded while dark wooden cabinets ran along the walls, flawlessly encasing the biggest refrigerator Beth had ever seen. "Absolutely unreal. I mean, coming to visit you for a week or two a year was pretty cool. But now that I'm moving in with you, I just can't believe that this is where I'm staying."

"Living." Quinn corrected her quickly, but dropped her voice, softening it. "You aren't just staying with us like a prolonged visit. You are living here, as family."

Beth turned around and met her mother's eyes with a smile. Shelby raised her and would always be her mother in her eyes. She knew no other. But there had always been that strong, silent bond between herself and Quinn. The bond that made her want to run to the other woman and just have her hold her for awhile. It was this odd sense of home away from the home she had always known but at the same time, she still felt a loyalty to the woman who raised her. "So, show me my new home?"

Rachel nearly bounced in excitement as she took over tour duties. "Okay. Well, the dinning room is the only other room on this level. The top floor is the master bedroom in the back and Quinn's office is in the front. The second floor has the boys in the back bedroom and Maddy in the front. However," The diva stopped at the rear of the stair way, the one leading down into the basement, and turned in a dramatic fashion that left both Beth and the trailing photographer to smile in adoration. "Quinn and I talked a lot about where we you would feel most comfortable. We originally thought about putting Quinn's office in the basement and you up on the floor with the boys. You are part of this family and we want you right there with us. But the longer we got to talking about it, it just didn't seem like a practical thing."

"You would have been having to share a bathroom with the twins." Quinn added softly, leaning against the wall behind her daughter who turned to look at her as she continued to explain. "It's hard enough getting them both in and out of there, we didn't want you to have to struggle with it as well. We also figured that you not only living with us every day but working at the studio too would want you to have more of your own space to retreat to." Beth closed her eyes lightly and smiled, having thought about the same thing.

"See, this is the bonus of you two being so much alike." The diva interrupted calling for them to follow her down to the basement. "I figured since Quinn is so in need of her space that you more than likely would be too. Especially coming from a house where you are the only child and into one with three other kids."

Beth huffed a bit of a laugh. "And going from a house with a workaholic mother to one where everyone related and not related is involved." The comment struck both older women a little funny and they exchanged quick glaces, knowing instantly they were both thinking the same thing. Shelby had given Beth everything while growing up, perhaps she had drifted from the younger blonde when she became a teenager, thinking she didn't need her anymore than Rachel had at the time they first met.

"Yes, well, you will pretty much always have someone around." Rachel continued, trying to keep her tone as peppy as she could manage as they moved away from the stairs and into the main part of the basement. It was your typical basement but was brightened up by light colored paint on the walls and plenty of track lighting along the ceiling. The bedroom was in the front of the house and was much spacious than the others, nearly as large as the master bedroom with a few windows high on the front wall that looked onto the sidewalk. "That is why we decided to give you the room down here. You will have your own bathroom too. It's like your own little retreat from the chaos."

"But we don't want you to feel like you aren't part of the family either." Quinn explained quickly as she waited in the doorway as Beth turned in circles, looking at her new room. "We just thought you might want some space from it every now and then while you adjust." The blonde's nerves lessened as she saw the faint smile on her daughter's face grow larger.

"I like it." She admitted. "It's my own space for when I need it but I still see myself being upstairs most of the time. You know, with the family."

Quinn smiled a little deep as she approached her daughter and moved her dirty blonde hair behind her shoulders. "With your family."

~/~/~/~

Scurrying footsteps could be heard long before the boys were seen as they ran blindly through the new house, looking around eagerly for the new arrival to their family, followed closely by Kim, Adrianne, and the two girls. Th twins spotted Beth standing against the island in the kitchen along with their mothers and stopped abruptly, looking up at her in awe. It had been a while since they had seen each other and Rachel had been doubtful if they would even remember their older sister. But judging by the smile on Gabriel's face and the confusion on Julian's, they knew she was related... or another version of Quinn.

Both boys took slower steps closer, Julian looking between the blondes in front of him, before Beth knelt down and gave them both a hug. It was different for her this time. She had been around the twins since they were born, even changing a few diapers and feeding them. But it had never been as their sister. It had always been with her as a guest visiting her biological mother who happened to have other kids. But now, knowing that she wouldn't be leaving them again, something had changed. When she saw the hazel eyes looking at her, she saw herself. It was a strange feeling but she felt like she belonged here. That the two four year olds knew her better than people she had spent every day with.

She didn't say anything, unable to say anything, until Adrianne and Kim walked into the kitchen. "Oh my goodness." Beth beamed as she took in the sight of the couple, their daughter, and her... adoptive niece/sister? It didn't matter. She was family. "I don't know who to hug first."

"We will let you get the little ones first." Adrianne suggested as she handed over Madeline from her hip and Kim gently pushed a reluctant Aubrey towards her as well. The three year old was proving to be a bit of a loner and both women were beginning to worry it was because she didn't have a sibling to play with all the time.

Shortly after Kim and Rachel vanished to prepare for nap time while Quinn, Adrianne, and Beth settled down around for some quick catching up to do.

"Okay, so you are finally old enough for me to ask this question without feeling creepy." Adrianne explained as she leaned against the kitchen island across from Beth. "But... gay? Straight? Bi?"

The teenager laughed lightly and dropped her head as she blushed. "I'm straight. Sorry."

The brunette shrugged her shoulders before taking a quick sip of her beer that Quinn had just handed her. "Nothing wrong with being straight. Except for the whole guy thing."

"They're not all bad you know." Beth reassured her with a light smile. She had always known about the four women's relationships, obviously. But the topic was never up for serious discussion until now. Now it was strange yet comforting. It was almost a feeling of being accepted enough as part of the clan to be brought into the grown up talking now. "Some actually do know how to give a woman the proper amount of attention."

Adrianne shook her head. "No they don't."

"Well, some can learn. And I must say I believe myself to be a very good teacher, never accepting anything less than what I know I deserve."

"Now there is a way to go." Quinn stated, feeling a little odd to be discussing relationships with her daughter. She had thought about Beth dating while up here but it had never really sunk in until now. "But I don't know if I agree."

The younger blonde gasped dramatically, clutching her hand to her chest. "I'm living with man haters."

"Lesbians." They responded in unison.

Beth only arched an eyebrow and Adrianne straightened her posture and taking a large swig of her beer. "Now that's just creepy. You two look far too much alike. I don't know if I can handle this. It's weird enough to get flash backs of you when we dated when you do shit like that." The brunette explained, pointing to Quinn and then jerking her head to her daughter. "But having the same flashback from her doing it is just wrong." The woman shook her shoulders at the disturbing nature of the moment and headed towards the door. "I need my wife right now."

The two blondes remaining just closed their eyes and shook there heads before realizing they were doing the same thing. "I always thought you were more like Shelby and Rachel in your mannerism." Quinn confessed, trying to break the nervous yet awkward laughter between them. "When did you become so much like me?"

Beth shrugged, diverting her eyes to the corner of the room. "I guess I grew into it. I mean, don't get me wrong. I still have the Corcran drive and sense of perfection that is sadly never lived up to," Quinn smiled as it began to shine through with the teenager's tone of the over-rehearsed explanation. "But I have become more... aware over the last few years."

The photographer nodded her head absently. "Why is that?"

"Don't know really." It was a simple answer that was finalized with a light smile and a quick meeting of their eyes. Quinn knew there was more to that answer but didn't know what to say. She didn't know Beth's emotional needs or what to say to ease her fears. She had never been around the before. The older blonde nodded once again, remaining silent, as the small panic inside her began to grow. It was like meeting a new person all over again but having that awkwardness there because you should already know them.

"Alright. The children are down. How about we unload Beth's car now?" Rachel chimed in with an exuberant amount of energy as she entered the kitchen and came to a stop next to the teenager, bumping her hip playfully into her. "I'm sure you are more than ready to get settled in a bit?"

"More than you know."

"Alright. Let's go then." Rachel ordered with a few snaps of her fingers and waited as the younger blonde lead the exodus from the kitchen. However the petite woman suddenly stopped, trapping her wife inside still. "Be right out there, Beth." She called out before gently pushing the photographer a few steps backward by the shoulders.

Quinn's brow was dropped in her confusion as her wife glared at her. "I didn't do it."

"Didn't do what exactly?"

"Whatever it is that you are thinking I did. I didn't do it."

She had responded with such certainty that Rachel straightened herself to the full extent of her five foot two inch frame and crossed her arms over her chest. "And if you don't know what it is you think I believe you did, then how do you know you didn't do it?"

"Because I haven't done anything today that you haven't told me to do."

Rachel froze for a second, moving her eyes away from her wife's as she thought back throughout the day and deflated her posture. "You really need to go to London, Baby. You are in such a rut here. Do you even fight with me anymore?"

Quinn arched an eyebrow. "You know, most wives wouldn't complain about having a spouse that didn't start fights."

"You know what I mean. You are so set on doing what I want and what the kids want, do you do anything for you anymore?"

The blonde closed her eyes and shook her head, really not wanting to get into any conversations on the topic of leaving or what it was everyone thought she needed to do. "How did we get from me not doing something that you think I did to me now doing nothing that you didn't want me to do?"

"How on earth are you keeping that question straight?" The diva asked, squeezing her head between her hands. "I wasn't even going to accuse you of anything. I was just wanting to know what that look was for. The one you had when I walked in." She explained further as she dropped her hands and looked back at her wife with concern. "I use to think you were this stone wall of emotion but I can read you so easily now. You two were talking about something that had you concerned."

Quinn smiled lightly and stepped toward her wife, kissing her on her forehead and running her hands down the sides of her arms. "It's nothing big. I'm just thinking that Beth has a lot to talk about once she gets comfortable."

"And it's a little strange yet understandable that she isn't comfortable with us right away?"

"Exactly." Quinn smiled wider, wrapping her arms around her wife and slowly swaying together. "This is another reason why I love you so much. You are always right there on the same page with me. It makes life so much easier."  
>"I wont argue with that." Rachel sighed into the hug she willingly surrendered into. "I wouldn't even want to try."<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay. A few things to hit on. Firstly, this chapter is starting to weed things down just a bit. I have introduced everyone (most everyone) and their lines so I will be getting down to the basics of the story now. It wont seem nearly as cluttered. So no worries there.**

**Secondly, you all amazing in your support so I hope you wont be too upset when I tell you that I am heading out of town starting Wednesday and wont be back for a week. So this will be the only update for this week and there will probably only be one for next week as well. I'm sorry but there is just so much going on that I can't find the time to write anything of any quality.**

**Thirdly... I can't quite remember. I know there was something and it will probably hit me after I post this. But until then, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. Thank you for those who are still letting me know what you would like to see. I believe I will be hitting nearly all of those by the end of this. Oh! Beth. The reason Beth is living with them was briefly discussed in chapter 110 of BWYDT. She graduated early and will be attending college in New York so she has moved in with the Faberry clan so she isn't completely alone and will get some work experience in the studio. **

**So, that was all of it. Thank you again for reading and reviewing. I hope you continue to enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

Rachel dropped her hands to her hips and blew out a quick puff of air, lifting her loose strands of hair out of her eyes as she looked around. "I don't like it there."

"Oh my God, Rachel." Quinn groaned as she collapsed face down on the bed in front of her. "I'm not moving it again."

"Quinn..." Rachel whined with a pouted bottom lip that her wife couldn't see but she could clearly hear and envision.

"No." Was the muffled response

"But, Baby..." The diva cooed again as she stood behind where the blonde had fallen and laid down on top of her, resting her head between Quinn's shoulder blades. This time Quinn didn't respond and Rachel knew she had found her in. The brunette smiled to herself but let it fall from her lips as to not give away the fact she already knew she had won. She needed to pull the photographer in just a little bit more. "There is only one more possible place for us to put our bed. So you will only have to help me move it this one last time."

"Unless you don't like it there and then we have to settle for one of the lesser locations of which you will have to see all of once again to make sure you are settling for the one that doesn't seem too out of place compared to the others."

"Hey." Rachel called out lightly, poking Quinn's side. "You're suppose to be caving in to me right now. Not speaking logically. I thought we had this marriage thing worked out already." She felt the vibrations of the blonde's laugh and smiled, knowing that Quinn was as well, then she let it fade. She settled in to the closeness they had made and their exhaustion from the day of moving allowed them to relax and unwind. Rachel shifted slightly, cuddling closer to her wife. "I love you."

"I love you too. And I will gladly help you move the bed... tomorrow. Deal?"

"Deal."

They laid there for a few more seconds before Quinn lifted her head, looking back over her shoulder to the diva. "This isn't going to work."

"What isn't?" Rachel asked, lifting her head to meet the photographer's eyes and resting her chin on the blonde's back.

"You laying there. I need you up here." She replied, reaching back and grabbing Rachel's hand, guiding her to lay on the mattress next to her. Both women smiled as they wiggled further on to the bed and wrapped each other in their arms. Quinn lightly kissed the tip of Rachel's nose while grazing her thumb over her back while the brunette gently played with the blonde tresses between her fingers.

"Is that better?"

"Much." Quinn mumbled as she nuzzled into her wife's neck, kissing and nipping at it, sending the tiny woman into a fit of giggles as she rolled over on to her back. "Oh, that's even better than before."

Rachel was in the process of rolling her eyes when they suddenly snapped shut as Quinn shifted her leg to rest on the strip of mattress between her thighs. The diva instantly bit down on her bottom lip, trying to keep herself from moaning as the other woman wasted no time in turning their actions from playful to passionate.

"Quinn..." She whispered as she fisted the blonde's hair and rocked up against her pulsing leg, raising her own for the same connection and causing a joint moan of pleasure to fill the room. Rachel could already feel her body temperature rising with each grind of their bodies and each stroke of Quinn's tongue over her slowly bruising skin on her neck. She did manage a quick glance back to the door of their still empty room to make sure it was shut before releasing the blonde tresses and trailing her hands down her wife's back, gathering her shirt in her fingers, and running her nails back up as she pulled the fabric over her head. Quinn didn't miss a step as she reattached her mouth to Rachel's and worked the brunette's blouse and bra off as well.

In just a few days she was going to lose this contact with her wife and gain thousands of miles of distance between them. Between their bodies that molded to each other so perfectly. Between their lips that had memorized the feel and taste of each others'. Between the warm pants of breath and the sensitive skin of her neck. Between the perfect moans as their bodies rock together and her ear that would send her closer and closer to the edge that was already so easy for her lover to get her to.

Even now as Rachel ran her nails down to the small of her back, arching further into her, Quinn was slowly dying a painful death emotionally, knowing that this was going to be one of the few times she would get to be this close to the woman who held her heart for several weeks. She couldn't help but think that life was too short to go a day without being near the ones you love, missing out of their life and love, their passion. But this was the real world, not the fairytale they had created for themselves.

That understanding only fueled her though, deepening each kiss and rock of her hips, needing everything more than before.

"Oh my God, Baby." Rachel whispered as she surrendered to Quinn's desires, tilting her neck and taking the passionate abuse to her skin from the scrapes of her lover's teeth. But her hands busied themselves, moving to massage the blonde's breasts, one in each hand, and loving the sound of breath catching as she tweaked each hardening nipple. She wasn't wanting to lose this either. And as much as she hated to admit it to herself, she was terrified by the thought of Quinn doing this with another woman. It wasn't that she her wife would ever cheat. It was just that fear of not knowing. Because she did know that the blonde would have women all over her without Rachel at her side. Hell, they had both been hit on with the other at her side.

But it was the understanding that she wasn't going to be there to stop any advances herself. It was all about trusting Quinn to do it on her own. "What's wrong?"

Rachel's eyes opened as Quinn slowed her actions and eventually stopped, hovering over her and looking down on her in concern. "Nothing. I'm fine."

The blonde shook her head, moving to rest on her side on the mattress, her hand running along Rachel's arm still. "No you're not. I know you well enough by now to know when your mind isn't in it."

The diva gave a weak smile of guilt before rotating on her side as well and tucking her hands under her chin as she looked up at her wife. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about everything with you leaving. I don't want any other women around you."

"Rachel-"

"I know and I trust you. I just don't trust them to listen."

"And they might not." The blonde agreed with her flatly, causing the diva to furrow her brow. "There is absolutely nothing either of us can do to keep them from flirting with me. Just like there was nothing I could do to keep that one waitress from flirting with you last week. I mean, she knew we were married and even had the kids with us, but she still flirted with you. All I could do was sit back and wait, knowing that you weren't going anywhere."

"But it was completely disrespectful to you and our marriage." Quinn nodded but never responded with words. There was nothing else to say. Just because they were happily married didn't mean others had to respect it. "Just keep that cell phone on you so you can hand it to them. That way I will feel like I'm doing my part in defending what we have against the masses."

"The masses?" Quinn echoed back in amusement. "I don't know where you are getting the idea that I have this presence that just draws women to me like that."

"Uh, because you do."

The blonde arched an eyebrow. "You know what I mean. I can seduce women, yes. But I'm not going to and they don't naturally flock to me like that. So you have no worries. I probably wont make a blip on anyone's radar while I'm over there."

"I highly doubt that." Rachel argued, turning over to face away from her wife in protest.

"Rachel..."

The brunette took in a deep breath and sighed in release before rolling back over. "I'm sorry. I just... you already know all of my fears. And I know you aren't going to let them happen. I just need to vent about it. It is my dramatic flair shining through and demanding it's time in center stage." She assured her. "And you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to spend every night until you leave reminding you of what you will have waiting for you back here at home."

Quinn's eyes widened and then quickly closed as she lost herself in Rachel's aggressiveness that forced her backwards to lay on the mattress. The diva's hands moved steadily, feeling every available inch of skin before dragging straight down the blonde's torso to her jeans. Quinn cupped her face and held her in a deep, passion filled kiss that sucked the wind from her lungs as the button from her pants released and she heard the falling zipper between gasps and pants for breaths. She closed her eyes tightly, feeling the warmth of Rachel's hand flatten against her lower abdomen and snake itself lower, her middle finger grazing it's destination.

"Oh fuck." It was just a whisper but all Rachel needed to hear before settling into a sensual rhythm and losing herself in her wife's moans. It was hypnotic as Rachel lifted herself on her elbow and watched the woman writhe under her touch, seeing the pleasure wash over her face every time she hit the right spot just the right way. Seeing how her chest heaved and her back arched and how she ran her hand through her hair before reaching for the brunette in her need to be closer. "You're all I ever want."

With that confession Rachel surrendered to her own senses as Quinn hooked her fingers behind her neck, pulling her down into a series of desperate kisses and the other hand slipped itself between their sweat covered bodies and into Rachel's underwear. A deep moan of pleasure ripped from the back of her throat and was swallowed up by Quinn's mouth as she worked her fingers to match the diva's pace. All sense of time was lost as they closed their eyes and only used the sound of each other's reactions to determine their actions. Speeding up, slowing down. Each perfectly timed.

In unison their moans grew higher in pitch and volume as they began rocking their hips in time, working off of the friction until they both bucked violently against each other and muffled their cries of pleasure into the others' shoulder. Each time was the same yet felt like the first. The first time they ever held each other while they shook, feeling the other pressed so close against them.

Rachel removed her hand and collapsed down on the blonde's chest and took a few moments to catch her breath, feeling the thundering pounding of her lover's heart. "I think... I think that wasn't... such a good idea."

Quinn smiled with her eyes closed, still reeling herself, as she brushed her hair out of her eyes again. "And why not?... I wont ever forget... what you... can give me."

The diva huffed a laugh and inhaled deeply. "No. But now I will remember what I will be missing."

~/~/~/~

"Good morning."

"Good morning." Rachel greeted from her spot at the kitchen island, unpacking what things she would need to cook the herd breakfast this morning as Beth entered the room. The diva had to do a double take to make sure it was the right blonde when she did. Then again, Quinn never wore those short of shorts to bed. "Did you sleep well?"

The teenager nodded her head with a faint smile, brushing her dirty blonde hair back out of her face before taking a seat on one of the stools lining the island. "Do you need any help this morning?"

"No. I'm good, but thank you. Quinn should be down with the kids in just a second and breakfast will be on the table soon after that." Rachel informed her, pulling the desired pan out of a box before discarding the container on the floor with the others, clearing her off enough space to prepare the meal. "We are having pancakes this morning. Would you like some or do you want something special?"

Beth looked at the beaming brunette across from her and slowly smiled as well. She looked so much like Shelby. But then she dropped her eyes to the counter and scrunched her brow in debate. "Pancakes are wonderful. Thank you. No need to do anything special. I can even cook for you if you want?" Rachel stopped all of her movements suddenly and stared at the younger girl who straightened her posture under the weight of uncertainty she was feeling. "Did... I... say something wrong?"

Rachel slowly shook her head. "No. I'm just not use to having someone offer to cook."

"She doesn't cook?" Beth asked pointing to the empty space behind her, catching Rachel off guard. Quinn was right. She doesn't call her anything in particular. Not 'Quinn' or 'Mom'.

"Quinn can't cook. It's always a disaster."

"Hey." Both women turned to the kitchen entrance where the blonde in question emerged with Madeline on her hip and the boys in tow. "I try at least. And I try on a regular basis. Even took a few classes." Quinn defended herself to her eldest daughter before looking at Rachel who laughed loudly in response. "I did."

"Yes you did." Rachel relented, leaning against the far counter, her palms resting on it's edge as she watched her wife deposit the youngest Fabray into her high chair. "But you were asked not to come back."

Quinn glared lovingly but the brunette was undaunted and the smirk on her face remained, never lessening in it's gloating as the tall blonde approached. "I tried for you, you know."

"I know you did. And it was adorable how much effort you actually put into it." The diva replied as she raised her hands to drape over her wife's shoulders as Quinn's glided gently over the smaller woman's hips. "And it was more adorable every time it came out black or on fire."

There was a grunt of disagreement that escaped just before Quinn leaned down and gently kissed her wife, releasing her lips with a smile and then kissing them again. As they stood there with their foreheads pressed against each other, Rachel's hands cupping her lover's neck for more connection, as they soaked in each other's healing presence, Beth watched silently.

She had seen the couple do this since she had first met them, always thinking it was rather adorable. But again, seeing it now and knowing that this was a daily occurrence, somehow suddenly hit her differently. The action meant more, felt deeper. She had seen couples hug and kiss nearly every day of her life yet this seemed different.

She shook her head and smiled as she redirected her thoughts. "So, not to interrupt this moment of yours, but when are you wanting me in the studio to start learning things?"

Quinn pulled away slowly, giving one more peck to Rachel's lips before leaving her to begin breakfast. "Um, I don't know. Soon. I'm heading out to London in three days, so I want to get you in there and comfortable before I leave you in there with them."

The teenager huffed a laugh. "You make it sound like I don't even know who I am going to be working with."

"Uh, you do but you don't." Beth arched an eyebrow and Rachel giggled to herself at the similarities once more and returned to the meal. "Adrianne is going to be the biggest adjustment for you. Kim is Kim. Always will be. Adrianne at work is different from the Adrianne you have learned about on visits."

"So, you're saying at work she's not an intelligent, man-hating, lesbian with a soft spot for her wife and daughter?"

Quinn smiled and then bobbed her head from side to side. "She is. But those aren't her primary character traits when she's in the studio. She tends to be driven on whatever she is focused on and forgets about everything else. So it will pretty much be you and Kim when I'm gone. And if Kim is not around for some reason, then it's just you."

Beth mashed her lips between her teeth and nodded her head curtly. "Gotcha. Count Adrianne as anything but helpful while she has something else to do." She finished saying as she helped a fumbling Gabe into the stool next to her.

Quinn smiled as she watched her children interact. She loved it every time it happened but now that the boys were getting older and would probably remember moments like this as they grew up into adults, it just meant so much more. "Exactly. But I'm headed in in just a few hours. I don't have anything booked today so I can start to show you around the inner workings if you would like? Get Kim to set you up on payroll and then maybe after lunch, really get you accustom to the city?"

"Sounds great."

"And then one day you will be mine to talk with." Rachel added as she leaned against her wife, resting her chin on her shoulder. "Because I need my time to catch up with you as well. It's been nearly a full year since we have seen you last."

The young blonde leaned back slightly and held her arms out. "I'm all yours and not going anywhere any time soon."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know... I liked. I'm sorry. I really did think I would get an update posted once I got back into town but life had other plans for me. I'm sorry. But here is one now and I already have the first half of the next chapter typed up. So hopefully it wont be too far away from being posted and I will get back on schedule. **

**I'm not going to bog you down with a lot of author notes besides my apology and my thanks for hanging in there. So thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. Thank you to Michelle and Amy for your help as well. Hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"So many memories here." Beth stated as she slowly walked into the studio. She hadn't seen it since the remodeling had been done. Quinn followed slowly just steps behind, nodding her head as the memories flashed back to her as well. "It's where I first saw you... first met you. You came out of the dressing room, but it's not there anymore."

Quinn's breath caught in her throat. It had never struck her that she had changed the setting of their first encounter with her renovation. "I remember it though. I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

The younger blonde smiled lightly as she stood in the exact spot they made first contact and turned around to take it all in. They had never spoken about it. About their past, their feelings. It was just something that had happened and was never dwelled upon. Mainly, Beth had recently admitted to herself, because she had been too immature at the time to see how it effected everyone's life. She knew how it had effected her, causing a loyalty battle within her in regards to Shelby, never wanting the woman to think that she was looking to replace her. She just wanted to know where she had come from. And she loved it.

"I remember it all happening, but I can't remember what my feelings were." Quinn stopped her wandering eyes from looking around the studio and brought them to her daughter as she continued, curious to know what has been happening in her thoughts. "Everything was just a blur. I know it's cliché but it's true. I wasn't thinking about anything, able to focus on anything. I just saw you and felt this natural urge to have you hold me." She laughed lightly at the end of her confession, trying to lessen the emotional vulnerability she was feeling. Quinn, on the other hand, was trying her hardest not to tear up.

"I never thought I would get the chance to... or have the right to."

Beth's smile faded and she shook her head firmly. "Don't be my Mom."

"What?"

"Shelby. Don't be like her."

"No, no, no." Quinn argued in a hushed tone, taking a step forward as Beth took a cautious one backward. "No. I'm not... I'm not saying that I am not going to take full advantage of the opportunities that we have to learn one another now that you are older. I want the exact opposite. I want to learn even more about you now that you are nearly an adult and have your own set opinions and beliefs. I just..." Beth paused and waited, wanting to hear what her biological mother had to say and hoping for the best. "When I gave you up for adoption, I never expected to have the chance to talk to you or see you again. I gave up that right. Everything we have had, all the visits and now you living here, those are all unexpected bonuses that I could never express how thankful I am for them."

Quinn mashed her lips between her teeth, still seeing the same fear in Beth's eyes as she had in Rachel's. She took a step forward and ran her hands over her dirty blonde hair and cupped her face.

"You're my daughter, no matter how old you are. And I want to know everything about you. Okay?"

Beth held her gaze for a moment and then nodded her head. "Okay."

"Am I interrupting anything?" Kim asked a few seconds later after having stood there in the background, waiting her turn.

Both blonde's jumped slightly and turned to the petite brunette and shook their heads. "No." Quinn answered, dropping her hands from Beth's face, making sure to maintain contact, dragging her fingers down the younger girl's arms. "We were just talking. Did you need something?"

"Yes. Actually." Kim replied, calling for Quinn to follow. Beth looked around the studio one more time, taking in the changes and a few details of Adrianne's photo shoot that was in midstream before following herself. She might as well see what she would be responsible for doing. "Adrianne is of course preoccupied at the moment and I need one of you to make a judgment call on the schedule."

"What's going on?" Quinn asked with a bit of a groan as Aubrey called her name and crashed into her arms and the blonde lifted her off the ground and into a huge hug.

"We have a huge account demanding our time but there is a schedule conflict with one of two clients already booked. The big account requires multiple days but is limited as to when it can happen. Each of those times overlaps with an already schedule shoot. I need to know which one to cancel."

"Wouldn't this be a first come first serve type thing?" Beth asked curiously.

Quinn groaned once more as she set Aubrey down. "Usually, yes. But not always. We try and work things out but sometimes we have to do what is in the best interest of the studio."

"And canceling a job would be in the best interest of the studio?"

Kim smiled as she sat down and tilted the screen up so Quinn could see, looking over the assistant's shoulder. "She's like Rachel. All about the professionalism."

"That's not a bad thing." Beth argued back lightly.

"No. It's not." The photographer agreed, standing up and tossing her glasses on to the desk. "But there are different ways of going about maintaining it. Canceling is not a way to do it. But neither is turning clients down, especially if they are paying for the house you are living in." She teased, earning a smile and a nod from the other two. "So what I do is I see who the conflicting accounts are. Both are returning clients so I know how each would react. We got lucky. I already know that the second one will have no issues with rescheduling for the day after."

Kim took the information and ran with it, instantly picking up the phone to reschedule the photo shoot.

"And what if you don't know either client?"

Quinn shrugged. "Cross your fingers and hope for the best."

Beth shook her head but smiled. "Not too much of a fan of that."

"It's business though. You have to be able to pay the bills."

"And what about creativity? Passion? Where do those filter in to your decision?"

The photographer took in a deep breath and let it out quickly through her nose. That had been a place she had been struggling with recently. Balancing the practical with the love. She felt lost almost, like life had taken over and dreams had been pushed to the background, no longer fitting where they once were. She knew that was the reason Rachel was pushing her so hard to go to London. Her wife wanted her to find what she had lost again. "It's there. Sometimes it just gets lost in the mix. You have to learn to do what you love but do what you have to as well."

~/~/~/~

When the pair returned home, Quinn waited until Beth disapeared down stairs before nearly running over to Rachel's side while the diva unpacked a few more boxes in the living room. "We have a problem that I didn't think was actually a problem until today when the problem presented itself as a problem and now has me freaking the hell out."

The brunette slowly straightened to a standing position and stared at her panting and panicking wife with wide eyes. "Clearly."

"I'm serious, Rachel. I'm not ready for this."

"For what?"

"For being responsible for a teenager." Rachel scowled a little, being bombarded with the same words from her past, but those came from her mother. "And before you say it, I'm not Shelby. I'm not running away from anyone and I'm getting a little sick of everyone doubting me. I just... I don't know what to do."

Rachel swallowed her emotions, knowing that the blonde was right. Quinn wouldn't push Beth away intentionally. She loved her and wanted her to be a part of her life in a deeper sense than even Rachel could understand. To the brunette, Beth was a mixture of things that had slowly mutated over time to something resembling a sister but now seemed more like a step-child, while not at the same time. But to Quinn, this was her daughter. Her flesh. She was in Quinn's heart as much as Gabe, Julian, and Maddy. "What happened to freak you out?"

The blonde glanced around again to make sure Beth hadn't reappeared just yet and crossed her arms over her chest, lowering her voice. "It's not like I wasn't expecting it, but now that it has happened... I am terrified and I don't know what to do."

Rachel would have normally been concerned at this point but her wife's awkwardness had her attempting not to smile instead. "Again, what happened?"

Quinn took in a deep breath and readied herself to explain. "So, I took Beth into the studio to look around and get comfortable, right?" Rachel nodded, still waiting for what the big deal was. "It was going smoothly, showing her around Kim's office and telling her what she would be doing. But then Kim needed me to answer a few questions so Beth walked out to watch Adrianne do a shoot." Rachel continued to wait patiently, still fighting the smile on her face. "Then Adrianne came rushing in afterward. She was panicked and freaked me out."

Rachel dropped her brow to try and maintain a serious facade. "What was wrong?"

"You're mocking me."

"I am not. You're just taking forever to get to the point and I find it to be absolutely adorable. I've always loved your rambling."

Quinn pursed her lips, unamused, but continued the story. "One of the male models was hitting on Beth." They both stood there in silence.

"And... the problem would be?"

"He was in his twenties, she's only seventeen. She's too young and there are always models around. I don't want her being bombarded by hormone driven men and pursued. I don't want her pressured into having sex and getting pregnant and messing up her plans for college and-"

"Baby. Baby," Rachel cupped Quinn's face and placed a chaste kiss on her lips to calm her down. "I know you don't want to think about this, but you seem to have it in her your head that Beth is a virgin." There was no response except for Quinn's tensing. "I also doubt she doesn't realize what can happen. I think she of all people knows the risk. Why are you so freaked out about something that is just another part of life?"

"Because she's my daughter." The statement had spilled out in a tone that left Rachel feeling ashamed that she didn't feel the same protective instinct towards the teenager. Sure she was going to be there to talk to and answer any questions, but she didn't feel the need to panic over the possibility of Beth finding a boyfriend while she was there and all that it entailed. This was that step-child but not really feeling. She was Quinn's daughter, not hers. Was that how Quinn felt about Maddy? No. Rachel shook the thought from her head, knowing it was ridiculous.

"Then why don't you talk to her about it?"

"I can't!" Quinn replied in a hushed but firm tone. "Do you know how awkward that is? It's not even my place. I'm not her mom."

"You're her mother though."

"I just... I feel like I'm stepping on toes. Who am I to have any say in her life?"

Rachel smiled softly before kissing her wife again, wrapping her arms around her waist and letting the blonde hold her. "You are someone who cares about her well being. That's the only reason you need. Okay?.. Hey." The diva quickly squeezed her arms after not getting a response.

"Okay. I just don't know how to do it."

"You'll figure it out." She assured her, resting her temple to the blonde's shoulder. "I know you will."

~/~/~/~

That night after dinner, Quinn had planned on talking to Beth and attempting to lay down a few guidelines or at least open up a discussion about what would be considered appropriate behavior while the teenager was living with them, but the plan was derailed by a demand from the boys to watch the Wizard of Oz again. She was granted a small reprieve which quickly disappeared as Julian cuddled up to her as she laid on the couch, just like he always had. Quinn suddenly felt unsure of her actions, her instincts. Would this make Beth feel uncomfortable? Seeing Quinn laying on the couch with her son clinging to her and Rachel in the chair with Maddy on her lap?

Apparently not when Gabe bounced over to the younger blonde with a huge grin on his face, asking if he could share the loveseat with her. Quinn watched as Beth smiled brightly and helped her half-brother onto the seat next to her. Both of the boys had been smitten with Beth from the moment they saw her, probably due to how much she looked like Quinn, but Gabe especially. He talked to her about everything and anything he could come up with and Beth would sit there and listen for hours, soaking it all in.

But once the movie ended and Gabe finished up his dialogue of opinions on the movie, Quinn's nerves got the best of her once more and she abandoned her plan and retreated upstairs to put the boys to sleep. When she was done, she ventured to Maddy's room where Rachel was attempting to calm the toddler enough to fall asleep. "Not ready yet?" She asked from the doorway.

The brunette turned around with their daughter on her hip and shook her head. "You ready to try? You always had the better luck with her."

"Yeah, let me have my crack at the mini you." She called with her hands as she walked further into the room and Maddy went willingly to her. Quinn could never stop the smile from spreading across her face every time she held her daughter, seeing how much she looked like Rachel. The eyes, the smile, the laugh. All of it melted her without even trying. "I couldn't do it." She confessed, finally pulling her eyes away from the toddler she was lightly swaying on her hip. "I just felt so out of place even thinking about bringing it up to her. How do I even start the conversation?"

Rachel took a seat in the rocker and folded her hands over her stomach. "Well, what exactly are you wanting to say to her?"

Quinn took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "There needs to be some rules." Rachel nodded in agreement. "She's only seventeen and doesn't know anyone here but us. I'm expecting her to make friends and want to go out, but I don't want her wandering around the city with people I don't know or don't trust."

"So..."

"So... I don't know."

Rachel smiled and dropped her eyes to the floor, ready to try another approach. "Say it was Maddy. Say Maddy was seventeen and wanted to go out with some friends, what then?"

Quinn looked down at the one year old in her arms who was finally settling down. She was so precious to the blonde. "We would have to meet them first." Rachel nodded her head and held up an index finger to indicate that was rule number one. "We would have to know where she was going and what she was doing." Rachel raised a second finger. "She would have to be back at a certain time. No unexpected sleepovers and then only if they were girls."

"What if she is gay?"

"Then boys but I thought we were talking about Beth?"

The diva smiled. "Just checking for future reference. Any others?"

"These are all parent things though. And Shelby is her parent."

"But she's living with us. New rules apply. What is this really about? Because normally that would be enough logic for you right there." Quinn took in a deep breath, realizing by Rachel's tone that she was on to something and was no longer wanting to play the run around game. "Let me in."

"I don't want her to resent me."

The confession had come in a small voice and Quinn dropped her head, pulling her daughter closer to her for comfort. "You think she would resent you?"

"Yeah. I gave her up for adoption and now I'm trying to dictate what she can and cannot do? Teenagers hate that anyway, but with our past... I'm just afraid of it turning around and being thrown in my face. Not that I think she would." The blonde assured her. "But the possibility and fear is still there."

Rachel nodded her head absently as she watched her wife place their sleeping daughter into the crib. She could understand it all now. Quinn was walking a fine line and on each side was emotional hurt. She didn't want to let Beth run around and do what she wanted as if Quinn didn't care about what happened to her, didn't care that she was there. But she didn't want the rejection from her daughter either. "I'll talk to her."

"What?"

"I'll talk to her." The diva repeated as she stood up from the chair and kissed her wife with a light smile on her face. "When you leave so there is no awkwardness. I'm not her mom nor her mother so the conversation wont be tainted by past emotions. My relationship with her sort of blurs the lines. I'm sort of a sister, sort of a friend, sort of a step-mother, and someone who just cares. There is nothing there that can be used against me." It was a win-win situation.

"That would be really amazing actually. I feel stupid for not being able to do it myself-"

"No. Don't feel stupid. I understand why you are reluctant. It makes sense. This will get around all of it." She felt Quinn the majority of her stress fall away when she saw Rachel smile. Once again the brunette seemed to be saving her and once again she was compelled to search for those words she was still missing in order to tell Rachel exactly how she felt.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This is a hard author's note to write so I'm going to jump right into it. I'm going on a bit of a hiatus. I will finish the story, I'm just not going to be writing to a schedule. There could be an update tomorrow or there might not be one for two weeks. Life has just sort of seeped into my creative flow and disrupted it a bit. I don't feel like I am able to do this story justice right now. I know it is a verse that means a lot to many of you and me as well.**

**So when I get my mind settled and find my groove again, I will be continuing it. I just don't know when that will be. So keep a look out for updates. I'm not abandoning this. I promise. I just need some time to refocus. I'm sorry for springing this on you suddenly. The blog will stay up and running (hopefully more so than it has been). I plan on working a lot of thoughts out in poetry or random rambles I might choose to share. So if you are interested in that, the blog link is in my profile.**

**But on to the chapter. I'm stopping in sort of a weird place but tried to set up what we will be seeing the next time I do update apart from what has already been mentioned. Hopefully when I come back to the story I will have a more clear cut direction planned out in my head. If you have any suggestions of what you would like to see, please, send me a message (I will be responding back to those of you who have recently sent me emails and messages. I haven't forgotten you at all.)**

**I'm sorry for sort of leaving you hanging but just know that I will finish the story. I promise. It's all to epic to leave open. Thank you as always for reading, reviewing, and now for having the patience to wait. I appreciate it all. Thank you and enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

Rachel stopped in her bedroom door and locked eyes with Quinn. The blonde was sitting up at the head of their bed, indian style, with her hands folded in her lap, a blank and distant look on her face. Her flight was tomorrow morning. "I would ask what you are thinking but I already know."

Quinn didn't raise her eyes from the spot on the mattress in front of her but slowly nodded her head, having said the same thing over and over and over for the last few weeks. She was tired of hearing herself say it. "I don't want to talk tonight."

"No?" The diva asked playfully as she took a few steps further into the room as her wife shook her head, keeping her eyes locked downward still. "Then what are you wanting to do tonight?"

This time hazel eyes lifted up to meet hers but not with the expected, devilish glint to them. This look was one Rachel hadn't seen for a while. "I just want to hold you."

A light smile formed on the brunette's lips as she walked to the edge of their bed and then crawled on, straddling her wife's legs and leaning into a deep hug. Quinn tightened her arms around the smaller woman, wanting to hold her close without hurting her but still feeling like it wasn't close enough. She sniffed back the emotions that were coming to her, hell bent on not crying tonight, and rested her cheek to Rachel's shoulder.

"I am going to be so mushy for the next three weeks."

The brunette sat up a little as Quinn leaned back against their headboard. "Three weeks?"

"Yeah. The two that I'm gone will be high lighted by midnight calls of poetry and singing while the week after I get back will be much of the same plus the possibility of never getting out of bed again."

"Oh, I see now."

"Good. So you have no objections to that?"

Rachel playfully looked up to the ceiling in deliberation as she ran her hands up and down her wife's neck and collar bone. "I wouldn't. However, child services might."

Quinn groaned and rolled her eyes slightly. "As much as I love our children, and I do with all my heart, there are days I long for old times."

"You mean the times when we would wake up in the other's arms, spend all day in bed ravishing each other, only getting up to scurry to the kitchen for food, still naked, and then jumping right back into bed."

"If we even made it back to the bedroom." The blonde teased with a beaming smile and bounced her legs to send her wife into a fit of giggles. "But yes. Those days. I miss them sometimes."

The diva smiled and leaned forward, resting her forehead on the blonde's and letting out a long breath. She missed them too. The carefree days when all she had to worry about was Quinn and only Quinn, not even her job mattered back then. "Just promise me one thing. Once you have gotten over the fact that you will be rid of all your stresses in life and are in a new and exciting environment with people who soak up every word that you will say and you finally give in to the fact that you are actually enjoying your trip... please don't come back with any more tattoos."

Quinn scoffed, causing Rachel to sit up and look at her. "I already promised you once before that I wouldn't get any more. And you act like I am covered from head to toe in them. I have five. And only two of them are visible on a normal day."

"Only because you wear long sleeves at the studio most days."

"You only further proved my point. The ones on my wrists, of which are dedicated to you, are the only two you can see. Not to mention they are all in white ink so you can't really seem them anyway. Why even say anything about them?"

Rachel smiled and bit her bottom lip, resuming her hand's movement over the photographers neck. "Because I knew you would get defensive... and feisty." Quinn arched and eyebrow and smirked slightly as both women studied the other's lips in front of them.

"You always have."

"I always will. It's sexy."

Quinn grinned as she leaned in, closing her eyes and capturing her wife's lips in a deep kiss that sucked the air out of both of their lungs. There was that spark. The need for the other, pulling them deeper. The blonde leaned forward, deeper into another kiss as she laid the diva down on the bed and lowered herself on top of her, the warmth of the smaller woman's hands felt fisting her hair. Hurried kisses moved down the brunette's jaw and then slowed as she bit down on her pulse spot, earning a raspy gasp from her lover who released her hold on the blonde tresses in order to pull at her blouse, begging for the skin contact she had learned to crave.

The blonde released the top two buttons and pulled the light material over her head, throwing it blindly to the side before returning her mouth to Rachel's neck and her hands to her torso as the brunette's shirt began to rise. There was never enough skin to touch.

"I need you." Rachel confessed in a whisper with her eyes screwed shut tightly, sensing her wife's hand changing directions and moving down over her hips. She gasped loudly when she felt Quinn cup her through the material of her shorts in just the right spot. Rachel could tell by the eagerness of her wife's fingers that this was only the first of many for them tonight, the last night. And she was more than willing to surrender her self completely.

~/~/~/~

"A beer for you." Santana said as she handed the chilled bottle to Adrianne who was seated on her couch in the dimly lit living room of her and Kim's apartment. Boxes had begun to pile up against the walls in preparation for the move. They couple had found a quaint three bedroom home just a few blocks away from Quinn and Rachel and were more than ready to move. Santana gave her time to help them, well, what time she could find. "And a beer for you." She stated again, stretching her other arm out to Kim who was sitting next to the photographer and politely shook her head. "No?"

Adrianne looked over to her wife curiously and Kim met her eyes after shaking her head once more. "No. I'm wanting to try again."

Santana shrugged and took a swig from the bottle instead before sitting down on the cushioned chair across from them. They were the only two pieces of furniture left that hadn't been prepped for the move. "More for me then."

"When did you want to schedule the next session?" Adrianne asked, still holding her wife's gaze, but also reaching over and taking her hand in support.

"After the grand opening of the restaurant. Quinn will be gone and we will have found a groove at the studio. Beth would have had time to learn the ropes. And I will have had time to find some inner peace. There should be as little stress then as possible." Adrianne smiled widely and opened her mouth to say something but Kim cut her off, not ready to hear what she had to say just yet. "It's a shame Quinn will miss the restaurant opening though, isn't it?" She asked, looking over to the Latina who slowly finished her swig of beer, not expecting the awkwardness between her friends.

"It is. But she'd probably just stress me out if she was here. That nervous thing she does when she gets excited. Always running around. She never use to do that, you know?"

"No?"

The Latina shook her head, sticking her bottom lip out slightly as she did so. "Nope. She use to be very cold and calculating. If something was making her uneasy, you'd never know."

"So what changed?" Kim asked, shifting in her seat and repositioning her sleeping daughter that laid between her and Adrianne with her head on the assistant's lap.

"I would assume that was her doing." Santana replied, pointing quickly to Adrianne who shook her head.

"No. Not really. She was pretty fidgety when I met her. She probably just lost the urge to control herself after moving away from her parents."

"That, I would believe. Just having Russell around the restaurant has actually had me checking myself." Both women on the couch dropped their brow in confusion and waited for Santana to set her drink down on her knee again before she explained. "I never really noticed it before, but he has this presence that just puts you on edge. He's not threatening, but... I don't know."

"I know what you mean." Adrianne assured her. "I'm never fully myself when he is around. Though I have become much more comfortable with him as time goes by. Especially seeing how much of a teddy bear he is with the boys."

"What I haven't figured out yet," Kim interrupted, pulling all eyes to her. "Is why exactly he still seems a little distant from Madeline." The other two women nodded their heads in agreement. "Part of me wonders, but hopes it isn't true, that he may be distant because she isn't biologically his granddaughter. And part of me wonders if it is because she's a girl and he might be worried of repeating past mistakes."

Santana leaned forward and set her beer bottle on the ground by her feet, resting her elbows on her knees. It was nice to finally talk about something besides the restaurant. "My normal reaction would be because she's not his by blood. But I really don't know if that is the case. I mean, he has changed a lot in the last few years, but I don't know if anyone can really change that much. What will really be interesting, is how he interacts with Beth."

"Oh, yes." Adrianne agreed. Beth hadn't been to New York in a while, having focused on school so much. But even during her visits before that, she and Russell always seemed to never cross paths. She either came up while he and Judy were out of town on one of their trips or he was busy with work. Adrianne figured it had been about four years since he had seen her and even that was in passing as his attention was given to the newly born twins at the time. "There is a lot of history in that relationship isn't there? A relationship that has never actually been defined."

"She is the 'reason' he lost his daughter in the first place. She would remind him of his past. Of Quinn's past. But still, he can't deny that she is family."

"Hell no, he can't. She looks just like Q."

"She is Quinn." Adrianne argued with a bit of a laugh before taking a sip of her beer. "Just lighten the hair and you have her."

"Her personality is a bit off though." Kim noted pensively. "She has grown quieter but I'm not even sure that is natural for her. Perhaps just nerves still?"

"Could be. I do remember her being a lot more like Rachel growing up... oddly... yet not that odd now that I think about it."

"And Puck is her dad." Santana reminded them, knowing that while Shelby had had an influence on Beth, a good chunk of the attitude and badassness that she once displayed could be attributed to him. "But the one thing about seeing Beth again, that is driving me absolutely fucking nuts... is she is the same little kid that dropped a slushie on you and Q with me just a few years ago. Seeing her grown up like this just makes me feel old."

The photographer scoffed. "Makes you feel old? What about me?"

"True. You're old." Adrianne arched an eyebrow and Santana stared back. "Er? You're older? Does that make it better?"

"Not hardly."

"Then I will go back to just old... ancient... how old are you anyway? Forty?" Adrianne pursed her lips and let a quick breath out through her nose as the Latina grinned at her before lifting her beer and taking another sip of it. "Maybe I could take your young wife off your hands and-"

"Oh, here we go. Back to the old Santana."

"Hey, you're the old one. But we will move on from the age topic and go to a question I have been dying to get someone else's opinion on." Both Kim and Adrianne exchanged quick glances, a little nervous at what the topic was that Santana hadn't already formed an opinion on. "Do you think... that Quinn will last the full two weeks over there? Or better yet, do you think Rachel will last the full two weeks without jumping on a plane?"

Adrianne chuckled lightly before taking another sip of her beer and Kim smiled as she looked down, running her hand through her daughter's hair. They had already discussed this. "We think Rachel will be over there before the first week is over." Kim stated, still smiling. "I don't think Quinn would risk Rachel's wrath by disobeying a direct order and coming home early."

"That's what I was thinking too." Santana confessed. "But I wasn't sure if Rachel would actually go."

"Why not? She has someone to watch the kids. Whether it be Beth, us, you, or Judy and Russell." Kim argued back. "I don't see her staying over there for an extended amount of time but she would definitely go over there. I mean, how long have they ever spent apart?"

"Two nights." Adrianne stated pensively. "When we had to head to L.A., but there was a schedule conflict of some sort. They spent the whole time on the phone with each other. Rachel isn't going to be able to do that and take care of three kids at the same time. With or without Beth there to help and she's going to be at the studio all day."

Santana stood up and carried her empty bottle to one of the garbage bags laying on the floor and then grinned at the couple on the couch. "Ladies, who is up for a little wager?"

~/~/~/~

Quinn sighed as she set her bags down by the front door, resting her weight on her out stretched hand that braced against the wall. She was leaving. Leaving her wife, her children, her job, everything. She hated it and hated it even more that she still felt that tiny tingle of excitement in the pit of her stomach. She had fallen into a groove, gotten comfortable and content. Losing grip on the get up and go lifestyle that she had set up for herself the day she left Lima fifteen years ago.

"Are you okay?"

The blonde jumped slightly, spinning around to see Beth standing at the stairs having just come up from the basement. She had settled in nicely but was still finding her place in it all. It had only been a few days so not much could be expected beyond that. It was a big adjustment. Quinn just wished she had had more than a few days to help her settle in and begin to feel that homey vibe they were all wanting.

"Yeah. I just... It's been a long time since I've been without everyone. I'm not very fond of the leaving process."

The teenager nodded her head, leaning against the railing. "I understand. I mean, I've only had to say bye once but it has been enough for me to not want to do it again for a long, long time."

Quinn half smiled, being bombarded with memories of the day she had left Beth in the nursery. "Have you called Shel- your mom recently? I'm sure she'd love to know that you are finally all unpacked. She has to be a little lonely having an empty house now that you are here."

Beth nodded slightly. "I will call her tonight so I can tell her how my first official day at the studio was."

It was all awkward and Quinn couldn't take it anymore. The slightly too long moments of silence. The short, direct answers. That inability to hold each other's gaze for more than a second. What had happened to lose that playful closeness they had once had during all of Beth's visits. She smiled a little bigger, moving the question from her mind, before walking over to her daughter and being met in a hug. It wasn't a strong, bone crushing hug, but one more of comfort. Like the moments she had with Rachel. Everything was said in the connection.

"I wish I wasn't leaving so soon but it is only a few weeks. I will be back before you know it and then we can get settled completely as a unit."

Beth let out a little laugh as the pulled away. "You sound like you are trying to convince yourself of that more than me."

"Yeah... well, again, I don't like leaving."

"But it is something that you want to do, isn't it?"

There was something about the question that made Quinn's brow drop slightly. "Yes. I have always wanted to go abroad and find my element with like-minded people. But what I'm having to give up, even temporarily... I have issues convincing myself that it is worth it sometimes."

"But you're still going? Even if you aren't one hundred percent sure?"

Quinn closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. "What is the underlying conversation we are having? That is a Corcran trait because Rachel does it too."

Beth laughed a genuine laugh but dropped her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest before slowly looking up to meet Quinn's matching hazel eyes again. "How about we save that conversation for when you get back. One less distraction for you and it will give me some more time to think about things."

"You're making me nervous, you know that, right?" The older blonde asked as she lost the battle with her maternal instincts and ran her hands through Beth's messed, morning hair. "But if you say it can wait, I will trust you."

"Are you ready, Baby? Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt." Rachel apologized as she came to a sudden stop in the stairwell, looking at the blondes as they gazed up to her.

"You're not. This conversation is on hold for two weeks." Beth assured her with a smile she shared with her mother as well. "And she's ready. But you might want to hurry before she changes her mind."

"Oh no. That's not happening." Rachel agreed, descending the last few steps. "She's going. Even if I have to force her ass on the plane."

"Love to know how you would manage that." She retorted, trying to hide her smile as she took a few steps to the side and let the older women share a tender kiss to seal the blonde's fate. She was going and she was not to argue.

"I have my ways."

"I have no doubts."

Rachel smiled brightly, looking at Quinn. "She has your wit. I like it."

"That's good." Quinn remarked, wrapping her arms around the brunette's shoulders and pulling her as close as she could and sighed. "It will be as if I never left then... for you."

"Your guilt trip isn't working for me. Sorry."

"No you're not."

Rachel pulled away and moved to the front door, eying the luggage. "You're right, I'm not. Are these all your bags?"

"It is. I don't have to pack half the house like you do, remember?"

"No, you just need half a dozen cameras which I don't see."

Quinn smiled as she watched her wife struggle to move the three bags to make sure nothing was hidden underneath them. "I'm only taking two and they are in the bag you are holding."

"You got a new camera bag? When?"

Beth gasped playfully, heading towards the kitchen with her back to the women to grab some breakfast before beginning her own day of work. "The secrets begin."

"She is such a smart ass sometimes." The diva noted with a smile as Quinn approached for one more hug. "And it's hard to tell anymore who she got that from." She took in a deep breath as she settled into her wife's arms, resting her temple on the blonde's shoulder. "Are you ready?"

"No... but yes."

"Good. Then we should probably get you to the airport then."

"Yeah." Neither moved other than to hold each other tighter and comforting grazed, kisses on the forehead and cheek. "Or not..."

"You're going, Fabray. I just don't want to let you go just yet."

"Hold me as long as you want."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Long time coming. I am beyond sorry about the wait for this. I had expected to take a good chunk of time off before continuing with this story but I never intended for it to last this long. Life just kept coming at me. But hopefully this is a turning point.**

**As for this story. Not gonna lie... I'm nervous about picking it back up again. I'm rusty with my writing and trying to delve back into these character's lives is a big challenge. I know you love them and this 'verse so I hope, hope, hope not to disappoint you.**

**As always and even more so now, please review and let me know what you think as well as what you would like to see happen. Thank you all so much for your patience and I will try not to keep you waiting too long for the next update. Thank you and enjoy.**

~/~/~/~

Quinn had been laying awake in bed with her eyes glued to the clock on the hotel nightstand. She had been staring at it for the last half hour in complete silence. It wasn't natural. The quietness. She was certain that the hotel soundproofed their rooms now. She couldn't hear the cars on the street or the people walking down the sidewalk starting their day. Just the hum of the electronics in her suite and the light click as the rotary dial flipped over on the clock indicating another minute had passed.

"Seven freaking thirty and I'm wide awake." She mumbled to herself, feeling the need to hear something. "And Rachel didn't even have to do it." With the mention of her wife her mind instantly started doing the calculations to see what time it was back in New York but she knew it was far too early to call. The diva would probably only harass her about it anyway. Quinn wanted to at least make it through the first day with an apparent sense of independence.

As part of that show of autonomy, the blonde rolled over on her back and stretched out as far as she could to encompass the whole bed before smiling lightly and making snow angles in her sheets. She really was trying to make the best of her situation but the truth was it brought her cowering back into past emotions and the faint smile fell from her face as she stilled her limbs.

Looking up at the ceiling the blonde took in a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Two weeks. Two weeks and then she was going to be back at home with her wife, her children, her parents, her friends. It wasn't like before. She wasn't walking away with the intention of never seeing them again. There was no emotional abandonment on either side. She just wasn't physically there with them. And that problem would be rectified in thirteen days from now.

Quinn nodded to herself as the logic played out in her mind, already seeing the brighter side of one day down, thirteen more to go. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that Rachel had been right. She was going to be busy and time would just fly by. Today was already set to be hectic. As she thought about it even more, Kim probably booked her for as many interviews, meetings, and lectures as she could possibly fit in so Quinn's down time was minimal. The blonde chuckled to herself over her epiphany. She had good friends who were looking out for her.

Just then the phone rang and the blonde sighed one more time before answering it and truly beginning her day. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Fabray, this is your requested wake up call for 7:45. Is there anything you will be needing this morning? Room service?"

She couldn't help but shake her head. Rachel was the one that loved soaking up the attention of being waited on hand and foot. Not her. "No thank you."

"Very well. Have a wonderful morning."

A wonderful morning. Right... The buzz she had previously been feeling about the day's adventures faded once again and she looked around the bright room in eerie silence. Right now Rachel would be pacing back and forth between the bathroom and the bed nudging the blonde awake and ordering her to get the boys up and dressed while she headed down for breakfast, letting Maddy sleep in just a little bit longer to avoid any mini diva tantrums. Quinn would then grown and mumble something incoherent into her pillow before the covers were stripped off the bed violently as Rachel's final warning for her to get her ass out of bed.

But instead of getting that half-hearted annoyance from her wife which always fell flat because of the smile on the brunette's face, Quinn now laid there motionless trying to find her own will power to get up. With a final roll of her eyes she stretched her arm out blindly and found her cell phone, quickly dialing a number and covering her face in shame.

"Hello?"

The blonde smiled and began to chuckle. "Please tell me to get my ass out of bed." A muffled and groggy laugh crackled over the speaker back at her.

"Baby, it's not even three am here."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just feel so... I don't know. Lost. My routine is gone and I don't have you nagging at me to get up so it's simply up to me and you know how that works."

Rachel arched an eyebrow but never bothered to open her eyes as she laid in bed still half asleep. "Did you just say that I _nag_ you?"

Quinn bit her bottom lip but couldn't keep the smile from sounding through her voice. "I mean that with all the love one can possibly find."

"Sure you do. Now get your ass out of bed."

The blonde sighed. "You know, it's just not the same without you parading around in your towel after your morning shower. I'm not too sure I am feeling that much motivation just yet. I might be able to get one leg out of bed." She slid her leg to the edge of the bed so it was just poking out of the blankets. "Nope, not even that far. But I see toes."

"Quinn Fabray!"

"Rachel Fabray!"

"Why are you never this playful in the mornings in person?"

There was a short pause. "Perhaps because I am distracted when I see you in person."

Rachel rolled over in bed and blushed slightly. "Yeah, well, I know where you are going with this and it is too early in the morning for phone sex."

"Who said that was where I was going? Can't I just compliment you on having the most amazing smile and personality, not to mention sexy as hell body, and that my thoughts invade me whenever you are around?"

"Yes, you can. But I know you're not."

"That's presumptuous." Quinn argued teasingly as she sat up and moved to the side of her bed.

The actress wiped the sleep from her eyes. "No, Quinn. That is years of marriage."

Even now just hearing Rachel's voice over the phone seemed to bring the blonde back to life. "Years? Doesn't seem that long does it?"

The actress smiled and tried to push away the annoyance of being woken up at this time of night. She should love it that her wife can't go a day without her. "Some days it does. But most it doesn't." She agreed, settling in for the conversation.

"Today?"

"You mean to_night_?" Quinn bit her bottom lip. "No, tonight it doesn't. It's weird but it almost feels like the beginning of our relationship. You know, those few nights we actually did spend apart only to end up talking and texting, wanting to be back together."

"Yeah." A silence fell between the women as both smiled at the memories flooding back over them. Perhaps they had been completely wrong about this trip of Quinn's. Maybe it wasn't going to be testing, but more of a rekindling of their love. Some spark, some freshness again. "I love you."

It wasn't the normal confession of the emotion, when it is stated because it is appropriate or the quick, breathless whispers after intimacy. There was a soft, gentleness but also a solid conviction behind the blonde's words. It was said as if maybe Rachel had a reason to have never believed it before and this time it was the truth.

Rachel never had doubted it, but hearing the calmness in her wife's words caught her off guard. They were pure. "I love you too."

Both women smiled in another round of silence while Quinn kicked her feet shyly. "Okay. Well, I guess I should get ready for today. Kim has me meeting with the people running the lecture hall this morning and then another meeting with one of the gallery owners who is showing my work and I think I have an interview with one of the online publications as well."

"Sounds like you are going to have a busy first day."

"Yeah..."

"Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"Enjoy it."

She huffed a little laugh and nodded her head. "I will. Good night."

"Good morning."

~/~/~/~

"Don't do that." Kim scolded, freezing Adrianne where she stood, slightly hunched over the younger brunette's desk with a pen in her hand, ready to mark on the calendar.

"Don't do what?" She asked accusingly.

"Exactly what you are doing. Changing things."

The photographer stood up, perfectly straight and sighed. "I need to reschedule a session."

"I know." Kim stated, grabbing the pen from her wife's hands and gently guiding her away from the desk and towards her office door. "But scheduling is my job. Not yours. If we both start doing it then something is going to get missed or overbooked. So you do your job, and I will do mine." Kim finished her command with her hands on her hips, firmly placing herself between her wife in the doorway and the calendar on her desk. "Deal?"

Adrianne stood there dumbfounded as to how her scratching out one client's name and putting in another was something that required a special permit but she wasn't going to argue. Mainly because there was a light playfulness to her wife's insistence. It was a nice change from the heavy moods that had been smothering them recently. "Okay." She agreed, raising her hands in the air as a sign of defeat. "I agree to your terms."

"Good." The smaller woman smiled. "So what did you need to change?"

"My appointment next Wednesday had to reschedule and will be getting back with us as to when, but I had another client want to book that time. I was just going to change the name."

Kim nodded and walked back to her desk. "Is there anything you will need for that shoot that I need to have available?"

"I will let you know." Adrianne remarked with a smile, liking this change between them professionally. Normally they would be at each others' throats, mainly because she had done something to annoy her wife. But this playfulness could be a good thing.

"Good morning."

Both women turned their attention to the studio entrance as Beth walked in with Madeline on her hip and diaper bag on her shoulder. "It's still weird." Adrianne muttered and Kim nodded in agreement. "They just look far too much alike."

"And I am sure she is tired of hearing that." The petite woman responded softly behind her smile before addressing the approaching teenager. "Good morning. Where are the boys?"

"Um, with Russel today. He wanted to take them somewhere for a sort of 'boys day out' so he picked them up early this morning. I don't know. I think it was a good thing though." She admitted, setting the one year old down and waving to Aubrey who was already playing in Kim's office. "I got my first introduction to the paparazzi this morning."

Both women exchanged quick glances and cringed. Beth had pretty much been shielded from them before now. "They didn't harass you did they?" Adrianne asked, automatically feeling her protective nature shinning through. She knew her wife wouldn't take issue with it either. Beth was still a kid. Sure, she was moving into her circle of adults but she was still one of their children.

"No, no, no." The blonde assured them quickly, knowing how Adrianne could get and how Kim could get in response. She was wanting to avoid that at all costs. Quinn's warnings had sunk in deeply. "I'm not actually sure they knew what to do to be honest. I mean, I'm not Rachel and I'm not Quinn. But I am part of that... what do you call that?"

"No clue. We can stick with 'that thing' if it works better for you. But just wait until Rachel goes back to work. We are referring to this time as her off season. The paparazzi will double their coverage as soon as she gets a gig. So be prepared." The photographer warned, offering the teenager a chair as she took the other in front of her wife's desk and watched as her daughter played cautiously with Madeline. Soon she would have a sibling of her own to dote on.

"So..." Beth began, looking around and feeling slightly out of place again. "What do you need me to do today?"

"You're going to help me out this morning in a bit." Adrianne informed her, sipping on her coffee. "But we have some time still."

"Adrianne likes to wait to the last minute to do things." Kim explained and her wife looked offended. "Don't even. You know it is true."

"What is true," She began to explain, turning to Beth, "Is that I enjoy the creativity that comes with s hectic flow. I work better when my juices are bumping. So I wait until it is just about time to start before setting everything up. That way I set up, take the photos, and it's all done. No waiting around, letting the mood get stale."

The blonde mashed her lips between her teeth and nodded her head slowly, a little lost in the explanation. She was raised that if something was needing to be done, do it while you can because you might not be able to later and that could look unprofessional. "We might have some issues there."

Adrianne roughly dropped her hands to the armrests on the chair. "Don't tell me you're tightly strung like Rachel?" Kim gasped at the insult of her idol and Beth tried to keep from laughing. "I don't mean it as a negative thing. I'm just saying. Everything has to be perfect and once it is, she has to see all the other possibilities all over again to make sure that it really was perfection. You know it's true."

"Regardless, it's not fair to compare the two. Beth is her own person."

The teenager smiled softly at the younger woman who nodded her head in conviction of her statement. It had been one reason why Beth was hesitant about mingling so closely with this portion of her extended family. She loved them and wanted them to be part of her life, but the circumstances of their relationship always left her feeling more compared to one person or another, always being pushed and pulled to a side. "Thank you. And I should probably say that my mom isn't high strung. So Rachel didn't inherit that trait from her. Mom may search for a personal perfection but she is actually pretty relaxed."

"So that is strictly a Berry trait?"

Beth shook her head, at a loss for an answer. "Or just strictly a Rachel trait."

Adrianne shrugged and pursed her lips before returning to her coffee. "Fair enough."

"What's up bitches?"

Adrianne and Beth turned their heads to see Santana prop herself in the office doorway while Kim rolled her eyes, having told the Latina countless times to watch her language around the children. Thankfully Maddy wasn't repeating things yet and Aubrey was fairly shy and quiet to begin with.

"What are you doing here?" The photographer asked warmly. She had been just as concerned for Santana as Rachel and Quinn but oddly gave the woman the space she needed. Kim couldn't figure it out. Why it was she was in everyone's business but Santana's. Perhaps it was a personality thing. She knew Santana could take care of herself and believed she would ask for help if she actually needed it. Regardless, Kim didn't understand it.

"I was needing to talk to you real quick. Then I will be out of everyone's hair."

"And I don't get a hello?" Beth asked waving her had to grab the Latina's attention.

"Holy freaking shit." Santana exclaimed, wide-eyed as Beth stood up and Kim hung her head in defeat of keeping the office profanity free. "I totally thought you were Quinn. I..." She lost her words as she looked the teenager over before embracing her in a hug. The slushy throwing had been a bonding experience for the two years ago. Since then Santana had dubbed herself as Beth's only cool aunt. Beth had gladly accepted feeling a naturally close bond to her as well. Closer than Adrianne and Kim who were just close friends of extended family in her mind. "You're making me feel old, Kid. Am I really that old?" She asked looking to the other women.

"You _are _thirty-three." Adrianne answered with a mocking smile.

Santana dropped her eyes to the sitting woman and frowned. "Don't even get me started on you, crypt keeper." The photographer matched her frown with one of her own, leaving Kim to laugh at them both. "But seriously. I need to talk to you for a minute."

The two women left promptly after Adrianne gave a shrug to her wife, unsure of what this was about. Santana wasn't normally the secretive kind either. If she had something to say, she was going to say it, regardless of who was around. Hell, she would probably share things that were best kept private just to see what reaction she could get.

Nonetheless, the two women exited and Beth looked to Kim for direction. She wasn't use to being unproductive. "So..."

The brunette smiled, feeling the teenager's awkwardness as her own. "So?"

Beth raised her palms up towards the ceiling and then dropped them back down on the armrests of her chair, unsure of where to go from here. "I don't know."

Kim laughed lightly and shuffled through her papers. "Just relax. You'll find your place in the chaos here shortly enough. It's actually a very relaxed environment. You can't really do much wrong so your stress should be limited."

"Really? Because I could have sworn I heard you lecturing Adrianne about screwing something up when I came in." She teased back. Beth liked Kim. Adrianne had always been in an odd gray area with her from the first moment she met her, possibly to do with the rumors of Quinn cheating on Rachel with her, but still. They made a lasting impression. Kim on the other had was just Kim. She didn't go out of her way to get involved but didn't pull away from anyone either. Beth liked that and left at ease around her.

"That's because she's Adrianne. She has a natural affinity to do the one thing that can mess up a whole day."

"That's why you love her isn't it?"

Kim laughed and shook her head. Not that she didn't, but more the fact that she did. "Yes. Or it's more the fact she is completely oblivious to how she messes it up. It's adorable. But don't her that." She deadpanned.

Beth motioned with her hand that her lips were sealed. "Your weakness for the awkwardly oblivious is safe with me."

~/~/~/~

"So," Rachel began, leaning into the island counter in the kitchen, Beth sitting on the stool across from her. "Tell me about your first day in the studio without Quinn there to buffer between Adrianne and Kim."

The blonde smiled and adjusted herself, settling in for the conversation. "It was... interesting?" She joked questioningly, chuckling to herself and then sighing at the memories. "Are they always so... so... what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Combative?"

"Something like that. But yes. The day started out great actually. Kim was being playful with Adrianne and was showing me more details of what needs to be done and how to document certain things. But then something changed after lunch and everything got really awkward."

"Ah, don't let it bother you." Rachel stated, waving her hand in the air before turning around to fix herself a glass of water. "They are going to be like that regardless. The best thing you can do is go about your day as if nothing has happened. Talk to them like you would if they weren't fighting but never, and I mean _never_, put yourself between them. Don't fall into the messenger role, okay? They are grown adults. If they want to say something, they can speak to one another."

The teenager shook her head and looked down at the counter top before her. "It's just weird. I'm not use to people bickering. It's always just been me and Mom and she ruled the roost... most of the time anyway. It was always one or the other. Nothing was ever up for debate."

Rachel smiled lightly as she leaned back against the sink, taking a slow sip of her drink. "You miss her already, don't you?" Beth shrugged her shoulders but didn't look up. "It's okay. She's your mom. I know when I first moved to New York it was terrible. I mean, I had Finn with me but I missed my Dads. They were the only family I had and without them," She lifted her shoulders and sighed. "There was just this void."

"Yeah, but I have you and Qu-"

Beth stopped abruptly and looked up at the brunette with wide, hazel eyes. Rachel waited a moment longer and stepped to the island again, gently setting down her glass. "What is it?"

The teenager dropped her eyes once more, visibly struggling with her words. "What did you call my Mom when you first met her?"

"I called her Mom." The actress replied honestly before her thoughts drifted back to that moment in time and added, "Awkwardly."

"Why did you choose 'Mom'?"

Rachel shrugged. She had moved on from most of the emotional scarring that Shelby caused in her life but the intertwining connection the four had still left some awkward gray areas she found difficult to navigate. "At the time, that's what I wanted from her. I wanted her to be my mom. I had never had one."

Beth nodded her head in understanding. "So you called her what you wanted your relationship with her to be?"

"Yes." Simple enough answer.

"Do you call her Shelby now because you hate her?"

"I..." The brunette smiled and shook her head, trying not to laugh at the absurd remark. "I don't hate Shelby. I might not have the type of relationship with her that I was once hoping for, but I don't _hate_ her because of it."

"So, you don't call her by her name because she means any less to you? She just isn't your mom." Rachel nodded and Beth fiddled with her fingers a moment before shifting in her seat. "Okay. So.. do you think... Do you think she would be uncomfortable if I called her Quinn then?"

Rachel waited to respond until Beth looked up and their eyes locked together. "Not at all." She answered gently. "She's been trying to figure out what relationship you're wanting from her for some time now. I mean, she will always see you as her daughter but she understands that Shelby is your mom. She would never expect or even try to fill that role."

"I know. I just... I didn't want to hurt her feelings, I guess. Because Shelby is my mom in my eyes. But that's not to say that Quinn isn't an important part of my life." The blonde explained quickly, wanting to make sure that part wasn't misunderstood. "That's one of the perks about coming to live here. You two have been part of my life for awhile and I love having you in it. I was hoping that we could all grow closer. It's been Mom and me for so long... and to know that I have brothers and a sister who is also kind of my niece and... yeah that part is still confusing."

"How about we stick with sister then? It fits better since the boys are your brothers by blood."

Beth nodded in thankful agreement. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that..."

"You don't have to say it, Beth. I know it is a very awkward place to be in. I mean, I've been there. I am still there in many ways. But all you have to do is call Quinn what you want to call her and she will go from there. Trust me when I say that she will understand completely. And this actually brings up something we have been meaning to talk to you about."

"Does it?" The teenager asked through closed teeth, tensing slightly in caution.

"Why do you instantly think you are in trouble?"

"Well, I normally am." Rachel dropped her brow in confusion but kept the smile on her face so Beth knew the conversation was meant to be light. "I did good in school with my grades and all. But I had a habit of letting my mouth get me into trouble so it has become kind of a knee jerk reaction to think I did something wrong."

"Well, relax. The only reason I am bringing it up now is Quinn was confused as how best to approach the conversation since she didn't know what relationship you were expecting from her. She didn't want to overstep any boundaries that you may have felt belonged to Shelby. But all it was was placing some guidelines down." She explained, standing up and fixing her hair. If they could stumble through the conversation about who was who's mom, they could handle a discussion about rules. "You are only seventeen and living under our roof so we are responsible for you."

"Are you giving me a curfew?" Beth asked with confusion on her face.

Rachel hesitated, sensing some resistance to what she thought was completely understandable. She took a moment to reassess how to continue. "Not exactly a curfew per se, but more like an outline of what we need in order to be comfortable as you branch out socially in the city."

The teenager kept a smirk on her face as she slowly nodded her head, still not feeling the idea.

"I don't think it's unreasonable." Rachel stated plainly. "You're still a minor."

"Actually, in New York, the legal age _is_ seventeen."

Rachel opened her mouth and raised her index finger to clarify that was legal age to consent to sex, but that was a conversation she really wasn't wanting to get into right now. Not with Quinn gone. Hell, not even with Quinn here. The diva cleared her throat instead. "I am hoping that you have enough respect for Quinn and I to adhere to a few simple rules. We aren't trying to lock you in your bedroom or anything." She tried pleading and Beth's facial expressions changed. Clearly she had been given a long list of 'dos and don'ts from Shelby before leaving and wasn't really wanting to hear it all over again. "We just want you to be safe."

"Well," She began softly as she stood up from the stool, ready to leave the kitchen and the conversation. "I wish you knew me well enough to trust that I wouldn't do anything stupid. But I guess not."

"Beth!"

"You two have always been really cool." She continued a little louder, letting her unexpected frustrations pour through. "I never felt like a kid around you guys and now I feel like you're going to be just like Mom and smother me all the time. I'm not reckless. I like to have a good time but I'm not going to do anything stupid like get myself killed."

"I never said you were." Rachel responded as she stood motionless and shocked at the argument she was receiving.

"It was implied."

"No, it wasn't. You are assuming." She corrected her quickly. "You are assuming that we don't trust you and believe you would willingly put yourself in harm's way and that just simply isn't true. We do trust you but that doesn't mean bad things can't happen."

"Bad things happen all the time."

Rachel nodded her head, seeing her point be proven. "Exactly."

"So you can't stop them all. And telling me to be in bed with lights out but eight isn't going to stop them."

The brunette let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of her nose to release some stress. This conversation wasn't going at all like she had thought. All it was providing was a new found respect for parents of teenagers who had a flare for the dramatics.

"Beth," She started again calmly and waited for the blonde to deflate a little herself. She could see the teenager was clearly upset about more than just the suggestion of a curfew, probably having to deal with Shelby, but that wasn't what mattered right now. "We are responsible for you. Responsible for your safety _and_ your enjoyment of your time here. We aren't trying to lock you in your room before the sun goes down. We were thinking of midnight as the curfew unless it is an event that will be over shortly after. The only other thing we were wanting is to have met the people you are going with."

The blonde rolled her eyes at the last part and crossed her arms over her chest. But what kid did like having their 'parent' meet their friends? None. Rachel knew this. Beth had come to the city with hopes of being free to do what she wanted but there were still some rules that needed to be put in place regardless of how much of a fight ensued.

So the diva took one more deep breath and prepared to speak the words she swore she would never use. "I don't think we are asking a lot. And if you can't comply to those two rules, I don't think you living here is going to work. We want you here. So much. But we aren't going to spend every night worrying about you. So, it's your choice to make."

Silence fell between them but Rachel was content. They weren't going to back down on this. These rules would apply to their own children in time. And she could tell Beth knew the requests weren't unreasonable as the blonde worried her bottom lip, sinking more into the embarrassment of her outburst before Rachel decided to spare her.

"So what do you say? Will you stay with us?"

After just a moment more of silence Beth nodded her head and unfolded her arms. "Yeah. I would like to."

"Okay. Good. Would you mind helping me with dinner?" Rachel asked cautiously, giving them both a chance to move on from the conversation and the teenager nodded again.

"Let me just wash up a bit."

The brunette nodded and smiled until Beth left, then promptly dropped her head to the counter top with a loud thud. That was more stress than she had felt in a long time. Well, that wasn't true. Having three kinds under the age of five provided her with plenty of stress. But this was different. The boys couldn't get up and walk away if they were angry. They couldn't leave the house and disappear. This whole raising a teenager thing was intense and to be honest, she was dreading it for the twins and more so with Maddy. She lifted her head and rolled her eyes at the thought of her daughter, her flesh and blood, going through this. "She better somehow inherit Quinn's personality because there is no way I can handle myself at that age." She shook her head and turned to prepare dinner. "Nope. No way."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I know some of you are going to be disappointed because this is not an actual update. I apologize. Let me first start off with easing any fears. I **will** be continuing this story and I **will **be doing so _**SOON**_. I just need to explain some things.

I have been wanting to explain the lack of updates for a while but have not had the needed information to do so. Now, I finally can. There are several reasons for my hiatus but lately there has only been one pressing matter.

For the last two and a half months, I have been dealing with some health issues. I had been experiencing some discomfort in my neck and a "crunching" whenever I turned it that initially caught my attention. A little over a week later while out with a friend, I discovered a rather large lymph node on my neck. I have never had swollen lymph nodes before, even when sick, and at the time, I felt great. I wasn't sick nor had I recently been sick. I felt completely healthy except for the discomfort and pressure in my neck.

I was urged by my parents and my own concern to have a doctor check it out. Since I am between jobs and don't have health insurance, I went to an emergency clinic. The doctor told me it was probably an infection that I was showing no other symptoms of (fever or general feelings of being ill) and prescribed me some antibiotics.

Having just left a job in a hospital, I still had some connections and visited, seeing another doctor for a second opinion. He said the same thing and prescribed me a second, slightly stronger, antibiotic. I began feeling incredibly nauseous after taking them but was told it was a possible side effect. However, I have never suffered from any side-effects ever in my life. It was strange to me. But I was told not to worry about it and if the lymph node was still swollen in two or three weeks to see the doctor down here again.

Two weeks passed and it was still there and causing me constant pain, day and night. The pain was crushing at times and prevented me from going to work and even being able to focus long enough to write. So I returned to the doctor who sent me to a specialist. The specialist said the exact same thing and prescribed me a much, much stronger antibiotics and some pain killers which managed to take the edge off of the pain but did not get rid of it completely, telling me to come back in two more weeks if it hadn't gotten any better. It didn't.

This time he decided to do a needle biopsy and sent it off to pathology. The results came back a few days later as "a reactive lymph node". Basically there were no cancer cells present in the samples and therefore was probably just a reaction to this infection every doctor said I had but it simply wasn't responding to antibiotics. So again, I was put on stronger antibiotics and then later a steroid/anti-inflammatory to try and help with the pain and told to come back in two more weeks if it didn't get any better.

Again, it didn't. So we scheduled a surgery last Tuesday to remove the lymph node for diagnosis. Turns out the one swollen lymph node we thought I was dealing with was actually a cluster of them swollen together and I had others throughout my neck as well. The placement of these lymph nodes was what was and is causing me my pain. They are pressing against muscles, tendons, and nerves causing me constant pain in my ear, jaw, teeth, neck, shoulder and chest. Thankfully the medication he prescribed me after the surgery takes care of the pain.

Two days ago I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, one of the few types of cancer that will not show up on a needle biospy. From what I have read and been told, if I was going to have cancer, this is the best one to have. It comes with an 80-85% survivability rate so I am looking at good odds. But it is still shocking nonetheless.

I am moving back home with my parents so I will have a steady support system while going through my treatments. My first appointment with my Oncologist is Tuesday the 15th where we hope to find out my staging and settle a plan of action. I will be updating my status and documenting my journey on my blog, so if you wish to follow, the link is in my profile or the address is **whatwordsmiss (dot) blogspot (dot) com**. (replace the dots with . And delete the spaces)

But back to why I am posting this here. Depending on what the Oncologist decides to do, I am looking at possibly having an update for you by the end of next week or the week after that. I am going to be using my writing as a means to cope hopefully. A sort of distraction. I should find myself with a lot of time on my hands soon. But yeah, I just wanted to explain why there has been such an extended delay with this story and warn you of a possible two week gap before the next update. But I will be updating.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Alright, where to begin. I guess I should start with thanking all of you not only for your patience, but also for your words of support. They have meant a great deal to me. This has indeed been the start of an epic battle but I am a quarter of the way through with my treatments. I just had my third Chemo treatment Thursday and have 9 more to go.**

**I was hoping to have updated much, much sooner but I had more appointments than I expected as well as a weekend stay in the hospital. I am doing better though. I have been dying to write. Hopefully this will be enough to tide you over until the next one. It is nearly 6,000 words. **

**Again, thank you for your patience and support. Also, thank you to Amy and Carrie for helping edit and keep me on track. I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

The lights were out but it didn't matter. The vocal gasps for panted breaths between the desperate kisses were enough to spur Quinn on. It had been too long since she had tasted the sweetness of her wife's kisses, felt the perfectly soft lips pulling at hers, coaxing her further and further into the lust fog of their love.

A strangled moan of absolute need left the back of the blonde's throat as she sat up in the bed with Rachel straddling her lap, tugging as she ran her hands through Quinn's hair roughly. The photographer's hands were restrained as she fought to pull her blouse off behind her back but that didn't stop every other muscle in her body from straining to connect deeper with each kiss.

As soon as she jerked her last hand free, they were on the brunette, gripping her sides firmly and pulling her painfully close. The actress bit down on Quinn's bottom lip as she began to writhe in her lap, desperately in need of her wife's touch after being denied for so long. Each movement was echoed by a whimper, begging. They both needed each other and words would only get in the way right now.

Quinn repositioned her hands on Rachel's hips, just under the hem of her shirt and swiftly glided it up and off the diva who returned her arms around Quinn's neck, one hand cupping her face and pulling her into each kiss. The blonde didn't waste a second more, finding and releasing Rachel's bra before finding the strength to push forward and lay Rachel down, stretching out on top of her. The brunette wrapped her long, short clad legs around her waist and the feel of smooth skin grazing her sides released a primal, almost animalistic energy.

She abandoned her wife's mouth for her neck, biting down on it with little restraint. Her back muscles tensed as she planted all of her weight on her left hand and showed no hesitation slipping the other into her wife's shorts.

_Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep._

Quinn's eyes flew open. She gasped for breath as her heart raced in her chest, trying to place herself in her current location. She was still in London.

"Fuck." She swore in a whisper, still trying to catch her breath before reaching over and grabbing her phone, trying to shut the alarm off.

This was her routine. She woke up in the early, early hours of the morning to call home so she could say good night to the boys and talk with Rachel until she had to go back to sleep herself. Rachel had tried to talk her out of it but gave up after the fourth night. It was something Quinn needed in order to feel connected.

She had been trying to spend all of her free time out and exploring or setting up lunches or dinners with people she had met on this trip, but there were still several hours in her day that she spent either looking out her hotel window, sitting or laying down and just staring as the silence crept in and scared the hell out of her. She had paced over every inch on her suite, thinking of home but not being able to call because everyone else was still living their daily lives as if nothing had changed. She was left to her thoughts of loneliness. No wonder her dreams were so vivid.

She cleared her throat and dialed the home number. As soon as Rachel said hello, her smile of anticipation fell into more of a smirk. "You wont believe the dream I was just having."

The brunette huffed a laugh that seemed empty. "Knowing you as well as I do, I bet I have a decent idea of the thoughts roaming around in your head this evening."

The blonde's smirk faded as she laid in the dark listening to her wife's voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Rachel answered quickly and in a lighter tone. Quinn's brow dropped and she sat up in bed, knowing better. "So how was your day?"

The blonde shook her head, denying the play to move forward beyond whatever issue Rachel was trying to avoid. "It would be a better if I knew what was bothering you." She heard Rachel sigh and could envision her resting her forehead in her hand, not wanting to deal with whatever it was. "Rachel?"

"Quinn?" The response came back quickly and a little sharp, causing the photographer to pull her head back in shock. She hadn't done anything to deserve the attitude and she felt incredibly small at the moment. As if the room had doubled in size and she was just an insignificant object now. There was a lingering pause until Rachel cleared her throat. "I'm fine." She informed her wife slowly and firmly before once again carrying on the conversation normally. "Now, how was your day?"

"Fine." Was all Quinn felt like responding but she forced herself to give more detail." "Had that interview and quick shoot with a popular photography blog that carried me through lunch. Then I met up with Shirley, the woman I was telling you about earlier this week. She showed me around the less touristy places of London."

"I'm not going to have to worry about you running off with her, am I?" This time Quinn could hear a genuine smile in her tone and let the tension leave her for the moment. Maybe she had just caught the diva at a bad time. She would probably apologize before the conversation was over for the night.

"No. No worries there. Despite my history of dating older women, I think that sixty-one might be pushing it a little."

"But just think of all the experience she has?"

Quinn closed her eyes, trying not to, hoping that when she went back to sleep her dreams would still be about Rachel. "But I just got you trained the way I like."

"Or so you think."

"Or so I know. Or at least that is what my dreams tell me."

Neither women could stop from smiling. It was phone calls like this that seemed to block out the bad of the situation and make it more tolerable. "So did you want to talk to the boys?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Can't I talk to you for a bit?"

"The boys need to go to sleep soon."

Again, the tone and quickness of Rachel's response felt like a kick to the chest but Quinn didn't fight it this time. Instead she soaked in the silence as Rachel walked through the house to where the boys were getting ready for bed, never once speaking to one another. It wasn't right. At this point if Quinn had been there in person she would have grabbed the brunette by the arm and pulled her aside, forcing the conversation until the issue was out in the open and dealt with. Just like they always had. Instead, it didn't matter how many times Quinn called her name because Rachel didn't even have the phone up to her ear.

She put a smile on her face when the boys came on the line however and for the few minutes she spent talking to Maddy despite only receiving mumbled responses. What made her smile more was hearing Rachel laugh as she held the phone to her daughter's ear. It really must be just a bad night for the diva and she wasn't up for talking so Quinn didn't fight when Rachel cut their ending conversation short after putting everyone to bed. The blonde's inability to not ask what was wrong again prompted Rachel's insistence that she needed to go to sleep and would talk to her when she woke up again.

~/~/~/~

Quinn released her breath quickly in a light sigh before swallowing around the scratchy and burning knot in the back of her throat. It had been a long time since she had raised her voice at someone in anger. It only depressed her that much more to know it had been at Rachel earlier that morning.

She wouldn't have normally been so quick tempered but something just wasn't right. She could hear the stress in her wife's voice and knew it wasn't the normal 'I have been dealing with three kids and a teenager who inherited her father's sense or rebellion' type stress Quinn had been expecting to hear pouring from every sigh for the last six days. Instead there was a sadness to the normally peppy woman's tone. One that broke Quinn's heart the moment she heard it the previous night.

But where did her anger come from? From the frustration of having Rachel constantly assure her nothing was wrong despite hearing it plainly in her voice no matter how much of a smile the actress tried to put on. Quinn knew her too well and she felt helpless, isolated, and worse. Because as shocked as Quinn was that she and Rachel had their first real screaming match over things unsaid, she was more astonished that the diva was openly lying to her. It was clear that something was wrong and clear that Rachel had no intention of telling her. The combination had sent Quinn over the edge quickly.

After the argument and a thrown cell phone into the hotel bed pillow, Quinn battled with herself. She knew Rachel was probably holding back because she wanted Quinn to enjoy her business trip, but then she was bombarded with a fresh wave of anger because Rachel was suppose to know better than anyone, that keeping the information from her would only upset more, ruining her trip in the process. She rolled her eyes in frustration and pushed the thought from her mind. This wasn't the time.

She swallowed once more before grabbing the prepared glass of water on the podium standing in the center of the stage in the lecture hall she was occupying. Quinn hated these. Well, she loved them too. She could never really pin point what emotion she felt in regards to the lectures she periodically attended. Initially she loved the thought of sharing and seeing others grasp at her words with understanding. Currently, however, as she stood with her back towards her audience who waited eagerly as she flipped through her flash cards, she hated it. The pressure of preforming on top of never being able to decide what to talk about or how best to present her thoughts set her nerves on edge.

Rachel had always told her to just talk about anything and the world would be captivated. It made the blonde smile and blush at the time, but now as she took a deep breath and let it out roughly before discarding the flashcards on the podium she had no intentions of using, she doubted her ramblings' appeal to others beyond her wife.

"One question I get asked at almost every seminar or lecture I do, is 'What is your outline or procedure for insuring that you are able to capture the shot you intended _every_ time?' My answer is simple. You can't." Quinn stated as she turned and slowly paced in front of the large audience in attendance, her voice a little raspy.

"You can _not_ set up every great shot. Some you simply have to let happen or at least allow the thought to present itself naturally in the moment." She continued, grabbing the slide show remote off the stand as she continued to pace the stage. "I have personally spent countless hours sitting in my office or laying in my bed, wracking my brain for an idea of how to do an impending shoot. What emotion am I wanting? What angle? How do I do lighting? How do I want the model posed? All of these questions would be running through my head as I stared off into space and simmered in a mild panic. And I would probably still be there right this minute if it wasn't for my wife telling me to get my ass up and help with our three children."

Snickers were heard throughout the room and any remaining tensions fled from the blonde. She was here to talk and they came to listen.

"Now I am going to be referencing my family frequently during this lecture so allow me to introduce them to you."

She pushed the button and a photo of Rachel appeared on the large screen behind her. The brunette was standing in the kitchen of their old apartment, half turned towards the camera with one hand on her hip in the typical 'Rachel Berry' pose with the broad smile in full few. "This is my lovely wife, Rachel." She clicked again and another photo of Rachel appeared. This one was at one of their holiday dinners. The actress was holding a glass of wine in nearly the same pose as the previous, one hand on the hip with the biggest smile she could manage. "I have known her since we were children. And since that time, she has always known she would be famous." Quinn clicked again to another photo. This one was Rachel on a red carpet event, same 'Rachel Berry' smile and pose. " And since we were children," She clicked again, and again, and again in her pause, each picture of Rachel showing the diva in her signature stance and smile. The audience began to smile at the silent point of predictability. "She has also practiced being prepared for the paparazzi once she _was_ famous." Quinn smiled and allowed everyone to settle again so she could move on to the point she was trying to make.

"That is only a single side of my wife, however."

She glanced around and then clicked once more. This time the picture was of Rachel from one of their walks in the park. The diva was wrapped tightly in her fall coat, her hands in her pockets pulling it snug, her face tilted down towards the ground just slightly. She had been watching where she was walking when Quinn called her name. In the black and white picture the blonde took, Rachel was looking right into the lens with an intense stare, her large eyes showing the depth of thought she had been lost in. "This is also my wife. The harder side to capture. One I have wracked my brain for hours, trying to discover a way to elicit during staged photos only to realize that I can't.

I am a firm believer that the beauty of things and people happens naturally and is typically well guarded. My apprentice once mocked my teaching style because she felt as if she should be enrolled in a psychology class in order to understand how I go about taking my photos. And really, it wouldn't hurt if she had. Though I know she had. She was the teacher's assistant of my college Psychology class. But back to the topic." She steered with her hands in a circle as she changed the direction of her slow stage pacing back towards the other side of the stage, knowing she truly was rambling now. "You can _not_ set up every great shot. Great shots present themselves. I do, however, have three factors for you to think about every time you attempt to take a photo."

She paused and tried not to smile as many in the audience scrambled to find a pen and paper to take notes or pulled out their laptop in preparation. "Number one," She raised her index finger. "Know what it is you are trying to capture. In this photo," She pointed back to the one of Rachel. "I wanted to capture the pensive side of my wife. The side that few get to see or even believe exists. It's a beautiful thing. The second thing you need, is to understand your model. I know Rachel well enough that if she sees a camera, the Berry pose is the only pose I am going to get from her. And knowing that led me to realize that the only way to capture the more elusive side is by surprise."

Quinn paused again while the soft scratching of pen to paper filled the silent room as if it was the loudest noise one could possibly create. She took the time to smile back at the picture and sigh. This was her sixth day in London. Her trip was nearly half over but it had felt like an eternity. Mostly because she was feeling cut off. Not just because of her physical distance from everyone, but because the communication between her and her life back in New York had been nearly severed. She wasn't getting any information from her wife and Adrianne, Kim, Santana, and even her parents were all busy doing their own things, leaving just brief moments to talk that were all filled with them wanting to know about her time in London.

Someone cleared their throat and the blonde snapped out of her daze, turning back to her audience. "And the third thing you need, is to know your audience. You need to know how people think and feel and perceive things. Yes, everyone has their own view of the world, but most of those views are simply a fraction off from one another. Taking this picture, I needed to know what you as my audience would grasp onto the best in order to see and feel the deepness of Rachel that I was hoping to share. Smiles are smiles, and frowns are frowns. I can smile when I'm sad and frown when I am happy. But eyes," She paused and pointed backwards, "they speak to people. They tell you what is inside and can't lie."

Now only if she could see Rachel's eyes right now.

~/~/~/~

Rachel was still sitting in their bed as Quinn gave her afternoon lecture thousands of miles away. Her legs were crossed Indian style, one arm wrapped around her stomach, the other hand raised and pinching the bridge of her nose, trying to keep herself from crying. It was mostly frustration with herself.

She knew she wouldn't be able to hide anything from Quinn and shouldn't have even called this morning unless she was planning on telling her, but she was hoping that just hearing her wife's voice would make her feel that sense of protection like she does. That sense that everything will be fine and nothing can go wrong. It had worked the moment the blonde said hi in return, but faded when the greeting was followed by 'what's wrong'.

The brunette sniffed and lifted her head slightly, now resting her chin in her hand as she looked around the empty bedroom. Beth had taken the little ones to the studio earlier that morning. She was left alone with just her thoughts now. Her regrets. She silently cursed herself and her pride. It was the other reason, the one Quinn didn't know about, that kept her from telling the blonde what was going on. She was too embarrassed.

Last night, just before Quinn had called to give her good-nights to everyone despite it being the early morning hours for her in London, Scott had stopped by to talk to her.

_"Hey." She greeted with a broad smile as her manager and friend let himself into the house. "You look a little rough there, Buddy. Tina's not keeping you up all night on her quest for your first little one, is she?" The diva teased as she approached the taller man and embraced him warmly._

_ "Ah, no." He answered, raising his eyebrows and running his hand through his newly graying blonde hair in his embarrassment. "She gives me a night off every now and then."_

_ "Oh?" Rachel's chipper mood shifted slightly as her mind began to race, trying to find what other issues could be causing the man seem so exhausted. She absently picked up the clutter of toys lining the couch, adding them to the pile on the floor so the man could take a seat. _

_ Scott hesitated slightly, glancing around at the disorganized state of the typically immaculate home. He cleared his throat and slapped his hands to his thighs before taking a seat, waiting for Rachel to do the same._

_ "So," She said, leading into the conversation. "To what do I owe this most unexpected yet always greatly welcomed visit? And sorry for the mess." She added, seeing the man still glancing around in inspection. "I've been falling behind while the boys have been going into overdrive it seems."_

_ The man smiled warmly and shook his head. "It's really not that bad," he lied, "Don't worry about it. I was just taking in what I have to look forward to once we do get pregnant." He explained and they both laughed. _

_ Scott was her sanity. Quinn was the morale support at home, feeling the emotions of the actress as her own. When Rachel should be excited, Quinn was excited. When Rachel was upset or worried about something, Quinn felt the same but pushed her wife through like she always had. Scott on the other hand was a solid rock she could cling to during any rising level of stress. She smiled to herself knowing that he and Tina would always be there for her. Adrianne and Kim were there too, but the other married couple just seemed to have a lot less stress in their personal lives. It was a calmness in the chaos._

_ "So, I heard back about the audition you did a few days ago." He paused, searching for the right words while Rachel sat in anticipation. "And... they... are looking to go in a different direction with the lead. So what I am thinking we should do is find some time when you can come into the office and we can filter through the other possibilities that have popped up and put all of our energy towards those."_

_ Rachel had stopped listening awhile ago but the man continued to rattle on in the background, trying to steer her as far away from the one thing she was actually focusing on. She wasn't chosen. She had been turned down._

_ The brunette shifted in her spot on the couch, nodding her head to whatever her friend was saying but she was elsewhere. It had been years since she had been turned down for a role. Any role. TV, Broadway, anything. She figured it must have been nearly a decade in fact. Since she landed her breakthrough role. She was an A-lister. The type of actress people fought over because they knew tickets would sell just by having her name listed in association with the production. Hell, some actresses wouldn't even try out if they discovered she was interested in the role because there was no point. She was Rachel Berry._

_ "What were their reasons?"  
>Scott stopped mid sentence and looked at her in confusion. "I'm sorry?"<em>

_ "What were their reasons for deciding to 'go in a different direction' as you politely phrased it?"_

_ The man groaned and let out a long sigh. This was Rachel he was talking to. There was no need to delay for tact's sake. "They sited your unpredictable nature with your contracts. They are looking for a four year commitment from their lead. They also mentioned concerns with... the longevity of you fully encompassing the part."_

_ She dropped her brow and looked at the fidgeting man hard. "Scott..."_

_ The took a deep breath and let it out through his nose, pinning his eyes on the floor in front of him. "They believe you are too old for the part."_

_ The verbose protests of ridiculousness failed her at that moment. Their accusations of her being unpredictable and unwilling to sign a four year contract... that she understood and was expecting an issue with to some degree. Everyone had warned her about that. She had left on too many hiatuses but she didn't regret any of them. She got married. Quinn gave birth to their first children. She had one herself. She wouldn't regret any of them. But being told she was too old? The thought had never once crossed her mind. She was only 32. Granted the part was for a twenty-something year old but still. She was Rachel Berry! Well, Rachel Fabray._

_ Rachel closed her eyes, instantly dreading having to tell Quinn. Hell, telling anyone. Maybe she just wouldn't. They didn't need to know she didn't get a part, only if she had. And Scott would only tell Tina if he hadn't already and thankfully the woman was well aware of the diva's ego. She would give an apologetic smile and never mention it again. But everyone else... _

_ "Well," She said, breaking the silence. She met his eyes briefly and flashed a quick but clearly fake smile. "On to the next one then."_

The phone ringing woke Rachel from her trance. She hesitated before looking at the caller ID. She knew Quinn would be calling back after her lecture to apologize for her part of the argument but not relent until Rachel told her what was going on but she wasn't ready for that. Her damaged ego still needed time to heal. But thankfully it was the studio's number on the display.

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's Kim."

"Hey." Rachel tried to sound upbeat but rolled her eyes at herself. Why did she always have to be such the actress? "What's going on? Sounds like you have a little one who isn't too happy right now." The diva noted the child crying in the background as she picked at the sheets on her bed.

"Yeah. Oddly it's Julian."

Her motions stopped abruptly. "Julian? He's crying?"

"Yeah. Beth said he had a stomach ache this morning and I'm guessing it has gotten a little worse. I didn't know if you wanted to pick him up and have him home with you today. I don't know what your plans are."

It had been to meet up with Scott to figure out where they were going next but that could wait. Her babies came first. Especially when they needed their momma. "I'll come by and pick him up. He might just need an afternoon of cuddling and Wizard of Oz to make him forget his tummy ache."

She heard Kim laugh lightly. "He sounds just like Quinn except for the Oz part."

"Yeah. That's my influence and I can't deny it. They don't even ask Quinn to put it on for them anymore. They come straight to me. I am the keeper of Oz."

~/~/~/~

If it had started off as regret for letting her temper get the best of her, it had changed now. Quinn was sitting in her hotel suite living area, slumped down in the oversized chair, staring at her cell phone on the coffee table in front of her. She had tried calling Rachel four times within the last hour. The first two times rang until her voice mail picked up. The third time she was actually hung up on and the fourth time she realized Rachel had shut her phone off completely.

Frustration grew as she played each attempt over and over in her head and Quinn sat forward abruptly, grabbed her phone, and hit Rachel's number. Nothing. She dialed the house and it rang until the answering machine picked up. Finally she dialed Kim and Adrianne, desperate for any answer.

"Hello?" It was Kim.

"Kim. Hey. It's Quinn. I know it's, what..." She looked at her watch and did the quick time change. "You're probably eating dinner."

"We are." She responded lightly. "But how can we help you?"

The response came out quickly and flatly. Quinn wasn't up for any games. "Tell me what the hell is going on with Rachel."

"What do you mean?"

Quinn rested her elbows on her knees and hung her head, running her free hand through her hair. "She isn't answering the phone. I'm pretty sure she even shut her phone off awhile ago."

There was a pause but Quinn knew Kim well enough to know it was a pause in thought, not a delay in telling her something. Kim always 'ummed' during those. "Well, Julian wasn't felling well today. She might be trying to get him to sleep and shut off her phone so he could."

Quinn bit her bottom lip. That was plausible. If he hadn't been feeling well then Rachel would have been stressed and exhausted and not wanting to tell the blonde in fear of her insisting on coming home. Now she was expecting an irate diva to call her back and chastise her for her unusual lack of patience. "Okay. But that doesn't explain last night. She wasn't acting like herself."

Kim paused again as she thought and reached over to wipe Aubrey's mouth with her napkin, earning a wide smile from the toddler in return. The brunette couldn't help but smile herself. "Maybe she's having some more issues with Beth."

The photographer's head snapped up quickly. "She's having problems with Beth?"

"Ummmm," Kim paused but this time it was to keep from saying anything else. "Let me hand you over to Adrianne." She passed the phone across the table and raised her hands in surrender when her wife took it, putting it to her ear."

"Hello?"

"What problems is Rachel having with Beth?" The blonde was now standing and beginning a slow pacing of the room, desperate to be filled in on all that she had been left out of.

"Easy there tiger." Adrianne warned, playfully glaring at her wife for dropping this on her. Especially since Kim had always lectured her on staying out of everyone else's business. "It's nothing Rachel can't handle. Beth has just been pushing to see where her boundaries are. She's made a new friend with one of the cute waitresses from the coffee shop, disappeared after work until dark without telling Rachel. I knew, but she didn't share it with her. She's also been raising your wife's blood pressure by bringing home a male model or two."

Quinn's blood pressure would have risen too if her heart hadn't just stopped. "What did she do with them?"

Adrianne smirked. "Beth or Rachel?"

"Adrianne!"  
>"Do you really think Rachel would have allowed them to do anything while she was there? Calm down. This is probably why Rachel didn't even bother to tell you."<p>

The photographer didn't like it for whatever reasons Rachel had. She took a deep breath and ran her hand over her face, trying to calm her fraying nerves. "How are you two doing by the way? Sorry I didn't ask before."

"Ah, we're alright. Just discussing setting up another cycle when you get back actually."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But right now it's just dinner."

"Oh, right. Sorry." The blonde winced at her rudeness. "I'll try Rachel in a bit and thank you for filling me in on everything."

The other photographer shrugged, looking at her daughter. "We're family. We are here to tell each others dirty secrets. Just of easy on her, okay? She's taking on a lot of crap so you can enjoy your trip. She's probably doing what she thinks is best."

The tension left Quinn's shoulders in defeat. "I know."

"Good. Because if I were in her shoes, your butt would have been on a plane days ago."

"Adrianne..."

"Yeah?"

"You stopped helping two sentences ago."

"Good night."

"Good night."

Quinn let out another long sigh and dropped her phone onto the chair before moving to the small window behind it. She had gone off on Rachel this morning when it seems all the woman had been trying to do was handle everything so Quinn wouldn't have to.

She didn't like this separation thing anymore. Not just for the original reasons she noted- solitude, guilt, simply not having Rachel there to hold or the kids to spoil. She didn't like it now because of the damage it was doing. She had too much of a control issue still and Rachel's desire to protect her was still far too strong as well.

Before she could think any further, her phone rang with Rachel's ring tone. It's not every day your ring tone can actually be a song your wife sung. The blonde smiled, mentally preparing her apology for after her wife spent the next twenty minutes lecturing her on calling so many times and knowing Rachel would have returned her call as soon as she could.

"Hi." Quinn greeted sheepishly, biting her bottom lip.

"You need to come home. Now!"


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This took me a lot longer to put together than I was hoping but I'm happy enough with the fact I did. I have the time to write. I just have issues focusing enough most days to give it a decent go and you all deserve the best I can give. Hopefully this works for that.**

**I have the basic outline as to how this fic is going to progress. I just haven't decided how in depth I want to go with the story really. Let me know what you think.**

**I want to once again thank all of you who have reviewed, sent emails, and personal messages to me. Even if I haven't responded, just know that I have read every single one of them and found them to make me smile when I needed it most. I'm doing alright. Three more treatments to go before we find out if we need to add any others. I'll keep you posted and hopefully post more often.**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy. Also, very rough editing. Sorry for any mistakes and typos.**

~/~/~/~

Rachel sat sideways with her legs curled underneath her in the large chair next to the bed, leaning over and gently running her fingers through her sleeping son's hair before removing it to quickly wipe away a silent, stray tear with the sleeve of her oversized sweater. She then tucked her hand under her chin and her other arm around her body as she molded back into the seat in her exhaustion. But her eyes stayed alert, searching over Julian's features. He was starting to look more like Quinn the older he got. Gabriel too obviously, but he was hopefully fast asleep at the moment in his own bed.

Judy was at the house helping Beth keep him preoccupied and answering all the tough questions Rachel was relieved not to be responsible for. Like where his brother was and why. And why Rachel wasn't home, hoping he wasn't drawing a parallel between her absence and Quinn's. She tried to keep herself from instinctively fearing that he would grow up with abandonment issues, seeing her wife's arched eyebrow in her mind as a sign of how ridiculous she was being even entertaining the thought. But still, a hospital just wasn't the place for three kids right now.

Just then Julian's IV pump began rhythmically beeping, indicating the bag of fluids was empty. After settling herself from the shock of the harsh noise cutting through the silence of the early morning hour, Rachel quickly reached over and pressed the silence button the nurse has shown her then the call button itself.

"Can I help you?" A grainy voice asked through the intercom.

"His IV is beeping." She answered calmly, returning her hand to the lightly stirring child's hair. Like his mother, it was the trick to getting him to sleep. For all the kids actually. All it took was a little reassurance that she was still there and they drifted off into a peaceful place.

"The nurse will be right in."

"Thank you."

Rachel smiled lightly as her son rolled onto his side facing her to get more comfortable but fell right back to sleep. She brushed his lengthy hair behind his ear and trailed the back of her fingers over his cheek before retracting it completely. He was going to be okay.

"Rachel?"

The actress turned to look over her right shoulder to see Quinn in the doorway behind her. There was no hesitation before she was up and crashing into her wife's arms. Nothing had a chance to register to her. Not what the blonde was wearing, the color of her blouse, the look on her face. Nothing. All Rachel cared about was feeling their bodies touch. Turns out she needed that physical reassurance as well.

Quinn stumbled back a step from the impact but reveled in the crushing embrace, pulling the smaller woman even closer with an arm around her should and the other hand lacing into the dark tresses that wafted their scent into her nose. Her eyes screwed shut as she fought to keep from crying and after a few seconds of no movement, the blonde only shifted her head, turning it into her wife's neck and kissing it lightly. She opened her mouth to speak but it came out a soft, chocking half-sob.

Rachel lifter her head, turning it to kiss Quinn's cheek before quickly moving to a chaste and then deeper kisses on her lips. Her breath caught in there lungs when Quinn took control and connected with an even deeper, lingering, and sensual kiss, holding her there like she had wanted to for the last week.

When they pulled away, their foreheads remained pressed to one another as they panted to catch their breath. Hands moving on their own to touch and feel as much of the other as they could, relearning the skin and warmth they brushed over. But the smiles on their faces were that of a shared embarrassment that they couldn't even go a week without seeing each other and not feeling completely lost. But Quinn stubbornly stood by her often used excuse. They had lost enough time being apart after high school. They were meant to be together.

"I missed you so much." Rachel confessed in a whisper as she played with the collar on Quinn's blouse, wanting nothing more than to pull her closer and into another series of affectionate kisses but restrained herself. Barely. Licking her lips to keep them occupied.

"I missed you too, Baby. And I don't care how much you protest and pout and threaten, I'm not going on another extended trip without it being all of us going."

The actress kissed her quickly before wrapping her in another bone shattering hug. "Deal." There would never be an argument about that. But that was only half the reason for Rachel's need to feel the photographer's arms around her right now.

Quinn just held her close for what seemed like an hour but her eyes opened and shifted to the reason she was here now. "How is he doing?"

Rachel reluctantly loosened her grip and backed up, keeping hold of the photographer's hand as they stepped closer to their sleeping child. Quinn took the seat where Rachel had been and began mimicking the motions in his hair with her free hand as well. The actress smiled weakly but feeling stronger now that she wasn't so alone anymore. "Sleeping. But better."

Quinn wanted nothing more than to scoop him up in her arms and hold him, tell him she was there and everything was going to be okay but he looked so peaceful. "So what happened, Rachel? And what happened to you?" She asked pulling back the sleeve of the actresses sweater to reveal a bulky black brace engulfing her left hand being.

Rachel moved close as Quinn sat back in the chair, sitting on the photographer's lap. "I don't know..." She whined at the recollection. "The whole thing started out with what everyone _thought _was just a stomach bug he might have picked up from another kid at that damn park I was so insistent about living near." Quinn heard the tinge of guilt in her voice and pulled her to lean against her shoulder, kissing her temple in a show of support. "But you know how he is with talking. All he would say is 'Mama, it hurts'. I kept him at home after he started crying for Kim but he seemed content laying on the couch and watching TV. I made him some soup but when I went to check on him after a bit he was burning up and covered in sweat."

She sat up and cradled her head in her hands, trying desperately to keep herself from crying now. The blonde ran a soothing hand down the woman's back, trying to calm her. She hated seeing her wife this stressed.

"The doctor's office was closed." Rachel continued, removing her hands to look over their son. "So I gave him some Tylenol to break the fever but then he started getting sick. I just felt so bad for him. He just kept crying and wanting me to hold him. I was going to call Mom for some suggestions but I decided the emergency room would be better. That way nothing was missed, you know?"

"Yeah." Quinn nodded, proud of Rachel for remaining level headed throughout the whole thing. Thinking back on the nervous wreck the woman had been right after the twin's birth, it truly was an amazing transformation. "And so the doctor said it is his appendix?"

Rachel swallowed down the last bit of her threatening tears and nodded her head as well. "You kept calling and I wanted to tell you what was going on but I was trying to listen to what the doctor was saying about the cause, symptoms, and surgery. That's when I turned the phone off. I'm just so glad you could make it back before his surgery."

"So am I." Quinn whispered, Pulling Rachel to lean into her again. The brunette didn't resist, laying her head on her wife's shoulder and watched as the blonde stretched to hold their son's hand as he continued to sleep.

"Ah. Just in time I see." The nurse stated softly with a smile as she entered the room to hang another bag of fluids, meeting both Quinn and Rachel's eyes briefly. "He is first up for surgery this morning, so we will be wheeling him down stairs in about an hour."

"That soon?" Rachel asked sitting up and grabbing her phone to start calling the family. Making a mental list of who needed to be called first.

"Well the surgery team is already in for an emergency that came in last night so they are looking to get him down a little bit sooner than scheduled." She informed them. Quinn nodded in response as her thoughts drifted while Rachel stood up and moved out of the room to talk on the phone. "Did you have any questions? I know you're sort of arriving late to the party."

The blonde sat forward and rested her elbows on her knees but her eyes were glued to Julian. "This is a pretty routine surgery, right?" She knew the answer, having had her appendix taken out when she was younger as well, but still felt the need to be reassured. She was also hoping it would help give her a boost in energy. The day had been stressful thinking about her argument with Rachel, the night even worse with no sleep, a plane ride, and thinking about Julian. And now, still there was no time to stop and even think as his surgery was pushed up. Oh, and jet lag.

She cleared her throat as the thought of it all seemed to be another pound of weight pushing down on her.

"Pretty much. There are always risks involved with any type of surgery but I assure you he is in good hands." The nurse replied, finishing with the bag of fluids and turning her full attention to the concerned woman. "Is he yours?" Quinn looked up to her, unsure of what she was implying exactly. "I mean, he is yours." She motioned to Quinn with one hand and to the door Rachel exited through with the other. "I was asking biologically. He looks like you but she seems as attached to him as his real mother would be."

Quinn's eyes must have hardened because the woman faltered, closing her eyes and blushing in embarrassment.

"That came out wrong. What I meant to say is that there is no way of saying who is his biological mother because he is so well loved and cared for."

"Yes he is." Her statement was firm but not harsh. She really didn't believe the woman had meant to lessen Rachel's role in Julian or Gabriel's life, or her role in Madeline's for that matter. But the conversation was unsettling. The other blonde must have sensed it too, and with a quick nod the nurse left, preventing herself from insulting the women further.

"Mommy?"

In one fluid movement Quinn slid from the chair to the side of Julian's bed and fresh tears welled up in her eyes. "Hey, Baby. How are you feeling?"

She gave a soft smile as he rolled on to his back and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, never really giving her an answer. "Where's Mama?"

"She's right outside." She said softly before turning to the door. "Rachel."

The brunette poked her head inside the hospital room and quickly ended her current phone conversation. She rushed over to the other side of the bed, kissing his forehead before sitting down. She couldn't stop herself from thinking that they looked like overly doting parents taking their concerns too far but this was the first time since the twins' birth that something serious had happened.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked softly and he nodded his head.

"Can we go home now?"

Quinn watched the interactions, thinking back to all those nights Rachel had tried to convince her that Julian never spoke to her and wondered if they would ever have a close relationship being as different as they were. "No, Sweety. The medicine is making you feel better right now but if we go home you'll feel sick again. Do you remember what I told you last night? About what the doctor is going to do?"

He didn't say anything this time, just looked down as he played with the blanket between his fingers. Quinn could see he was scared. "Are you going to get a cool scar to show off to your brother and sister?" She asked with a wide smile as he looked up to her. "I have one. In fact, I got mine the same way. Same thing happened to me when I was just a little older than you." He looked up to her, waiting for her to continue. She stood up and lifted the bottom of her shirt slightly, exposing part of her stomach. She took a second to search for the faded scar then pointed to it. "See. Right there."

He looked at it and then to the standing woman, almost studying her. "Was it scary?"

The blonde smiled softer and sat back down. "It was a little. I didn't know who all the people were and what they were doing, but you know what? I was just laying in bed with the doctor and nurses around me one second, and then the next I was back in my room with your Grandma and Grandpa Russel the next. Just like that." She said snapping her fingers. "It was over and I didn't remember a thing."

"You don't remember?"

She shook her head and smiled, trying to help him with his reservations and fears while hiding her own. Rachel wasn't the only good actress in the family. "There's nothing to remember. You see this?" She asked pointing to the IV that was in his arm, wrapped nicely in clean white bandage and he nodded. "They give you a medicine through it that makes you go to sleep. And when you wake up, it's all over."

He looked to Rachel with bright eyes and she nodded her head. "Really." Her tone was assuring.

"Then we can go home?"

Both women laughed and Rachel answered. "We might have to stay one more night or so but yes. Then after that we can go home and you can show off to Gabriel that you have a cool scar like Mommy and he doesn't."

"Think you can handle that?" Quinn asked ruffling his hair and gaining a smile from the boy as he nodded his head. "Good. But no more after that. You're aging me and your mother with worry."

~/~/~/~

Beth was kind of glad when no one argued with her suggestion of being the one to stay at the house with all the kids. Not that she wasn't worried about Julian, of course she was. But there were enough people there already. People she felt were more deserving in the sense that they had been actively present in his life. That belief was backed up when Santana offered to be the one to stay and help her with the three remaining kids. Neither of them were use to having a group of people around as well.

Santana had been on her own for years now and Beth was an only child raised in a single parent house hold. Nothing wrong with it but an awkwardness seemed to fill any situation where more than just one or two people in her extended family were present. It was something she figured she would eventually adjust to or was at least trying to. She hadn't even been there two weeks yet so it was still understandable in her mind.

In the living room Santana laid on the sofa with Maddy sitting on her stomach, her small hands gripping the Latina's thumbs as they danced to the music coming from the movie the other two children were watching in the same room. Both Gabe and Aubrey were curled up in the chair watching contently and seemingly oblivious to any worry the adults were battling.

Beth watched on silently by the bottom of the staircase. She had just come up from her room to make sure Santana had everything under control and wasn't burying herself in debt via the cussing penalty. Everyone knew that if nothing else, Gabriel would make a great accountant or financial planner one day. He would probably be a millionaire by ten if Santana didn't start watching her words but she seemed to be handling things just fine at the moment.

The light smile on Beth's face faded slightly as another thought came over her and she looked up the stairs to the second floor, debating for a moment before quietly sneaking up the first few steps, hoping they didn't creak. When one did her heart thudded in her chest and she impulsively held her breath. Glancing back to the living room, she made sure she hadn't disturbed the lounging crew and then continued. She knew she didn't have to sneak. This was her home now. She had been told over and over again and even believed and felt like it was slowly becoming that way. But there was still a need for secrecy right now. She didn't want anyone else to know she was doing.

It wasn't for the typical reasons though. She wasn't about to do something she shouldn't do or that other's would disapprove of. She just wanted to do it without anyone interrupting. Once she got to the second floor she turned to the left and headed straight to Quinn's office, gently opening the door, entering, and closing it quietly behind her.

The morning sun was shining through the large, curtained windows on the far wall, illuminating the small room and almost making the cream colored walls glow with warmth. A glow that was highlighted by the contrasting dark wood floors, ceiling, and furniture positioned around the room. There were bookshelves to the right, lining the interior wall that she studied as she walked further into the room. Some of the books were manuals on different cameras or photography techniques, but others were on philosophy and classic literature. She couldn't help but to reach out and drag the tip of her finger along the spines as she passed.

She froze when her foot hit something on the ground and she jumped back, fearing she had just damaged something expensive but the sturdy and well cushioned camera bag protected its contents. Hesitantly she bent down and pulled the black bag from the bottom shelf and unzipped it. A buzz washed over her as she lifted the camera body from it's spot and then chose the smallest lense stored in the compartment next to it. She had never had a camera that came with a separate lens and hadn't had to set one up in the studio yet so she struggled for a moment to get it lined up just right, being extra delicate with it having remembered Adrianne's lectures on how expansive they can be. She also knew that Quinn's cameras were her non-breathing babies.

Once assembled, she brought the camera to her face then quickly down again when she remembered to remove the lens' cap. Looking around the room, she blindly messed with the zoom, realizing with great interest that the lens actually had two places she could adjust, one to zoom and the other to focus. After her excitement faded she rolled her eyes at herself. Of course she would need to focus the picture. This was a _real_ camera. Not a point and click.

Trying to push her embarrassment aside, she stood back up and walked to Quinn's desk. As she rounded it, eying the monitor, she set the camera down and took a seat. From there she began a silent debate as she rocked back and forth in the chair before reaching over and turning the computer on. She knew this was an invasion of privacy but she wasn't trying to get into anything she knew Quinn wouldn't willingly show or tell her about anyway. Her mother simply wasn't there to do it for her.

When the screen flickered on Beth's brow dropped and she began chewing on the inside of her lip while her mind raced, trying to think of what Quinn's password might be. With a quick shrug of her shoulders she typed in the most obvious choice, 'Rachel'. That didn't work. She figured if it wasn't 'Rachel', Quinn wouldn't have chosen between their children, picking one of their names as a password and not the other. So she sat back in the chair again and thought some more.

"How about the ever predictable 'password'?" Beth asked aloud as she typed in her next guess. Nothing. But the computer did prompt her to look at the password hint. "She is...?" She mumbled as she brought her hand to her mouth and thought harder, knowing that sounded familiar, but nothing came to her. It was probably going to bug her all night but she would do some research into it. Just a small stumble on her path that she would have to recover from.

But in her defeat Beth turned the computer off and stood up, grabbing the large camera once more. It was fairly heavy. Heavier than she thought it would be at least. She looked at it and returned to chewing on her lip as she thought. Glancing down at the bottom of the bookcase where she had left the bag she saw several others nearly filling the shelf and made her choice. Quickly she disassembled the camera and placed it back into the bag, zipping it shut but set it on the desk. She then turned her attention to rearranging the remaining bags so the space her's left was no longer as noticeable.

Once satisfied that the absence of one would go unnoticed, she shouldered the last bag and left the office, making sure to quietly close the door behind her.

~/~/~/~

"We _are_ old." Rachel stated out of the blue causing Quinn to hesitate for a moment. They had just left the waiting room after Julian had been taken back for surgery. The fresh air seemed to be calling them so they strolled out hand in hand to the small central garden located between the various hospital wings.

"_We're_ old?" She asked with a light laugh, having been told by her wife hundreds of times now that she was the only aging one in their relationship. In fact, she could remember the lists of reasons why the diva was, as she put, ageless while Quinn constantly gained more and more traits and habits that showed her growing 'time of experience'. The glasses were the first example but Rachel said they didn't really count because they were sexy as hell. Quinn forgot to listen to the rest as she played into the flirtatious smirk her wife had been wearing instead.

"Yeah." Rachel responded without hesitation, releasing her wife's hand to take a seat on a low-rise wall and staring off into the indistinguishable distance. "We're old. I mean, look at us." Quinn arched an eyebrow and raised her hands, palms facing up, at a loss. They weren't that old. "You know what I mean. You have to. I'm not talking about how we look. I'm still not sure if you are capable of actually looking as old and wrinkly as I tease you about being but I do plan on sticking around long enough to find out."

Quinn couldn't help but smile. "Thanks for the warning." The blonde teased, but she was still confused as to what was causing Rachel to bring this all up as she took a seat on the wall sideways, facing her. Her hand seemed to instinctively find its way to rest on the brunette's leg, re-establishing the connection that had been lost when Rachel let go of her hand.

"Sure thing. But I'm talking about our lives. We're just so... settled." The actress cringed and shook her shoulders after the word.

Quinn's expression hardened slightly. "What's so wrong with being settled? This _is_ what we wanted. To be married with little ones running around." She could see the corner of her wife's mouth tweak up in a smile as she looked out into the distance again.

"And I would never change that." She assured the photographer. She wouldn't. It didn't matter what she had to give up to maintain what they had built between them. "I love you and our children more than anything in this world. You _are_ my world."

Quinn leaned forward and pecked her cheek. "And you are mine." The last week and caused her to realize just how much her life revolved around Rachel and vice versa. What Quinn wasn't understanding is that that was what Rachel was trying to point out as an issue of sorts.

"I guess... I don't know. I just feel _too_ complacent in what our lives have become these last, I don't know, maybe two years. It's just the same every day. This emergency with Julian is the most exciting thing that has happened in our lives since Madeline was born. That and your trip." She added the last as an after thought.

Now it was clear why Rachel had pushed so hard for Quin to go to London. Or at least it was to her. She wanted her wife to enjoy it because Quinn had wanted to go but also because she wanted that life or excitement of experience back in their world, even if it was just for Quinn. She could live vicariously through it. Read the happiness and passion on her wife's face when she returned and feel it as her own as she listened to the stories brought back.

Rachel crossed her legs and her arms across her body. "Now with my dads moving to the city, we wont even have our trip to Lima every year. Everyone will be here. Which is a good thing in its own way. Don't get me wrong." She glanced quickly to Quinn who was content listening as she voiced her opinions. There was no judgment in her hazel eyes. She was there to listen and support, even if she was mildly confused still. "I am beyond thankful to have family and friends around who love and support us, but..."

"But... having them here every day takes away the experience of _seeing _them?" Quinn finished for her.

The brunette bowed her head but nodded in response. She felt guilty for some reason. Maybe not guilty, but ungrateful. She had an amazing life, one to be proud of. She had left a small town for the big city like she had always dreamed. Found success on Broadway and television. Won a Tony and Grammy. Seen her name in lights and in papers. She had found love with a woman who was and gave everything she needed including a family of three perfect children. All of it fulfilled every dream she had ever had.

Rachel lifted her head slowly as she played the thoughts over and over in her head. "All of my dreams have come true." Her tone was full of realization and surprise and a tiny bit of sadness.

The silence stood for a few seconds longer before Quinn sighed lightly and scooted closer so her left leg straddled the wall behind Rachel and the other dropped down slightly as it bumped the diva's. She sat there for a moment until Rachel turned and looked at her, her eyes silently asking for help. "Then I guess you're just going to have to dream up some new ones."

"You make it sound so easy."

Quinn smiled and hooked one arm around her wife's torso and the other under her crossed legs, pulling her closer. She kissed her cheek again and nuzzled into her hair, loving how the actress tilted her head towards her to contribute to the contact. "It can be." She whispered. "I have it easy when it comes to dreaming. I spent so much of my past and childhood telling myself that my dreams were never going to happen, so now that they have," She trailed off to kiss her wife's shoulder. "Every day I wake up and see you and the kids, I feel a fulfillment I never expected to experience. You're different though."

Rachel lifted her head and Quinn did the same, knowing the other woman would be looking for an explanation with a frown on her face.

"You've always had big dreams, Rachel. But regardless of how big of a dream it was, you were also very realistic in your understanding of how much work it was going to take for you to achieve it. You poured your heart and energy into seeing them come true with an amazing amount of focus and drive. That determination, however, kept you from looking beyond those dreams and onto the next ones." She paused as Rachel studied her eyes. "We're not old. Having kids doesn't need to slow us down or be 'the end'." She mocked playfully, earning a laugh and blush from her wife as she looked away trying to hide. It was the most adorable sight Quinn could imagine could imagine and was happy she was home early, even if it did mean a headache about all of her requirements she left unfulfilled in London.

"You love throwing my dramatics back at me, don't you?" The actress asked looking back at her with a smile.

"I don't get to tease you much so I take advantage of the opportunities I get. But seriously." She continued as she took Rachel's hand in hers, playing with the slender fingers while chill bumps from the connection with the smooth skin ran up her arms and down her spine. "Marriage and kids don't have to be the last great thing you do. You've just been at home too long I think. This last break has been pretty long and you're itching to get back out there. So why don't you see if Scott knows of some auditions coming up."

The smile that Rachel had been holding slowly fell and she looked away again. Quinn's smile fell as well.

"That." The blonde pointed firmly. "I have been dying for days now to see that look. I could hear it in your voice but now I know it is something serious. What's going on, Rachel?" Rachel turned her head and began to lean away, having no intention of sharing the story of her rejection. "What's wrong?" Quinn asked more firmly as the smaller woman scooted down the wall.

"Nothing. I don't want to talk about it."

That was a lie and Quinn knew it. It felt like a kick to her chest as well. "So you're just going to leave me in the dark?" She asked with accusation in her tone. Rachel only scoffed rolled her eyes as she looked away. "And here I was thinking that the only reason you would keep from telling me is because you didn't want to ruin my trip."

"I didn't!" Rachel shot back quickly. She really hadn't. But the whole bruised ego thing was possibly a little higher on her list of why not bring it up.

"But that's not the only reason. And from what I can tell, not the bigger reason either." Quinn knew her too well. It was comforting and annoying at the same time when she wanted to bury her head in the ground and completely ignore something.

"Why do you have to over analyze everything?" The actress asked in frustration as she stood up, looking down at her wife with her arms wide open, waiting for a response. "Maybe I just want to keep one or two things to myself. Am I not aloud to do that?"

Quinn didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. Arguing with Rachel over the phone had been bad enough. Now seeing her wife as it unfolded was even worse. They had had little tiffs every now and then throughout their marriage but they had always been worked through, taking each step as it was shown. But Rachel was being defiant against their routine and all logic in the blonde's mind.

Rachel dropped her hands to her side and looked away with a sigh again. She hated this knee jerk, defensive reaction every time Quinn tried to help with whatever was bothering her but her bruised ego wasn't ready for the help. She was still in denial and letting the caring woman help her through it was the acceptance of the rejection she just wasn't ready for yet.

"Can I at least know what happened to your hand?"

The brunette pursed her lips at the tone of the other woman's voice, already expecting to be shot down again. "I hurt it."

That answer was just another slap to the face and Quinn snapped back. "Clearly. Care to tell me how it happened or am I not privileged enough for that information?" She closed her eyes and cursed at herself as the Fabray hidden below the calm surface darted out to make the cutting remark. Seems that not even time can keep the defenses from her past from popping up when she felt emotionally threatened. It was amazing how they could bring both the best and the worst out of each other.

The silence seemed to swell in the moment, causing tension to rise. Everything combined was smothering. The quiet, the anger, the hurt, the distance between them especially. It was amazing how space could be choking.

Rachel's hands were on her hips now, her eyes still not meeting the blonde's as she debated whether or not she was in the mood to talk at all but part of her knew that what she was doing was highly unfair. Quinn wasn't just prying and wanting to know everything and anything that happened. Her heart and feelings were intertwined and connected to it. "We got into a car wreck on the way here."

Quinn's eyes widened and she jumped to her feet as she made her way to the other woman. All of her anger immediately gone."Are you okay? Is it broken? Did you get them to look at it when you got here? Do you need to have surgery? Are you hurting? Do you need some medicine?" The questions ran a million miles an hour until Rachel held up her hand and stepped back as Quinn reached her, putting distance between them again. This time the smothering distance felt like a knife that cut off the air from her lungs but she wasn't given the time to let her emotions show.

Rachel's frustration was still very much at the surface. "I'm fine. It's nothing to stress over so calm down already!"

The blonde just stood there, her arms still slightly stretched out from anticipating embracing her lover. Maintaining the stance was heart wrenching for her as Rachel looked away. Slowly she bowed her head, lowered her hands into her pockets, and swallowed around the lump in her throat. She had never thought that there would be this awkwardness in their relationship. But now that there was, she wasn't wanting to react the same way she had before, as if she was back in high school and needing to verbally beat someone down to hide her own hurt. Saying the things that were jumping to her mind now like, 'feel free to fill me in when you feel like it. I am only your wife' or 'you can keep all your secrets but can you at least tell me if should be expecting divorce papers?' were never going to help the situation.

So instead she tried to push the heavy pressure in her chest away and ignore it for the moment, clearing her throat to speak softly. "I'm not going to push or ask you anymore." Rachel cautiously lifted her eyes to meet Quinn's but the blonde was looking at the ground. "You have your reasons for shutting me out. So I'll let you have them without prying."

This didn't feel at all like a victory to Rachel. "Quinn, I-"

"No." She waved her off. "I need to respect your need to work through it on your own if you feel the need to. If I had done that from the start, then you wouldn't be reacting the way you are and my feelings wouldn't be getting hurt. So I'll back off. It's just not what I feel I should be doing right now. You're my wife and you're hurting, so I'm hurting. I have been so far away and feeling useless yet here I am feeling the exact same way."

"Quinn, I will always need you." Rachel stated with conviction in her voice, taking a step closer but wrapping her arms around herself instead of the photographer. "I just... It's not that big of a deal."

"But you wont tell me?" Quinn asked before shaking her head, reminding herself not to push. She had always hated it when Adrianne had done it. She was certain that was exactly how Rachel was feeling now.

The diva held herself tighter, needing that physical security but knowing it was too much to ask Quinn for it. She closed her eyes and willed herself to get over it and just tell her but it wasn't that easy for some reason. "I don't want to shut you out." She managed to say, still keeping her eyes shut, fearing she would chicken out if she saw her wife's expression. "I'm just... It's so stupid, Quinn."

Quinn opened her mouth to respond, to tell her that it was okay but said nothing instead. She waited.

Rachel shifted her weight and looked down at the ground. "I'm just nursing a wounded ego and I'm not ready for you to come in and fix it yet."

The other woman's brow dropped in confusion but Rachel carried on to explain further, not wanting any more hurt feelings. Quinn may have been able to control her hurtful defenses from her past but Rachel still struggled with her own selfish ones and it upset her to know that the one person who accepted her for them was the one they were now hurting. "You have always had this ability to walk in and with just a few words make everything fine and no big deal until the problem happens again. But... I don't want this to happen again so I need to deal with it. I need to learn _how_ to deal with it."

Rachel couldn't believe that somehow her explanation of needing to get over herself sounded like this was now all Quinn's fault for being so perfect for her or that she was somehow holding the brunette back from personal growth.

But to only further the point of the blonde's perfection, she silently nodded, feeling like she had just had the doors thrown open for her and was given some sense of what was actually wrong. "Okay. I understand that. And I can let you have some time to work through it."

With that calm statement Rachel finally met her eyes. She hadn't been expecting support after all of that. Not without the support being at an obvious emotional toll on her wife. "I'm sorry. I'm just still trying to figure it all out and the embarrassment and everything that goes with it..."

"You don't need to apologize." The blonde shook her head, taking a few steps closer which Rachel matched, allowing herself to be engulfed in a gentle hug she was needing so badly. It said that things were going to be okay again. "At least now I know that you are alright and in time I'm sure you will tell me."

"I will. As soon as I learn to get over myself." Rachel mumbled as she pushed herself further into the other woman. "Oh, the car..."

"Yes...?" Quinn asked with a smile, knowing her wife was becoming her playful self again.

"It's not too bad. I swear. But we may want to look into upgrading. You know, now that I think about it... it might have been my subconscious winning out." She continued as she pulled away, taking Quinn's hand between hers reassuringly. "It was silently saying 'Be kind to the world. Be more fuel efficient.'"

"Was it now?"

The diva nodded and smiled. "Mhm. I'm pretty sure it was."

Quinn didn't care. She was just happy that she was home, Julian was being taken care of, and Rachel was here with her now. "Right. Okay. Well perhaps shopping for the perfect, new, environmentally friendly car will give you a sense of adventure that you have been longing for. But what about your wrist?"

Rachel smiled widely now, loving how nothing really escaped the photographer. "It's alright. It was just a tiny, tiny fracture. Once the swelling goes down I might have to get a cast for a while but I am firmly against it."

"Are you?"

"Yep."

"And why is that?"

"Because. You have been gone an entire week and I am sure that a cast would only limit the flexibility of my fingers."

Quinn blushed and bowed her head in embarrassment. "There is a flaw in your logic though,My Dear."

"Is there?" The diva asked, resting her temple on the blonde's shoulder as they continued their leisurely stroll.

"Yes. You're right handed. The left is the one injured. Also, you don't need your fingers to make me happy."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Can we say that took me awhile? I'm sorry. But here it is. Feedback is always appreciated and helps with the flow of future chapters so please feel free to let me know what you think and what you would like to see. I know this is a huge story and covers a wide variety of issues, topics, people so if there is one side story you are looking to have wrapped up before this story ends, please let me know and I will do just that. I don't want to leave you hanging any more than I already have and I plan to get into a few more issues in the upcoming chapters as I wind this down a bit.**

**Thank you for your patience and support. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Also, very loose editing.**

~/~/~/~

"Hey Baby?"

"Yeah?" Quinn called back from her on the sofa. In playful harassment of the boys on their first day of all being home, she had taken the coveted spot on the far end of the couch, stretching her legs out in front of her to take up the rest as well. They boys seemed unphased, taking only a second to look at each other before simply crawling on top of her, cuddling as they watched afternoon cartoons while Rachel fixed lunch.

"Do you still have dirty laundry from your trip? I want to finish mine up but I don't have a full load." The actress asked blindly from the kitchen, opening the fridge to gather ingredients.

"Yeah but I'll do it. You're fixing lunch, so I can do the laundry."

"Are you sure? I can grab it as soon as I'm done here."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Rachel had spent her recent time trying to do little favors and tasks, desperately attempting to make up for her stubbornness from the days before. Quinn wasn't giving in though. She didn't want to be left out and definitely didn't want it to become a common occurrence in their marriage. In her eyes, letting Rachel continue to do these extra favors would only allow the actress to lessen her guilt about it all. "I'm sure. In fact I will get it right now so you wont have to worry about it."

There was a pause before Rachel answered and Quinn knew she had won. "Thank you. It's already in the basket by the washer. I think there may be a load in the dryer that can come out as well."

"Alright boys. I've got to go do my chores. Up." Neither twin said anything but moved slightly so the blonde could escape. As soon as her body left the surface, each dove for the end spot. Julian won but Quinn couldn't hide her smile knowing Gabriel had allowed him to, holding back just a bit, not wanting to hurt his still-sore brother. They were good kids and she had missed them desperately.

Once she made her way to the washroom, she pulled a shirt out from the dryer and held it up. It was Beth's. Laughing to herself about how Rachel determined the teenager's comfort level in her new environment by the amount of stuff she left laying around, she figured Beth was starting to feel more and more at home. The blonde added the shirt to the rest of the clean clothes after starting her and Rachel's load, then headed to Beth's room. With the basket in her arms, she fumbled with the doorknob before pushing it open.

Beth really had settled in. Her photo's were all over the walls. Pictures from graduation, from glee club, the plays she had been in, the football games she had gone to. There were pictures of who Quinn assumed was an old boyfriend. He was a tall, strong looking boy holding Beth from behind in one, the sides of their faces pressed close together. It was then that it struck Quinn that she didn't know if Beth was currently dating someone. She assumed not having been told about the guy the teenager brought home while she was gone, almost giving Rachel a heart attack, but he could have just been a friend.

She pushed the thought aside as she continued a slow pace around the room. There was a lot they needed to learn still but they hadn't been given the time yet.

The next photo was Beth with Shelby. The older woman was sitting on a chair with the teenager on her lap, wrapped in a tight hug. The younger blonde was smiling so wide that you couldn't see her eyes and Quinn found herself smiling as well. She had done the right thing for her, given her to the right woman. And that peace of mind allowed her to walk away from the photographs and set the basket of clean clothes on the bed. When she turned to leave, however, she froze and dropped her brow in confusion.

Slowly she walked towards a small desk and squatted down, grabbing the black bag laying on the far side of the desk, almost hidden from view under a few magazines. She knew what it was and knew it was probably hers but she still had to check, unzipping the bag for confirmation. What was Beth doing with it? Being as anal as she was about her cameras, Quinn knew exactly where her daughter had gotten it from and didn't understand why.

"Quinn?"

The blonde heard her wife call from what sounded like the top of the stairs to the basement but didn't respond right away as she decided what to do. After another second of hesitation she answered. "Yeah?"

"Did you get lost? We're suppose to be watching tv together. You promised the boys mom time."

She closed the bag and returned it to where she found it. Staring at it still as she stood up, her thoughts raced. "I'm coming."

~/~/~/~

"Mmm... sexy woman is sexy." Adrianne lovingly teased as she came to stand behind Kim who was shuffling through the dresser draw in search of her sleeping attire. The taller woman leaned down and kissed her exposed shoulder that was still damp from the shower that she had just stepped out of.

Instinctively, Kim clutched the navy blue towel tighter around her chest in a playful resistance to the move she knew would be coming at some point. Adrianne was highly predictable. She planned on giving her what she wanted, but first, Kim wanted to have her own fun with a slow torture of the older woman. "You're really good with kids."

The comment was unexpected and so out of place with the thoughts currently playing in Adrianne's mind that she actually had to stop and replay it once more to make sure she heard correctly. "Okay... that's random." But because it was Kim, who only said something it there was a reason, Adrianne knew there was more to it.

"Not really. I was just thinking of how you were with the boys at the hospital. How you managed to wrangle Gabe into just playing cards instead of running around the room because Julian couldn't."

The taller woman stood up straight and nodded her head, still unsure of where this was heading. "Okay..."

Without missing a beat Kim continued as she pulled the towel from her wet hair. "In fact, you do great with boys in general."

"Kids. Boys. They aren't men. That might have something to do with it. And I can handle men, I would just really prefer not to."

Kim turned sideways slightly to face her wife who was slowly retreating to the side of the bed. "Boys who will become men."

"But those two will be raised to be good men."

"Think you could raise one?"

Adrianne's head pulled back in shock. "I know you aren't pregnant let alone be far enough along in a pregnancy to know the sex of the baby, so where is this coming from? Do you want a boy?"

Kim shrugged her shoulders, gathered her clothes and entered the bathroom to prepare for bed. Adrianne rolled her eyes having been lead to where Kim intended and was now left to proceed blindly, giving her wife an exact understanding of her thoughts on such a broad topic without any guidance. The woman knew how to work people.

"Is that your way of asking if I would have an issue with it?" There was no answer and Adrianne braced herself on her hands behind her that sunk into the mattress slightly. The longer the silence went, the lower Adrianne got until she was resting back on her forearms. "Babe, we discussed this before we found out I was pregnant. It's our child and I will love a boy as much as I would if he was a girl."

"Yet you were beyond ecstatic that Aubrey was a girl. In fact, I do believe your initial reaction was 'oh thank God'. And since you don't believe in God, I figured your praise meant that you really, _really_ wanted a girl."

Adrianne gave up and collapsed backward, sprawling her arms out in surrender and let out a growl of frustration. "It's an expression! And an impulsive reaction as well. And to be honest, yes, I was wanting our first child to be a girl because it would be easier. I don't know much about boys. But now we have Quinn and Rachel to ask advice from. I would be far less concerned if you were to have a boy. That concern, however," She stressed her tone to make sure Kim knew she wasn't finished just yet. "has absolutely nothing to do with how much I would love him."

Even Adrianne had to pause at the oddity of her saying, hypothetically even, that she would love 'him'. She loved the Fabray boys but somehow it was different with this conversation.

"Okay." Kim's tone was less critical and almost accepting as she reappeared in the doorway fully dressed and walked slowly towards the bed. She put a leg on each side of Adrianne's hips. Smiling lightly, she leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her wife's lips. "I too, will be happy regardless of gender, but I would like a boy."

"And so you are bribing me with sex?"

Kim sat straight up. "Who said you were getting any tonight?"

Before the smaller woman could retreat any further, Adrianne grabbed her hips. "I've been reading books and articles and studies. We scheduled you for the next session for when you are most fertile. That is next week. And it is known that women have a much higher sexual desire leading up to that cycle. As to increase their chances of conceiving. So..."

"What about adoption?"

Again Adrianne was thrown by the seemingly random question. "You want to adopt?"

Kim shrugged. "I don't know. I don't see why not."

"So... should we cancel your appointment?"

"No." Kim answered quickly, shaking her head as well for certainty. "I want to try again, but if it doesn't work this time... I would like to look into adoption maybe."

Adrianne knew that the whole process had been tough on Kim, having struggled more than her three friends with the exact same process. So she wouldn't linger on her desire to adopt, moving on to what started the whole conversation. "Of a baby boy?" She nodded. "Who will grow up to be a man?"

Kim nodded again, smiling at the playfulness. "But will be raised well."

Slowly Adrianne nodded her head. She had no doubts about how well they would raise a boy. She was just scared the child would grow up to be distant or feel he couldn't talk to either of them about 'guy' issues. That he wouldn't have that male role model in his life. She couldn't ignore the fact that the only man around was Russel Fabray and while she had grown to tolerate and mildly even respect the man for his transformation over the last few years, she wasn't ready to have him be a last resort role model. Though Rachel's dads would be around now...

"Hey."

Adrianne snapped out of her daze and looked up as Kim looked down on her, smiling sideways as she studied her. "Hmm?"

The younger woman shook her head pensively. "Nothing. You're giving this serious consideration."

Her tone was of disbelief and Adrianne tried not to take offense. She really had no place to feel offended seeing how she constantly tore down men. It really wasn't men themselves that she disliked, but more of what society allowed them to be which they took full advantage of. "I am. I think we could raise a boy well."

Kim smirked as she moved off of her wife, ignoring her groans of protest, and backed up towards the bathroom once more. "Then you might want to practice using the word 'son'. He will _not_ grow up being referred to as 'the boy'."

~/~/~/~

Rachel had been standing in her bedroom doorway. Well, sort of. She had been coming up the stairs to see how Quinn was fairing with getting Maddy to bed and stopped abruptly when she found the blonde sitting in the middle of their bed with their daughter sitting in her lap, propped up against the photographers half-bent knees.

So Rachel stepped back from the door, hiding herself partially with the frame as she watched. Quinn's focus was so acute that the actress could see the slightest change in the other woman's eyes in response to any movement the one year old made. She loved how obvious Quinn's love for each of them was but it only caused her to feel guilty.

She was a good mother. Quinn had told her over and over and she believed it too. She would do anything for her children and only ever wanted them to be safe and happy. But she rarely showed as much depth of attention as Quinn.

The brunette frowned to herself, knowing it was because unless her children needed her for something, her thoughts were normally on herself. Instantly she could hear Quinn's voice internally though, telling her to stop those thoughts and remind her once more that she was an amazing wife and mother. But it wasn't just with the kids that she did that with. It was Quinn, work, even Santana. Having tried over and over and over to set the woman up with people she thought would be good for her without really caring if the Latina wanted it just yet.

"Are you going to join us?"

Quinn's question startled the diva from her thoughts. Rachel had almost wished Quinn hadn't seen her and carried on playing with the child she was turning around in her arms but quickly accepted the opportunity to join the pair.

She placed a knee on the mattress but instead of climbing into bed, she leaned forward and cupped the unsuspecting blonde's face, and kissing her deeply. Quinn returned the affection, causing the next connection between their lips to be firm and definite. But it didn't progress from there. Not just because their daughter was present, but because the kiss was more of a statement for Rachel, one she wasn't sure how to verbalize. Not yet anyway.

Slowly she released her lingering possession of her wife's lips but remained where she was kneeling, still clasping the blonde's face.

Quinn was the first to break the silence. "Firstly, wow." Rachel giggled in embarrassment and released her to find a spot on the bed. "Secondly, I forgot because wow..."

Rachel was blushing now and unable to stop smiling. Quinn always had a way of making her feel like a teenager again. "Shut up. You're acting as if I've never kissed you before."

"No. I'm verbalizing my response to every time you kiss me. Your lips are golden and you know how to use them. There is no denying that."

"Yeah, well..." She drifted off the topic as her attention fell to Maddy. The baby had turned in Quinn's arms to look at Rachel and called for her with outstretched arms. Rachel accepted her and slouched down in the bed so her daughter was no sitting on her stomach. The one year old smiled and held onto her thumbs, one in each hand. Her big brown eyes smiled at her as well. "She really does look like me, doesn't she?"

Quinn brow furrowed. "You are just now seeing this?"

"Well, no." The actress mumbled. "I just... I don't know."

Quinn's brow remained where it was but her eyes moved from Maddy to study Rachel's face. "What's wrong with you lately? I don't think I have ever heard so many 'I don't know' answers out of you before. You of all people have always known exactly how you feel and think and aren't afraid to let others know either."

Rachel subconsciously ignored her wife's comments and continued to play with her daughter. She knew something was on her mind but didn't know how all the pieces fit exactly. After several moments of silence, she opened her moth to respond only to close it again. Her frustration was apparent on her face as well as the harsh breath she released through her nose.

"I've always known I am selfish." She began out of nowhere, deciding just to let her thoughts come through. "And it even occasionally made me stop to think that I should actually do something about it, but never managed to progress to action behind the profound but albeit short thinking process."

"Rachel-" Quinn's low and muffled plea was gently cut off.

"Please don't tell me that I'm not selfish. I know you love me and think the world of me- flaws and all, but please don't try to convince me that I'm not. It's a defining characteristic."

Quinn held her silence out of respect, biting her lips between her teeth to make sure she did.

"I think that is why you and I work so well. I want things and you want to give me things. And you seem content with it so I have never followed through with providing more equal footing in our relationship despite having caused such a ruckus with my insistence that I give something when we first got together. But doesn't that just further prove my point?" Quinn tried to hide her smile as Rachel went off on her tangent and Maddy just stared at her in her own confusion. "Because I was pushing to give you something you didn't want but rather something I wanted you to have. So once again, I am selfish. How are you so giving and love someone who is so... not?"

The blonde waited until Rachel refocused and she knew she was truly listening. "It is human nature to have selfish tendencies." She began calmly as she laid down fully in the bed now. "It's survival. There is no way around it. Everything, in some fashion, is selfish. A lie for example, is selfish survival to get yourself out of what you perceive to be trouble."

"What about a white lie? You tell those so you don't hurt someone's feelings."

Quinn just shrugged. "The want to spare other's emotional pain doesn't really spare them in the long run but it does ease your guilt or fear of having to tell them the truth. And even telling the truth is selfish because it is told to take blame off of yourself either in life or in the afterlife should you believe in it."

"So... damned if you do, damned if you don't?"

"You're lucky she doesn't utilize the swear jar just yet." Quinn teased, pointing her index finger to the rapidly tiring child. "Anyway, that is a question you have already answered when you mentioned our past and wanting to be more giving but feeling selfish about demanding it. So it all boils down to perception. I don't perceive your desire for control to be selfish just like you don't see my lack of encouragement of your wish to provide a more balanced decision making process as my own selfishness. Because it is. I like being the giver in our relationship and have never truly supported your attempts at a 50/50 because it wasn't what I wanted."

Rachel froze and thought about it. She truly didn't see Quinn's insistence that Rachel didn't need to do anything more than what she was as selfish on the blonde's part. "But what about the other day at the hospital?"

Quinn took her time finding the right words. "Like I said before, everyone has their selfish tendencies. And before you interrupt, I'm not trying to down play what you did and are still doing by keeping me in the dark. It is 100% selfish. But everyone has those moments when you know what you are doing is wrong but you feel the desire to do it regardless. I've done it. When I was pregnant with Beth and told Finn he was the father. When I was holding on to my relationship with Adrianne because I was terrified to be alone again. But what matters is if you are able to see the action, stop it, and learn from it."

Rachel slowly nodded her head. "So the fact that I still haven't informed you is..."

"Frustrating." She answered honestly. "And is therefore perceived as selfish."

"And me not learning from this all..."

"I think you are learning. Right now. Right this very minute. But now it is your choice as to whether or not you will correct it, or hold off still."

Rachel stayed quiet for a moment before she pulled her drowsy daughter to her chest and say up., getting out of bed. Quinn watched patiently as the actress exited the room. The one thing she hadn't said to Rachel yet was that she had full confidence in her. Quinn knew that Rachel's heart was too big to continuously push forward with shutting her out. Especially now. Not like she had with Finn and Adrianne.

Quinn had always seen where she was hurting someone and just swallowed it down. It had always been the moments of clarity she witnessed Rachel having in high school after seeing how much damage she was causing that inspired Quinn to be a better person.

"I was turned down for a job."

Quinn left her thoughts and looked up to her wife who slowly entered their room with her gaze pinned to the ground, wringing her hands. "Hmm?"

"I auditioned for a job just after you left and hoped to surprise you with the part and the financial support as well, but... They turned me down."

Quinn bit back her initial wave of comments geared towards their stupidity for passing over the actress, remembering how Rachel had said she always swooped in with her comments, not allowing the diva her emotional time. So she laid there silently as Rachel sat sideways on the side of the bed facing her.

"Part of their reasoning was my inability to commit to a long term contract, which I understand and accept. I guess I was just embarrassed to have been turned down for the first time since I made it to Broadway." She shrugged, keeping her eyes down. It all seemed so silly now. Why couldn't she have told Quinn all of this days ago? "It didn't really help that they also said I was too old for the part."

The natural response was for Quinn to laugh. She finally understood Rachel's sensitivity to the topic days before. "This part, how old is the character?"

She could see Rachel shy away from the question, shrugging her shoulders.

"Rachel?"

"On the cusp of maturity...?"

The infamous eyebrow raised and a smirk replaced the laughing smile. "You kind of set yourself up for that one then. You are Rachel Berry aka Rachel Fabray so there is never any doubt of your ability, Baby. But you have to try for appropriate roles. I mean, you wouldn't have tried out for the role of an old spinster when you were 21 would you?  
>"Actually that depends on the part because costume design and the progression of stage makeup over the last few years..." She trailed off, knowing she was avoiding the point. "Are you saying I could play the role of the old spinster now?"<p>

Quinn rolled her eyes and slapped her palm to her empty bed next to her. "No, I am not and you know it. Come here. Cuddle with me? I've missed your cuddles."

"You didn't get enough those nights we were in the hospital?" Rachel teased as she claimed her spot at Quinn's side, resting her head on the blonde's shoulder and draping her arm and leg over her as well. Quinn had held her all night at the hospital despite the lingering tension. So much so that Rachel told her if she held any tighter they could add a broken rib to her list of injuries.

"I could never get enough of you. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

"Maybe I have. Maybe I haven't. Maybe I just like hearing you say how utterly addicted you are to me."

"As long as you already know I am, I'm okay with that. But seriously," The blonde continued, gently running her fingers through the brown tresses. "I know you are putting yourself out there every time you audition for a role or propose something you want to do, but if that road has a few bumps in it... that's fine. I don't want you to shut me out. And I'll work on letting you tell me all the details and your feelings before I start telling you how stupid they are for turning you down. As if you didn't already know." She added that last part with a bit of a chuckle.

Rachel laid there silently, her head rising and falling slightly with Quinn's chest. The blonde's heart beat echoing in her ear. "So you're giving more and I'm not changing at all."

"If you tell me what is going on instead of shutting me out, that makes it the 50/50 you've always wanted."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Alright, where to start... I guess I should just start from the top. I posted it on my blog but don't think I have here so I want to thank you all for your kind thoughts, wishes, and PATIENCE over the last... almost year... and to tell you that I am officially in remission. I will have another test in October to make sure the cancer is really gone but yeah. No more chemo, no more cancer. Just writing and work.**

**The blog and this story will hopefully be updated much more frequently now that I'm not MIA for a week at a time and the medications aren't messing with my focus. The next chapter is already underway and I have a few poems and more pictures to post on my blog in the following days.**

**I have also updated my profile so if you feel like checking that out, please do. Oh... one more thing... with BWYDT... insanity. It has reached over 2 million hits. My mind is blown.**

**So thank you all again and here is to hoping this story gets back on track. Hope you enjoy. (Little to no editing)**

**~/~/~/~**

It was moments like this where Quinn figured she was luckier than she even admitted to herself. Moments when she felt like what was unfolding around her was just a dream that she was drifting through, not putting any effort into its events yet watched as they played out perfectly. She was laying in bed on her back, her eyes still closed as she slowly breathed in deeply. The sheets were cool on her skin despite the rising heat of the summer morning outside. There was even a chill to the air that sent goosebumps down her arms but relaxed her even further into this living dream.

She wiggled slightly to sink into the covers a little more but was met with a soft, questioning moan. As soon as she stopped moving Rachel took her turn to adjust, nudging herself closer, one arm and leg resting over Quinn while her lips lightly brushed against the blonde's neck. The slow release of the actress's breath began to tickle.

"Why haven't we done this before?"

Rachel didn't answer until Quinn turned her head slightly, indicating she was waiting for an actual answer. "Done what?"

"Sleep in and do this."

"Well, we used to do it frequently actually. Before we had kids that is."

Quinn nodded slightly before her eyes flew open. "Speaking of..."

"Beth took them already."

Instantly the building tension fled from the photographer and they both embraced the silence again. The boys had really taken to Beth. She had an easier time getting them to do anything. Not to say they gave Quinn and Rachel a hard time, but it seemed like they constantly had to use the parent tone while Beth could just be herself. But it was still peace of mind to know that there was another person in this world to help protect the ones she cared for. "So what was the deciding factor?"

In a sign of rebellion to their conversation and abandonment of their peaceful sleep Rachel wiggled closer before slipping her exposed arm under the sheet that covered their bare bodies, hoping to feed off her wife's body heat. She smiled as she felt Quinn's stomach muscles jump at the cold contact. "Deciding factor for what?"

"For you to decide that our family time was allowed to be interrupted with sleeping in and the boys going to the studio. I promised to take them to the theater today."

"And you still can." The actress argued tiredly, knowing how the day was going to play out even if Quinn didn't. That was her role in the marriage. "You're taking Beth out to lunch so you can then just pick up the boys when you take her back to the studio. Then you can pick me up here or I can meet you there since I might already be out informing Scott of my decision to begin develop on new dreams and goals. But all of that comes after you take me out to breakfast."

Quinn was already smiling as she absently played with Rachel's hair. The actress played her role well, just like the natural she was. "I had no idea I had so much on my plate today."

"Mhm." Was the only response she received at first. "Breakfast first. Full plate of breakfast."

Unable to keep herself from smiling at the fact their passion filled night had worn her wife out so much, the photographer tilted her head and kissed her forehead, soaking in the feel and smell of her lover. "So where are we going?"

"Bagels. I want giant, massive bagels."

"With vegan cream cheese?"

"Mhm." Rachel lifted her hand and motioned it in a circle. "All over the place. All up in there."

Furrowing her brow Quinn began to vibrate from her laughter. "You haven't by chance been spending extra time with Santana at the restaurant have you? You know, all up in there?"

With one last deep breath Rachel surrendered to the morning at sat up, holding the cover to her chest tightly as she stretched. Quinn couldn't help but gently guide her hand over the exposed skin of her back. Just that soft connection made her want to forget their plans for the day and spend it in bed like they used to, putting each inch of the other to memory once more. She was even struggling from sitting up and peppering the skin with lingering kisses now.

"I've actually been banned from the restaurant until the opening tomorrow just so you know. I haven't bothered her at all."

"But you've tried, haven't you?"

Rachel gave a quick shift of her head and her posture straightened slightly. Quinn was right but Rachel didn't like her knowing it. "I wasn't intending on bugging her..."

"But you went and she threw you out?"

"No." The answer was too short. Quinn waited. After a few seconds Rachel began to shift uncomfortably before she finally relented. "She never actually let me in. The doors were locked." Quinn burst into laughter and Rachel threw her hands in the air, letting them fall roughly to her lap. "So glad you are amused by this. One of the managers was standing at the bar just to the left. I tapped on the glass for his attention to let me in. All he did was hold up an owner-issued memo to the glass that said I was not allowed within the facility until the opening and that any staff member caught letting me in would be fired."

After a few sighs and gasps for air from the ache of her sides Quinn wiped away the stray tear from her eye. She could picture Rachel reading the memo and standing there on the busy street as it sank in, only to start lecturing the man who had probably walked away. "You did this to yourself you know."

Rachel gave a quick sigh and glance back to her wife laying next to her, her hand still brushing over her back. "I know. But she's so unhappy. Well, not unhappy. I actually think she is the happiest she's been since high school." Quinn nodded in agreement. "She's just..."

"Lonely in a way that not even a family as big as ours can help with."

"Exactly." The actress exclaimed because once again Quinn was able to put her thoughts to words for her. The juices were pumping now and she threw the covers away from her body as she exited the bed to get dressed. "And she knows it too. So I don't understand why she is being so resistant to any potential partners I might think are highly attractive and a perfect match for her."

Quinn sat up, dangling her feet off the edge of the bed as she watched Rachel disappear into the closet and back out again to continue her rant, trying to ignore the fact that Rachel mentioned all these potential partners for Santana she, herself, found to be _highly_ attractive herself. She knew she wasn't immune to feeling jealous but she tried not to let Rachel know it.

"I mean, I have good taste in women. Men, not so much, but that doesn't matter with her. I got you. Shouldn't that earn me some confidence with her?"

"I seduced you actually." The blonde corrected her teasingly.

Rachel huffed a laugh that caught Quinn off guard, even slightly offending her. "Your romantic lines and lingering eye contact were indeed intoxicating, however, our night and, therefore, our future would not have turned out as such if I had not taken the lead and seduced _you_." Quinn arched an eyebrow as a now half-dressed Rachel slowly walked towards her as she spoke, pointing her index finger firmly in her beliefs. "While your class and observant nature with matters of the heart are endearing, they are also too slow for some more pressing needs and desires."

"Did you just say you are sexually needy?"

Rachel froze instantly and glanced to the side as she replayed her words in her head but then quickly shook the thought from her head. "That's not the point." They both knew she was.

"Oh? Well what is the point then?"

"The point is... the point... I don't know. I don't think I actually had one. Or if I did the ravenous gnawing at my stomach has drawn out all memory of it and cast it aside as an afterthought."

Slowly, and more importantly trying to hide her smile, Quinn nodded her head before scrunching her face. "You are most definitely due to be back on stage."

This time Rachel scoffed and braced her hands on her hips in a defiant stance. "Did you just call me dramatic?"

The only response she got was a gentle laugh and a smile of adoration. "Didn't you say you were hungry?"

"Oh I am. Hungry enough to risk forgetting your implications for the moment."

"Great. One thing first though." Rachel stood and waited for direction. Quinn lifted her index finger and curled it, calling for her with a soft smile with a hint of a smirk. The closer the two became the more sheepish their smiles grew until Rachel stood between Quinn's knees and leaned down so their foreheads brushed.

The blonde placed her hands on the actress's still-bare hips and lightly squeezed, almost reminding herself that this was all real once more.

"I'm here." The whisper caught her off guard and she pulled her head back slightly, looking up to meet Rachel's warm chocolate eyes. Her voice matched the gentleness of her smile. "Do you really think we've known each other this long without me figuring out a few of your unspoken secrets?" Quinn blushed and dropped her eye but Rachel caught her chin with a light index finger, lifting her face towards her again. Once Quinn met her eyes so hooked her arms behind the blonde's neck. "I like that you have to check. It makes me feel special. When you look at me a certain way or do that... I feel valued."

"You are-" Any reply was cut off by a firm but tender kiss that caused Quinn to strain her muscles as she stretched upward for more. When they broke apart she blushed again at the audible, shaky breath that left her. She studied Rachel's eyes and how they smiled back at her with a peace and comfort and she felt the same way. Appreciated, loved, valued. Maybe her time away and their arguments earlier really did re-spark their marriage. "So... giant bagels?"

"Massively huge."

~/~/~/~

Quinn hadn't realized how serious Beth had become about her job at the studio until she walked in to surprise her with the suggestion of lunch together. Beth had been scurrying about helping Adrianne then running at full speed back to the office to grab the ringing phone before the third ring- a policy that Kim put in place and had been failing miserably at trying to get whichever photographer was available to follow. At least Beth had taken to it. Though it would only spur Kim on more to get Adrianne and Quinn to adhere to it as well. But for every fast-paced, stressful second, the smile never came off the teenager's face. Quinn even had to pull the 'boss' card, making their lunch together business, in order to get her to leave for an hour or so.

It was either that or Rachel was going to get involved. She had changed her plans for the day, scrapping her meeting with Scott until tomorrow. There was something about the adorableness of witnessing an elegant and proper Quinn Fabray try to eat a bagel the size of her head and only managing to get cream cheese all over her face instead of in her mouth that sort of stole her heart and her day. The actress wasn't leaving her side now.

"How do you find all these cute little places?" Beth asked as she sat down at the cafe's corner table.

Quinn sat down as well and smiled before answering. "I'm sure you are still a little shell shocked but Manhattan really isn't that big. There my be a lot of people," She added quickly as Beth's eyes widened in opposition. "But the place itself is only a few miles wide. You'll learn your way around soon enough. What helped me was my inability to cook for myself and then Rachel's diet restrictions later."

"Ah, so you know where every Whole Foods and soy milk serving coffee shop is within a five mile radius don't you?"

Quinn raised her right had in the air. "I could walk to them blindfolded. No lie."

The two shared a quick laugh then fell into an awkward silence as they both took a sip of their drinks, waiting for Rachel to join them. Beth was examining her meal while Quinn discreetly watched. This slight uneasiness between them was what she was hoping to understand and work through. It was _her_ new goal. Beth had always been an open ball of energy when she was with them. She still had those moments that escaped every now and then but there was still some hesitation the rest of the time.

"Sorry I had to leave so soon after you got here. That trip really had poor timing." The photographer apologized, looking down to tend to her first bite.

Beth popped her head up and scrunched her brow. "You don't need to apologize. It worked out fine. And now I can even help you find things in your own home." She smiled and Quinn smiled in response. Not really in response to the joke or tease but more in response to her daughter's smiling. It was at moments like this that she was left with an internal battle of emotions. Pride that she created this beautiful person in front of her. Regret that she wasn't able to fulfill her role as a mother beyond that. Happiness that she was allowed this opportunity at all. And even guilt for wanting even more. It was a strange sort of whirlwind she could feel fluttering in her chest. One she wasn't sure would ever go away.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she saw Rachel approach. Reaching over slightly she pulled the chair out so the brunette could sit but only after a quick kiss and smile of adoration.

"You know..." Beth continued with a hint of playfulness in her tone. "For two people in such a deep love, you're relatively quiet at night." Quinn's eyes widened and she could feel the heat from her blush wash over her while Rachel just burst into laughter, quickly covering her mouth to muffle the sound and not draw any attention to them. "Oh come on. When Rachel walks down the stairs wrapped in nothing but a blanked and asks if I can take the kids to the studio, it is pretty clear as to what's been happening."

Quinn's shocked expression moved from Beth to Rachel who only shrugged. "I'm not having this conversation." The older blonde stated, absolutely mortified but Beth was enjoying it too much to let go and Rachel seemed to not care.

"Why not? Clearly you don't know the types of conversation that happen in the studio then."

The photographer had stuffed her mouth with food to avoid talking but now found herself desperately chewing so she could respond, giving up and just covering her mouth. "I am well aware- and you don't need..." She stumbled as she tried to busy herself with her meal again, suddenly changing her mind on wanting to perpetuate the topic. "You're too young for this conversation."

Beth snorted a laugh. "So says the woman who was pregnant with me at 16. Come on, do you really believe that I, an almost 18 year old teenager, doesn't think or talk about sex on a regular basis? That would be ridiculous."

Rachel didn't respond and only watched, wondering if she was getting a preview of how Quinn was going to handle the sex talk with the boys or even Maddy. All awkward and flustered. She might just have to record it for the memories.

Quinn closed her eyes and steadied her nerves and embarrassment as she finally cleared her mouth of food. "It's not that really. It's more of the fact that I am your mother." There was a pause and Quinn opened her eyes. "Birth mother."

Beth seemed to have felt some awkwardness with the word choice as well as she took her time to drink. "We can't just have this conversation as two adults or almost adult?"

_No! No we can't!_ But Quinn stopped herself from impulsively blurting her response out, suddenly hit with the thought that she wanted Beth to have someone to go to with questions, especially about sex. She was fairly certain the teenager had learned from her mistake and would use protection but there were so many other things she might want to know about. "I want you to be able to talk with me about anything. The specifics of my love life just may not be one of them. And that's not just a rule for you. I don't normally talk about my personal life with anyone."

Beth hesitated for a moment, pensively studying the woman across from her before looking over to Rachel who sat back and remained silent for once. She knew where this was going and also knew the less eyes Quinn felt on her the better at the moment. Clearing her throat as she gained the confidence, Beth pushed on. "Your personal life as a whole or just the sex aspect?"

Quinn's chewing slowed as she thought about it. "Both, but for differing reasons."

"Which are?" Again Quinn slowed her process as her mind raced, struggling to swallow around the growing knot in her throat that always appeared when discussion of the past arose. "I don't mean to push but you said we could talk about-"

"I did." Quinn assured her in a lighter tone. "And we can. It's just not always easy for me." She tried to explain as she wiped her moth and hands with a napkin. "I don't talk about my sex life because it's no ones business. If others want to discuss theirs or even if Rachel wants to, that's up to them. I don't mind. I even have my moments but they are few and far between. As for my personal life... it's painful." Beth's brow instantly dropped and her eyes shifted continuously between the women in front of her, begging for someone to explain. "My _past_ personal life is painful. My current life is a dream compared to the nightmare it used to be."

"What could have been that bad? I mean, Russel isn't exactly the most... affectionate or hospitable man I have ever encountered, no matter how briefly that meeting might have been, but he doesn't seem that bad. You two seem to get along fairly well. And Judy is just a whole bunch of awesome. She's, like, perpetually high on rainbows and cotton candy."

Quinn ran her hand over her face as she smiled at the creative yet accurate description while Rachel giggled into her next bite of food. "Yeah, she has always had that personality. But it wasn't always rainbows and cotton candy. It used to be a bottomless glass of scotch."

The teenager's smile faded slowly as the seriousness of the situation set in. "She was an alcoholic?"

"No. Yes. Not really." Quinn argued with herself. "It was more of a coping device." That statement alone informed Beth of how accurate Quinn's 'nightmare' description must be. If Judy struggled as well then it clearly wasn't the typical teenager troubles with authority that she and Shelby battled with. And Quinn could see the concern and confusion on her face. "We can save this conversation for another time though."

"No! No. I mean... I want to know more about you. I don't know much."

The photographer knew she gave away her shock as she jerked her head back. "I figured you have gotten the run down from all the articles that came out when Rachel and I first got together. They outlined pretty much everything."

"I never got to read them." Beth confessed before taking a sip of her soda. "Mom would read them first and then decide if it was appropriate for me to see. I think she cut out anything that involved you being pregnant with me." It had always frustrated her when Shelby did that but at the same time the woman allowed her to meet Quinn and Rachel at a young age. And as Beth grew older she started to understand that maybe Shelby was leaving that information for Quinn to share with her when she felt the time was right.

"You do realize that those articles are on the internet as well, right?" Rachel teased and Beth smiled, nodding her head as she looked back to Quinn. She had wanted to take the path she believed her mom had planned out for her. "I decided I would rather know your version. No one knows it better than you, right?"

Quinn didn't know what to do. Her emotions were playing with her now. All this time she had thought Beth already knew everything. Clearly she knew that Quinn had her at a young age, that was always shared. But she thought she had read the article her father had given to the papers with all the details written in the most unflattering ways. Rachel lightly touched her hand to the blonde's thigh and met her with a smile, breaking her from her thoughts. The photographer faced her daughter again. "What all do you know, exactly?"

The younger blonde shrugged. "Just what you two have told me or what I have gathered from bits and pieces of conversations I might or might not have been eavesdropping on." Both older women shared a quick smile. "I have always wanted to ask but that memory book you gave me for Christmas temporarily sated my appetite. It wasn't until last year that I realized I didn't know anything about you."

Rachel couldn't hold her curiosity in any longer. "What happened last year?"

Beth waved her hand quickly in front of her face. "Nothing serious. I was taking a psychology class and we had to do a project about our parents and what they were like at our age as well as their childhood. I loved hearing about Mom's life. All the stories she told," She shrugged. "But some of the questions we had to answer within our presentation though directed me more towards you. That's when I realized I only knew you were 16. I knew you were in the glee club at some point. And I know what you life has ended up being. You know, famous photographer living in New York City turned world traveler." Quinn snorted but quickly covered her face as if it didn't happen. "But I don't know about who you were when you were my age and younger."

The actress waited patiently as Quinn took her time thinking. She knew she would tell Beth whatever she wanted to know, feeling as if she deserved to know. And she did. But she also knew this was the same Quinn who she laid with her on the apartment floor when they first reunited. That night allowed Rachel to see that even through all of the changes the blonde had made in her life, she was still Quinn Fabray, queen of repressed memories because they were easier to deal with that way.

Clearing her throat, Quinn leaned forward, placing her forearms on the table between her and her daughter. She opened her mouth, paused, and then closed it again before sitting back and shifting uncomfortably in her chair again. "Can we go to the park?"

Beth's eyes shot to Rachel who looked equally lost in the sudden change of direction. "Uh... sure..."

"Okay." Quinn nodded her head and stood, leaving the other two women to glance down at their partially eaten meals.

"So, I guess lunch will be rescheduled." Rachel stated with a reassuring smile. She could see the uncertainty on Beth's face already. "And don't worry."

The teenager met her eyes curiously. "What do you mean?"

"She isn't upset or uncomfortable. Well, she is uncomfortable but not because of you. It is a Fabray trait to not speak of things, especially if they are things that would lower the appearance of the family or are in the form of complaints or criticism of how the family works."

The two stood up and discarded the garbage. "But she seems to be a very open person most of the time."

"Oh, she is." Rachel reassured her. "There is one thing you need to know about Quinn that will solve most of the conflicting perceptions." Beth waited eagerly to hear, unintentionally blocking the doorway so they couldn't leave until she got the answer. "At one point in her life Quinn decided that this was it. There was how her life was, and how she wanted it to be. So she drew a line, stepped over it, and never looked back. She left the past in the past and has never fully dealt with it. On some levels she has, or it has been forced on her to deal with because of other people's decisions. But she would have gone through the rest of her life ignoring it if she could."

"Well that's not healthy."

Rachel smiled genuinely at the care the teenager had. "No, it's not. But Quinn is also a believer that everything happens for a reason. You being here and wanting to know about her past may simply be that push she needs in order to get it out and let it go."

Beth slowly nodded and pushed the door to leave. "I guess I might prove to have some positive influence in her life after all."

Suddenly she came to an abrupt halt. Her head lightly smacked the glass when it refused to open. The teenager looked down and saw Rachel's hand pulling firmly back on the door and slowly turned to meet a very serious gaze. "Don't you ever think that you have been a negative influence on any one of our lives. I wont go into detail because that is for Quinn to do, but if it wasn't for you, she wouldn't be here. She would be in Lima still, miserably. She and I would never have been friends let alone anything more. Julian, Gabriel, and Maddy wouldn't exist. And Shelby and I would have never come to what bit of an understanding we have with each other. So don't ever, _ever_ imply that you have been anything less than positive for us. Do you hear me?"

Beth nodded her head. "Yes, Ma'am."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Can this really be another chapter? Two chapters in two weeks? It's almost like life is back to normal! **

**Things from this point on should be a bit different. It is hopefully going to get some of that old playful vibe back where Quinn and Rachel find themselves back in similar situations. Santana will be making an appearance again in the next chapter. So will a few other characters we haven't gotten much from lately. All will be chaos and fun.**

**This is loosely edited (as it always is). But thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"She's pacing." Beth mumbled as she sat on a bench, her eyes following the slowly pacing blonde in front of her and Rachel. "She's pacing... still." Rachel on the other hand was not at all confused or unsettled by the seemingly out of character behavior. Instead, she sat with her arm braced on the back of the bench, running her fingers through her own hair and lightly bouncing her leg which was crossed over the other. She waited patiently as Quinn ran over every detail, trying to determine where to start.

When the photographer would finally choose, she would let out a long breath, turn to face them, and upon seeing both women sitting there, would second guess herself and resume her pacing.

"Quinn?"

Quinn stopped where she stood, eyes wide in question, hands held together at waist level from her nervous rubbing of them. "Hmm?" The brunette tilted her head towards Beth. Quinn moved her eyes to her daughter then back to Rachel, nodding her head. "I know." She began walking again. "I know. I just... don't know how to do this. And it's not that I don't want to." She assured Beth directly.

Stopping her wife from going into another ramble, Rachel raised the index finger on her free hand. "Can I make a suggestion?" Quinn nodded frantically while Beth just waited, slightly frustrated with how difficult it was proving to get an answer to a simple question. Shelby didn't have this much trouble telling her about Rachel and all the emotions she went through. "I suggest we take Beth back to the studio so she can finish up her day helping Kim and Adrianne. We can keep our promise to the boys and _you_," She pointed to Quinn, "can actually have this discussion with Beth tonight once you have gotten your thoughts in order. Because she deserves to know and you need to be the one to tell her. And this conversation isn't going anywhere at the moment."

"It hasn't even started." Beth retorted in disbelief.

"It has in her head though." Rachel explained, patting the teenager's leg. "She's trying to plan the whole thing out. So, stop," She added, turning her attention to her wife again, standing up to indicate they were all leaving now, "hold my hand, and let's try this again later. Shall we?"

~/~/~/~

Kim was sitting at her desk looking over the latest version of Adrianne's order for the month. The photographer had already changed it twice and before Kim made the effort to actually look up the product codes, she figured she might as well ask one more time if there was anything else. Beth had done the exact opposite of Rachel's suggestion and put herself right between the couple, acting as a go between. It was stressful going back and forth so many times but she found it much, much, much less stressful than standing there as they bickered. It was less awkward as well.

Kim looked up at the clock on the wall and shifted her glasses before getting up, paper in hand.  
>"Adrianne, do you know why Beth is late getting back from...?" The need for an answer left her.<p>

Adrianne was glancing over her shoulder to her wife, camera at the ready, mid-picture, with all of the kids posed and smiling in front of a marbled blue background. Gabriel was sitting on a short stool so his feet touched the ground with Maddy on his lap. Julian was next to him, standing with one hand on his brother's shoulder and the other on Aubrey's who was slightly in front of him.

"What?" Adrianne asked, not having heard Kim the first time.

The assistant shook her head. "Nothing. Go ahead."

Adrianne held her eyes for a second longer before turning back around and lifting the camera to her face again. "Julian, can you smile bigger for me. Gabe, not so much, Buddy. Save that smile for the stage when you get there."

Kim laughed lightly as she moved over to the work station, closer to the kids. Aubrey watched her as she did, smiling even wider than before. "Look at Mommy." She pointed to Adrianne. "Smile for the camera." Aubrey nodded her head and looked forward again as Kim too a set, setting the paperwork on the table behind her. If didn't matter anymore. Priorities had changed.

The realization even got her thinking about how focused she was into work and how she should be able to enjoy these little moments more. Before they knew it, the boys would be starting school and there was already talk of them starting dance classes though Kim wasn't so sure Quinn had given up the fight on that one just yet. Rachel had relented but only slightly. The discussion always popped back up whenever Gabriel would force his brother and Aubrey to put on a little show, constantly reminding them what to say and where to move and where they needed to stand. He was a natural and his potential didn't need to be wasted. Or so Rachel argued.

Like clockwork, though, the phone rang in the distance and Kim stood.

"Leave it." The assistant froze, looking to Adrianne who still had the camera to her face. "Let it go to voice mail. That's why we have it." Kim looked back towards her office as the phone rang again and again as she wrung her hands in debate. "Alright, last one. Be goofy!" The photographer ordered and all the kids pulled a funny face, stretching their mouths in funny shapes or crossing their eyes while Maddy sat on Gabriel's lap laughing. "And we got it. Alright. Good job. You know we got some new props in yesterday for a beach shoot coming up, Julian. How about you go find those beach balls and I'll blow them up for you guys to play with."

Kim abandoned the ringing phone and collected Maddy from Gabriel, letting him run to join the other two older kids who were already half way across the studio.

"Hey." Adrianne greeted as she approached her wife who had Maddy on her hip. She kissed the shorter woman's shoulder and then her cheek. Over the years of their relationship and then marriage, Adrianne's dedication and natural protectiveness had allowed Kim to begin moving on from the scare of her past and those still remaining on her body. Every time Kim was brave enough to bare them with her wardrobe choice, Adrianne would make a point to kiss them away further. "I'm proud of you, you know."

Kim rolled her eyes and blushed at the same time. "Proud of me for ignoring a phone call of a potential or paying client?"

"Yes. I am. It's a big step for you."

"You make it sound lime I'm such a workaholic." Kim's tone had changed as she pulled away, carrying Maddy with her as she retrieved the forgotten paperwork.

Adrianne just shook her head and raised her hands in defeat. Kim's emotions weren't the only ones proving sensitive lately. Adrianne had been trying to find her flow with everything. She wasn't used to running the studio without Quinn around. Even if it was just a quick question to verify something, the blonde had always been that back up for her. But having to be the sole decision maker responsible for thousands of dollars made or lost for not only her and her family, but Quinn's as well. It had put her on edge. Add to that having to try and teach Beth things she needed to know while having her typical bickering moments with her wife. She was lacking all forms of support and was tired of feeling as if she could do nothing right. "I can never win with you. I know you aren't a workaholic. You don't take any of it home with us. So please, don't put words in my mouth."

The aggravation in Adrianne's voice was apparent and unusual and caused Kim to turn around to look at her. Just seeing the fierceness in her green eyes was enough verification. Kim knew there wasn't the slightest bit of playfulness in her wife and it startled her a bit. Ever since they had met, there had always been a bit of push and pull between them. Quinn had said at one point if they weren't arguing, they were doing something the didn't want to know about. It was one of the other. Still that push and pull had always been light real emotions. They both knew that once the topic had been thoroughly discussed, that was it and on to the next with no feelings hurt. But now, looking at Adrianne, something was different and it scared her.

She was unsure, uneasy now and her eyes darted to and from various spots on the floor as she stuttered her way to a response. What had she said? Was there something wrong with her tone of voice? Clearly she had struck a nerve. Did she really come off as that much of a hard ass? Was she pushing Adrianne away? Was she losing her?

Adrianne's brow dropped in confusion but it only made her appear angrier to Kim. The photographer hadn't seen her wife act like this since they had first started dating. That visible fear and uncertainty. And that caused her frustration to vanish. "What's wrong?"

Kim gave a quick shake of her head to deny anything was wrong.

"Kim?" Adrianne stepped closer and took the paper from her wife's hand, tossing it back on the table blindly. "Look at me for a second. Come on." Her voice was soft as she pleaded before bending down so she could catch the shorter woman's dropped gaze.

Kim read her eyes briefly. Adrianne wasn't mad anymore. She was concerned. It must have been a fleeting moment, she thought. When the assistant held her eyes for more than that split second, Adrianne smiled and Kim swallowed down most of her sudden anxiety. This is Adrianne, not a threat. This was the woman who had physically put herself between her and harms way without hesitation countless times. This woman loved her. Why was there even doubt?

"I'm sorry."

Kim's voice was a whisper and Adrianne shook her head. "Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything. Just..." She struggled to find her words, afraid of saying something that would upset her wife again. She would wait to discuss her issues later. Quinn was technically back so that would lighten her load and Santana would be much less of a nervous wreck after the opening tomorrow so that was taken care of as well. No more late night techs when the Latina forgot to look at the time or repetitive phone calls. For as much as Santana was trying not to burden the couple, she was failing slightly. But that could wait. Something clearly wasn't right Kim if her frustration crumbled to nearly cowering behavior in a split second. "Just tell me what's going on. I didn't say anything that should have caused you to get so defensive."

Shifting Maddy on her hip, Kim took some time to let go of the rest of her anxiety and think. She knew it was all loosely tied her trying to get pregnant and failing in one way or another, but she didn't want to discuss it. There was nothing else to say. Adrianne had been incredibly supportive through all of the failed attempts and even the miscarriage. "Maybe it's just hormones or everything coming up, but it's alright. I'm alright. And now that I'm aware," She added softly so Adrianne didn't sense any resentment, "I'll work on not being so defensive."

Adrianne was standing now, studying her wife for any avoidance.

"Honestly." Kim added genuinely. "And I'm sorry. You haven't deserved any of it." The photographer pulled her head back in shock and Kim rolled her eyes. "Any work related snapping you have fully deserved though." She amended her statement with a smile. "But the rest... probably not. Thank you for putting up with it for as long as you have. I am assuming it has been ongoing since you actually said something. I know you try to be patient which is a stretch for you to begin with."

Adrianne shrugged. "You really haven't been that bad but you can keep apologizing if you'd like. It's a new experience for me to be on this end of it. It's kind of fun actually. Should I mark this on the calendar and celebrate it as a rare event?" By now Kim had already began walking away, leaving Adrianne with her arms stretched out. "Does this mean I wont have to sleep on the couch ever again? Because it's really not as comfortable as I've tried to make it sound. That was simply just to annoy you."

~/~/~/~

"She's home." Rachel said as she walked outside of the house and into their small back yard. The only thing they had time to do with it since moving in was set up the lounge chairs that were on the roof of the old apartment. Rachel had spent less than a minute debating whether or not to just get a new set, deciding that the emotional attachment to these was far too high. She still remembered every detail of when Quinn had proposed to her on them.

Quinn had been sitting there, almost in the exact spot, since they returned home from the theater, chewing on her bottom lip until it was bruised. "Okay."

Nodding her head, Rachel stood there. She knew this was an internal battle she couldn't and, in all honesty, wouldn't help fight with her. "Do you need anything?"

"Another beer might help." Quinn confessed swirling the mostly empty bottle in her hand. She didn't even like beer but there was some in the fridge for some reason. Only horrible thoughts of Beth's new 'friends' supplying it ran through her mind so she figured you might as well drink them gone.

"How many have you had?"

The blonde laughed and flopped back in one of the chairs ungracefully and began picking at the bottle's label. "Only this one. And I spilled most of it when I tripped over one of the kids' toys."

Rachel nodded her head one more time and vanished into the house only briefly before reappearing with another beer. "Since you were robbed of the full experience of cheap beer earlier." She teased as she handed it over. Quinn smiled devilishly as soon as her hand was on the bottle. The other flew up to Rachel's wrist and pulled her forward abruptly until she fell on top of the blonde in a fit of giggles. "Quinn! I didn't hurt you, did I?" She asked between laughs as she placed her hand on a spot of cushion and lifted herself off the blonde. She hadn't braced at all in fear of injuring her bad wrist even further. "Though I doubt you'd tell me even if I did."

Quinn didn't answer and only watched as Rachel moved to sit next to her. She wasn't sure if it was the pensive mood she was in or just a natural occurrence, but she couldn't help but think Rachel looked especially beautiful tonight. The sun was half-faded and played on her features, making her skin glow with warmth. And Quinn swore there was nothing sexier a woman could dress in than a pair of sweat pants, a tank top, and a messy hair do. "Will you stay? I don't want you to be so far away."

"Someone has to watch the kids, Quinn." She reminded her softly, hating to deny her anything since she rarely even asked for something. But this wasn't her place tonight.

"You can call Santana." She argued playfully, locking her fingers with Rachel's as another plea to stay. "She might need a break from planning the opening. You know, an excuse to shut off her phone. And! And," She chanted excitedly as she turned to fully face her beaming wife. "She could totally pay for the boys' college education if we left her with them long enough. Just mention setting her up on another date and tell Gabe to keep tally."

The actress gave an expression of amused disgust. "Oh, you are just sad now." The blonde faked being offended so Rachel leaned over and pecked her on the lips. "But you're still adorable and I love you. And to finish up this pep talk, I will add that I know about your past because you've told me. All you have to do is say it again."

Quinn gave a half-hearted smile but didn't even try to maintain it that long. It wasn't that simple and Rachel knew it. "With you, it was different. You pushed me for it. You pulled it out of me. I fear Beth will just get aggravated with me and say forget it. I don't want her to resent me.""

With a soft smile the actress leaned over and kissed her cheek this time. "Then just tell her. Don't worry about how you say it or how it makes anyone look. Tell her the facts and let her decide on her own. Do what you need to."

Someone cleared their throat and both women looked to the door. Beth was standing half hidden behind it. "Am I interrupting?"

Rachel shook her head before standing up but halted as Quinn placed a kiss on her hand before let her go. She knew as well that this wasn't a talk for Rachel to have. "No. I need to get back inside and you two can talk. So have a seat."

The teenager nodded and stepped to the side so the brunette could pass before hesitantly taking a seat across from her birth mother. "Are you going to start pacing again? Because if you are I can turn the chair so you have the whole yard to use."

The older blonde wished it had been a little bit darker out to hide her blush but she shook her head in response. "No. In fact, if I stand up, tell me to sit down. I just do that when I'm excited or nervous. I don't hide things very well anymore. So, hey! That's a start on getting to know who I am."

Beth managed a light smile before adding, "And I am thankful for that but I was looking for a bit more."

"Right." Quinn deflated slightly as Beth lightly patter her hands together in the awkwardness. "I... where do you want me to start? What do you want to know exactly? Honestly."

"Honestly?"

Quinn nodded sharply. "Honestly."

Beth could feel the weight of the pressure. Should she be honest and dive right in or should she help the already struggling woman out by easing into things? Or would that cause her to lose the chance because of possible distraction? She hesitated still before straightening herself up with courage. "I want to know anything that influenced your choice to give me up. I want to know and understand why you did."

They had always just settled on Shelby's reasoning of Quinn's age and thought Beth had accepted it. She should have known better, especially having been married to Rachel who was in a similar situation. "I think that will pretty much cover my whole life so I hope you don't have to work tomorrow. We are going to be here awhile."

The teenager shrugged. "I have an in with my boss. I'm pretty sure she'll let me slide."

With one last laugh and smile the pair settled in to a silent waiting game. Beth was waiting for Quinn to start while Quinn was waiting for Beth to leave. "Why I decided to give you up for adoption..." Quinn hadn't realized she had spoke out loud until her daughter leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees in anticipation of an answer. With Rachel's voice in her ear, she bit down and decided to just say it. "It wasn't entirely because I was young. It wasn't entirely because I couldn't provide the basic needs for you. I had an option presented to me that would have allowed me to keep you."

Beth's quick head jerk stopped her from continuing. She could see the younger blonde was confused and even hurt as the unexpected statements set in. "Wait... what? Mom and you have both told me-"

"I know. I know. And in the details it is nothing but the truth."

"In the details? What the hell does that even mean? You can either keep me or you can't. Did you just not want me because I would have preferred knowing that I wasn't wanted than-"

"Beth, stop." The strong tone of voice threw them both. Quinn swallowed hard and it was the only sound they heard. It was as if the city that always hummed with noise had gone silent and was listening to them in eagerness. "I wanted to keep you. I honestly didn't think that anyone could love you as much as I could."

"Then why?" The tears were already starting to sting at Quinn's eyes. "Why did you turn down the opportunity to keep me? What was so bad about it?"

Quinn took a deep breath and let it out as slow as she could, trying to calm her nerves that already had her hands shaking. She set the beer bottle down on the table in between them before she dropped it. "I didn't want you to relive my life." The tone of desperation was lost on Beth without knowing more and Quinn knew it. "You know how quiet and distant my father is, right? He wasn't always like that. He used to walk around the house smiling and being chipper as if he owned the world. And that's because he did. He owned his world and everything in it. He owned his house. He owned his wife. He owned his daughters. And with that ownership came the right to demand and control every outward action and expressed emotion.

There were rules that you followed and consequences if you didn't. He ruled with an iron fist and controlled with fear. Mom played her part, the perfect wife, catering to his every want and desire. Christina played her role and loved every second of it. She was trained to know what to do and thrived off of his approval. She graduated at the top of her class, was class president, prom queen, home coming queen, head cheerleader, went to college but was really only there to find a good Christian man to marry. And as soon as she did, she dropped out and began having kids. That was what was expected and that's what she wanted to do. Dad couldn't have been happier with her.

Those are the things he demanded. And that... that isn't me. And I didn't want that for you. I know knew. I knew that when Mom kicked him out that she would let him right back in. I wasn't going to let him make you as miserable, lonely, and cold as I was."

Quinn wasn't sure when she had started raising her voice. Maybe it was in her eagerness to get this conversation over with or maybe it was a release of the anger she still had locked inside from all those years ago. But Beth was still sitting there in partial shock and the rest curiosity. "She... kicked him out? I feel like I'm missing something still. It makes sense but it doesn't."

The photographer chewed on her lip and winced at the pain. "I played my part as best I could. But it didn't make me happy like it did Christina. I saw his approval as hollow. He didn't love me, he loved how I was what he wanted me to be. Mom was busy numbing herself from her own unhappiness that she didn't take notice of how lonely I was. And when she did, it was going to cause such an issue with my father that she simply chose to ignore it, leaving me even more alone than before because I realized I didn't mean as much to her as I should have.

She knew I was pregnant with you. I never told her but she knew, and she left me to handle it on my own. When Dad finally did find out... She watched silently as he kicked me out of the house and disowned me." Beth threw her head back in disbelief and her mouth dropped open but she couldn't find any words to say. "Us, actually." Quinn corrected herself, sending her daughter a weak smile. "He kicked_ us_ out. I spent the next few months moving from couch to couch or a guest bedroom if it was available. Oddly though, I didn't feel as alone at night when everyone else was sleeping. When I couldn't sleep for whatever reason, whether it be all of my thoughts and worries, my uncertainties... I would rest my hand on my stomach and feel you move." The photographer couldn't help but remember those moments and smile. "I wasn't alone. You were going through it all with me. You were my reason for not shutting down completely. I knew then that I couldn't keep you because I didn't even have a home to bring you back to.

However, the day you were born changed that. Mom asked me to come home. She had caught dad having an affair and kicked him out. She wanted me to come home and start over, even suggesting that we turn Christina's old room into a nursery for you, but..."

"You knew."

Quinn nodded. "My mother is a very strong woman, she just didn't fully believe it back then. For years, Dad was her everything. And to suddenly be without him yet constantly reminded of him and seeing him still as he pleaded with her to take him back... It was only a matter of time."

Beth kept quiet and only nodded her head.

Quinn had said everything. Well, maybe not everything but the stress from school and the back and forth between Puck and Finn wasn't really necessary. Or maybe it was. "Did I answer your question or were you looking for more?"

Her response was a cracking of her voice until she cleared it. "Yes. I mean, you answered it."

"Did you have any others?"

"I do, but... I don't know if this is the ideal time anymore."

She was trying to be considerate but was also still processing everything. From what she had experienced of the Fabray family, though mostly through Quinn and Judy and how Russel was with the boys, they seemed like your typical family. She hadn't been expecting that much of a story to accompany the answer to her question. But Quinn leaned back on the lounge chair again and called with her hands. "Bring it on. Might as well."

If Quinn offered, she might as well. "Are you... Do you hate Shelby?"

The older woman hadn't expected the question but should have seen the natural progression coming. "I have two very different relationships with Shelby. One as your mom and one as Rachel's mother." She explained, stressing the difference in title. "As your mom, I will be forever thankful, grateful, and in her debt for what she has done for you. As Rachel's mother... that's a different story."

Beth leaned forward. "Tell it to me?"

Quinn smirked softly. "For as much as I want to get over it for Rachel's sake, I can't. I mean, I look at you now and this odd sort of distance thing that has crept in recently and I want nothing more than to understand and close it. Just so I can be that much closer to you and learn you and all that I've missed. But Shelby... it's like she has no emotion what so ever towards Rachel. As a mother, I don't understand it and as Rachel's wife, it greatly upsets me because I want her to have everything she desires. I can't say I hate Shelby, but I am not nearly as at peace with her as Rachel seems to be. So I constantly go back and forth between my two relationships with her. She's a horrible mother, but a good mom. She is a good mom, isn't she?" Quinn suddenly asked. She had always seemed to be but no one really knows what happens behind closed doors.

Beth nodded though. "She is. But I can correct something you said. She does have emotions for Rachel, she's just not willing to admit it to herself. She finds it easier for her to ignore them I think."

"You think? Why do you think that?"

"Because as everyone puts it, I am you." Quinn was lost at the meaning behind the statement so Beth continued. "Tell me, is Rachel still planning out what classes Gabe is going to take and when he should start his first play?" Quinn nodded, interested in where this was going. "What does she have planned for Julian?"

"Nothing specifically for him yet. But he will do the same classes as Gabe until we find out what he does want to do."

"But she isn't actively trying to find out what that is, is she?" Quinn gave a slightly defensive look. "I'm not saying she has a favorite or anything. Just that she can relate to one more than the other."

"I don't see where you are going with this though it may just be the crappy beer."

"I can sing, but I'm not a singer. I can dance, but I'm not a dancer. I can act, but I'm not an actress. Those aren't my passions. Those are my mom's. And like any parent, she wants to be able to relate and bond with me over them. And I think the older I got, the more Mom realized that she has two daughters. Me, and the one who is just like her." Beth dropped her eyes and Quinn felt the sudden urge to go over and hug her, seeing a soft sadness in her eyes. "Mom was supportive. But I could tell that the further my interests drifted from hers, the more she thought about what it would be like to have Rachel as a teenager again. I think she regrets turning away from her."

Quinn wanted to be frustrated with the yo-yoing the woman was doing over Rachel but it was clearly something Beth was still uneasy with herself so she decided to not rant about it just yet. "So where does the 'you are me' come in to that equation?"

"Well, it seems I am like you in many ways because I also tried my hardest to be what I thought Mom wanted. I took all the classes. I got the lead in the plays. I practiced so I could get solos in glee. But lets face it, who can compare with the Rachel Berry? I tried to do everything she could relate to while avoiding everything that reminded her I'm not... her... exactly. What made it more imperative is where my real passions actually lied. Because _that_ would have made our gray area even larger."

Realization washed over Quinn. "That's why you have my camera. You want to be a photographer."

Beth looked surprised that Quinn knew she had taken the bag. "How did you-"

"I saw if when I was putting your laundry on your bed but I just figured you would tell me why you had it when you were ready. But that also explain why you were okay with a job at the studio when it meant you would have to deal with the bickering couple and all of the kids. It all makes sense now."

"And it's completely your fault too." Beth added with a bit of a smile. "From the moment you showed me that camera the day we first met... and it was cemented when you actually bought me one. I even cried when it finally broke and I was 14! I still have it too!"

Quinn was beaming now. It really all did make sense now. Beth had been walking that fine line she had done at the same age, wanting to make your parents happy while trying to figure out what it was you wanted to do and how much she was willing to risk for it. But while Quinn had a pregnancy to worry about, Beth had the complicated relationship of Shelby, Rachel and Quinn to deal with and not wanting to blur any lines of loyalty, or at least have it be perceived as such.

"So... does Shelby know?"

Beth bobbed her head from side to side. "I think she does but hasn't said anything because then it is real. I think she fears that me being up here is going to pull me away from her. Which leads me to something else..."

Quinn arched an eyebrow.

"The reason I asked if you hated her or not... and why I asked Rachel as well... is that... Mom's moving here next year."

Now it was Beth's turn to bit her lip as Quinn dropped her head into her hand and picked up her beer with the other. She might just finish off the whole case tonight.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N:

Where to begin...

I'm sorry for such a long and drawn out hiatus. I appreciate all of you who have emailed or messaged me with your concerns for my health. Right now we don't actually know what is going on. After I finished up with my chemo I had to repeat my scans to make sure the cancer was still in remission, however, the scans came back positive.

There is a good chance this is a false-positive result but due to the location of the possible cancer, my doctor has ruled against surgery in order to confirm. We have been waiting to redo the scans to look for either a spread of the cancer as an indication of a positive result, or the disappearance of the marker on the scan as an indication of a false-positive result. So right now I am in limbo until we repeat the scans in March.

As for the story... I would love to finish this and not leave you all hanging but work has over-ridden my life right now. I've been working 100+ hours a pay period and sleeping when I can. Lol. In my spare time I have decided to actually rework BWYDT in attempt to maybe publish it in the relatively near future. So all of my writing efforts have been on that. This sequel has taken a back seat and will continue to do so for awhile.

I apologize for leaving you wondering as long as I have. If anything comes of my attempts to get published, I will certainly let you all know. Thank you for your support. You can keep checking my blog ( .com ). I haven't updated in awhile but I will hopefully begin to shortly. I have a few funny stories and poems to share. You can still message me through this site and I will respond by message or email back as soon as I can.

Thank you all again.

-Brandi


	16. Chapter 16

Long time no talk?

I'm sorry to say this is not an update for the story. The truth is, I don't think I will be finishing the sequel up in the near future.

I just wanted to post that I am alive and for the most part well. I'm currently in remission and taking my health issues day by day. Unfortunately, life has become a bit of a creative block for me these last few years. I'm still pushing myself to get back into the swing of things, but I don't want to put out a chapter or finish up this story 'half-hearted'. You all deserve more than that for all the support you have given to me.

I greatly appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to read, review, email, message... everything. I have read all of them and have taken them to heart. You mean more to me than you know.

It is my hope to one day finish BWYDT as a novel and attempt to get it published. It is going to take time though. More than I was hoping for.

Again, thank you. And I'm sorry for leaving you hanging.


End file.
